Do internet dating sites really work? (1 Viewer)

[Aurel Savin]

Internet dating never works for me... my wife and I can't understand why.

I tried internet dating and I hated it. The back and forth emailing and small talk kills me. I rather go out and try to meet someone face to face.

Although, I have this female friend that has met a lot of guys online. Yes, it is obviously easier for women to meet guys online as well.

 

[ThomasC]

http://eharmony.com/ has been airing ads on a radio station I listen to, and they use a scientific method to match people up.

 

[ChadLB]

There are alot of different services out there. Just to name a few(aol personals, yahoo personals, lavalife, matchmaker, ..and the list goes on)
I thought I would never use it but got sick of the bar scenes and trying to meet women that way so I placed ads on probably 5 different places. I did meet a few girls in person but none seem to fit the so called profile.
I had chatted with this one for like 4-5 months and kept asking to see a picture of her..since I had a pic on my ads.
She finally sent one and well we finally met in person after chatting for like 6 months by then. We went on a few more so called dates and eventually hit it off. We have been together for 3 years, just bought a house and are now engaged.......so yes it can work..you just have to put time into it...be yourself, be honest, and have fun.

 

[John Perry]

Those sites most certainly do work! My soon to be fiancee and I met through match.com (which by the way I thought was the best site, I briefly tried yahoo and the onion personals).

My girlfriend and I are both intelligent, professional, successful, normal people who didn’t meet the right person in ‘traditional’ ways. The profiles allow you to know more about a person than you would normally learn in several dates with someone that you met in another way. I also found that the pictures and profiles rarely lied.

I find it funny that some people seem to be preoccupied with handling how to explain that they met their significant other online, especially when they haven’t even met that person yet! At this point we hardly remember how we met, it seems like we have known each other forever (in a good way!).

Some tips from my experience:

- A face to face meeting after a couple of e-mail or phone messages is the best strategy. There is a balance here – avoid pushing to hard to meet immediately (comes off as psycho) and don’t get stuck exchanging messages for an extended period without a face to face meeting in the works.
- Take your time and put your profile together carefully, if nothing else it’s a good exercise in who you are and what you’re looking for.
- Don’t lie on your profile, it doesn’t take long to see though it.
- When you do meet face to face, arrange something short that will end quickly if there is no connection and could be extended if there is – like coffee or a drink that could extend into lunch or dinner.

Good Luck!

 

[Karl_Luph]

Wow, great advice guys, I didn't expect so many people replying but I guess there are_ alot of folks using these sites. The main thing it sounds , is to be total sincere and honest in your essays and profile,use recent photos, and just be yourself. From the way a number of these sights are set up you could be just looking for someone as a pen pal, friend, date, or more seriously looking to have a relationship or marriage partner.

 

[Garrett Lundy]

I met my girlfriend (of one year) in an internet chatroom. Of course she only lived 15 minutes away from me (at the time).

 

[MarkHastings]

I always have great luck with dating sites...until I send them my photo, then the conversations stop.




Oh well - Case of Rum, Case of Rum

 

[Simon_Lepine]

I think John Perry gave some very good advice.

Myself, I met my girlfriend through Lavalife, we live together now and it's been close to a year.

It took some time to meet the right one, but the best advice is not to spend too much time before a meeting, usually there is something wrong if the other doesn't want to see you after a week or so corresponding.

 

[MarkHastings]

Question to those who are now living with people they have met through the internet:

How do you communicate now? Do you write the person a note and leave it on the kitchen table for them to respond to?

Sorry, I know, bad joke...:b

 

[Garrett Lundy]

How do you communicate now? Do you write the person a note and leave it on the kitchen table for them to respond to?

You send them an Instant Message, Duh!

 

[Kevin T]

i tried the yahoo personals for a about two months after i went through a real bad break up with my girlfriend of almost 6 years. i found myself alone and very depressed. not really the state to start meeting people in but i had to do something to take my mind off the situation. i met one girl but it didn't really work out. i wasn't particularly attracted to her and she wasn't that deep into me so it worked out well. i, however, forgot to take down my profile and was contacted about 2 months ago by another woman, slightly older (28, i just turned 26) but nothing major and with two kids. i dated her for a while and we became intimate but from the first girl i met online to the second girl, i had become more comfortable and at ease being single so i no longer desired a relationship. i broke it off with the second girl but we're still friends. i think the main reason i see in using internet dating sites is the convenience factor. i work close to 60 hours a week (including all day friday and saturday) so i really have little to no time to go out and meet people. all the woman at my full time job are either married, engaged, or in a long relationship. i'm currently still enjoying being single but i am starting to feel the need for companionship. time will tell.

kevin t

 

[MarkHastings]

You send them an Instant Message

So how does that work? Do you write it on a piece of paper, tie it to the dogs collar and then yell "Go see Mommy!!!"

Oh no, I just got another idea - Imagine if you didn't like all the 'crap' your wife talks to you about, you can just create a filter that throws all of her conversations in the trash. Or you get some kind of spam blocker.

She'll start to yell at you about leaving your dirty socks on the floor and your software instantly shuts her up

 

[Joe6pack99]

just use them for the purpose of sex and go from there

 

[MarkHastings]

Jarrett, I've tried, it still doesn't work.

 

[Josh Lowe]

Timely topic. I signed up on match.com about a month and a half ago. So far I've gotten around 20-25 responses. Out of those responses I've been interested in 10 and have met 3.

Date #1: Disaster. The girl seemed --really-- nice both on the phone and IM. We had some really good chemistry going. We met a week ago and she looked even cuter than her picture. But she just totally flaked on me. I noticed she did that a couple of times when we'd talk on the phone, but I figured she was just busy. Loose screw, I think.

Date #2: Good. The girl was very nice and we sat outside drinking margaritas until 11 on a Monday evening, then went back to my place and continued till about 1. We're planning on getting together again soon.

Date #3: Meh. The girl seemed nice but she's.. scared of -everything-. I mean she was so afraid of everything that it started to become unnerving. Very insecure in herself and everything around her. She was nice enough and we -did- have a lot in common, but her constant insecurity and fear of the littlest things (we went to an ice cream place that shares a parking lot w/ a warehouse next door and she started getting nervous thinking I was taking her to some remote place, even though I told her ten times that it was in the furniture district.. duh!) made me too uncomfortable to have much of a good time. She sent me a "let's just be friends" email the next day, which was a relief because it saved me the trouble.

Date #4: Coming up sometime next week, the girl's currently out of town for a wedding and we're going to plan something when she gets back.

Date #5: Probably next weekend.

All of these girls definitely qualify as "attractive", and two of them qualify as out and out hot. I don't consider myself to be a vain person but I do feel I look good enough to draw an attractive girl's attention between my looks and personality.

So, that's my Internet dating story so far. Even though two of the three dates were definitely not going to lead to second dates, I still had fun on all of them.

Just remember the two golden rules:

1. It's a game, whether you like it or not.

2. Be disinterested, otherwise you're dead in the water.

 

[Chris Lockwood]

Josh, how much time did you spend on email/phone/IM with each before meeting? I think usually the less, the better. (Maybe that should be rule 3.) At least unless you want to be someone's free therapist/listening post.

 

[Josh Lowe]

The first one a lot of time - i realized my mistake and cut down subsequently. I like to get to know someone before I decide on meeting them because it builds a connection, but you're right about the listening post part. I'm good at keeping things light, too.

 

[Chris Lockwood]

I should have also asked how many calls/emails you typically exchange before meeting, & how much calendar time usually passes from the first response to the first meeting.

In one extreme case, I lived on the same road as the other person, within a 10-min drive, yet rather than meet, she'd spend an hour on the phone talking about how busy she was. She was probably also telling all her friends that she couldn't meet people.

 

[Josh Lowe]

It seems like 2-3 emails builds enough comfort to get the phone # and then one or two phone calls to build enough comfort to meet up. Calendar time between first contact and meeting? Preferably a week or so..

 

[Karl_Luph]

Ok. you guys talked me into to it, I'm going to give it a try. Thanks for all the comments.