- Joined
- Jun 20, 2004
- Messages
- 3,527
- Real Name
- Richard W
The new James Bond film starring Judi Dench starts filming in November. It will be the final chapter in the "Stop! Or M Will Shoot!" trilogy. The internet is a beehive of rumors about the story, the title, the locations, and the casting. Two things are certain: Sam Mendes is the director, and Daniel Craig returns as Bond.
What would you like to see in the new James Bond film?
Here is what I want:
I want Judi Dench to shut up, stand down, and stay at the office. She stayed too long at the party. She's worn out her welcome. If she has three minutes on screen, it's too long.
I want literate and intelligent writing in the Ian Fleming / Richard Maibaum tradition freed from Barbara Broccoli's agenda. Get rid of amateur hack writers Purvis and Wade and hire a professional dramatist noted for his traditional dramatic accomplishments -- someone like Tom Stoppard, or a writer of his calibre.
Don't let the female lead run away with the story. A Bond film isn't about M and it isn't about the girl he's involved with. She's important, yes, and she is to be treated fairly, but she doesn't get equal time. A Bond film is about James Bond on his mission.
Stop portraying James Bond as a callous, uncouth, unfeeling, mindless killing machine. That's wrong. James Bond is a gentleman and a Naval commander. Refined and reasonably well-educated at Eton. The son of a Scot and a Swiss mother who is raised in London. He is intelligent, thoughtful, observant, calculating, discerning, and knows spycraft. He has a moral compass and an inner decency even though he is a killer.
Implement espionage plots. ESPIONAGE. The act of spying.
Reinstate the gun barrel opening before the pre-title sequence.
Reinstate the traditional briefing in M's office.
Reinstate the James Bond Theme, or have the integrity to change all the names and call the hero by some other name.
An orchestrated title song performed by somebody with pipes. Somebody who can sing. Shirley Bassey preferred. No more nasal, scratchy punk-rock songs.
Suits, ties, tuxedos on the gentlemen.
Evening gowns, lingerie, and bikinis on the ladies.
Gambling and guns and all the ambiance thereof.
Let there be mood and atmosphere again.
Allow adult men and women to have a romantic / sexual adventure together without turning it into some kind of guilt trip they have to apologize for. No more "damaged goods" and no more "I'm so angry with myself" crap. Let them have fun. Women do have affairs and do go on adventures in real life. It's okay for the female characters to be attracted to Bond. Likewise, it's okay for Bond to enjoy women and to appreciate them, the way he used to.
No sci-fi / fantasy / superhuman / outer space stuff. Keep the story grounded in the plausible and in reality. Push it to the thin edge of surrealism and then pull back, the way Terrence Young and Peter Hunt did.
No slapstick / farce / self-ridicule / camp / comedy / nostalgia. Find that balance of tongue-in-cheek humor and self-deprecation but keep it subtle and in check, like the earliest films did.
No more of Bond behaving like an idiot and a child. No more excoriations from M. Six films of that is enough to make anybody sick. Give it a rest, for a change, will you.
Please! No more lectures on how to be a kinder, gentler spy and no bragging about how dangerous Bond is (no "I wouldn't be very good at my job if I did" crap).
Stop breaking the fourth wall. Bond is not a celebrity. Bond is not a "famous" secret agent within the story. The notion of a "famous" secret agent is contradictory and ludicrous. A good example of this mistake is in Casino Royale when Bond violates his own cover, checking in at the hotel desk and saying "Bond traveling as Somerset." When Vesper asks why he would do such a stupid thing, he answers that they're going to find out his real name anyway, so why bother. This is tortured logic and amateur writing. Believe in the story you're telling, or go do something else.
Violence that bruises and bleeds and hurts. Antiseptic violence is obscene. When there is violence, make sure it arises naturally out of the story and make sure it counts.
Gadgets grounded in reality -- use gadgets like spice on your food, don't let them become the food or the story. The computerized desk and computerized wall in Quantum of Solace are grounded in reality, it wouldn't hurt to make them standard.
Sensible action that arises naturally out of the story. For example, On Her Majesty's Secret Service is set in a lab high up in the alps, so a ski chase is a reasonable thing to have. In Thunderball a jet carrying a nuclear warhead is hijacked and hidden in shallow water, so underwater scuba diving makes sense. We don't need to see Bond run up a high-rise under construction just because it's there. Don't let the stuntman run amok with outrageous stunts that call attention to themselves and make no story sense.
Reinstate "Bond, James Bond" with the characteristics and habits Ian Fleming invested him with -- don't make a joke out of it, and don't make a point of it, just let it be there -- or have the the integrity to change the characters' name.
Bring back Q and Moneypenny and let them fill the same functions they did in Dr No and From Russia With Love. They stay back at the office. They lend support but are not the principle players.
Uphold the Broccoli-Saltzman principle that a Bond film should be directed by an Englishman and it should be an English-made film.
Dazzle us with a good story, dynamic action, appealing characters and exotic locations, but stop "jumping the shark." In other words, scale it down. No more overblown set pieces that call attention to themselves. This isn't Austin Powers.
Cast Europeans in the supporting roles and as female leads. No more airheaded American starlets.
Exotic European / Asian / South American locations. No more American settings.
No more putdowns of the American CIA.
Stop portraying Americans as buffoons; even Felix Leiter was used for comedy relief in GoldenEye.
Stop portraying American tourists for comedy relief.
Put Bond at risk in the field. He's on his own. Let him use his wits and stamina and intelligence to get out of trouble, or into it. Do this without making a point that you're doing it.
Keep dialogue straghtforward and simple. Less is more. Bond is not a chatterbox. Let him DO things without talking about them. Note how little dialogue Bond has in From Russia With Love. Note also how intently Sean Connery listens before he says anything. He's a good listener. And when he speaks, it is in blunt language matched with a steady gaze that holds the eyeline, and thereby, your attention.
Minimize the cell phone usage. The last thing we want is another 30 minutes of cell phone interaction like in Casino Royale, a film that had more talking than 40 years of Bond films combined.
No shaky camera and No hyper-fast editing. That's for Bourne, not Bond.
Okay, that's what I want from the next James Bond film.
What would you like to see?
