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*** Official G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra Review Thread

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15 replies to this topic

#1 of 16 OFFLINE   Shad R

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Posted August 05 2009 - 07:58 PM

I saw the film yesterday. 
While there are some good special effects, and a few nifty action sequences, this movie on a whole was a huge letdown.  There are some MAJOR plotholes, some pretty fuzzy math,  and a plot device at the end of the movie for that "emotional" impact that betrays the entire G.I. Joe history.
This movie was also poorly acted and very cheesy. 
Overall I give it a C-, if only for the scene where Baroness and Storm Shaddow invade Joe headquarters.  That was actually a really cool scene.  Too bad the rest of the movie was not as cool.

#2 of 16 OFFLINE   Robert Crawford

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Posted August 05 2009 - 11:04 PM

This thread is now the Official Review Thread for "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra". Please post all HTF member reviews in this thread.

Any other comments, links to other reviews, or discussion items will be deleted from this thread without warning!

If you need to discuss those type of issues then I have designated an
Official Discussion Thread.



#3 of 16 OFFLINE   Patrick Sun

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Posted August 06 2009 - 07:34 PM

I kept my expectations at low levels (plus, I'm not all that steeped in G.I. Joe lore), and what director Sommers has brought to the big screen is 2 hours of a live-action adaptation of a G.I. Joe cartoon, mainly in terms of cartoon physics, action sequences, violence, weapons, flashback sequences, character interplay, etc. It feels like a film targeted to 8 year old boys, and given Hasbro's stake in the production, no wonder the film's tone and aspirations are so limited in scope (and deaths are kept to the bloodness variety for the most part). The CGI looked bad in various spots in the film.

But make no mistake, if you like crazy action movies, this movie is almost balls-to-the-walls action sequence after action sequences, with some screenwriting attempts to toss in some emotional relational undercurrents between characters, though not all that convincing in most of those types of scenes. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be (given Sommers' cinematic pedigree), and there are a few cheesy moments, but there are also a couple of sequences that brought a smile to my face, so it wasn't a dreadful viewing experience because the film stomps on the gas pedal for most of the running time and never lets up.

I don't think fans of the comics and cartoons will like some of the changes found in the movie, though.

I give it 2 stars or a grade of C (maybe a half star more if kids are the audience).
Edited by Patrick Sun - 8/8/2009 at 03:08 am GMT
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#4 of 16 OFFLINE   Diallo B

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Posted August 07 2009 - 02:56 AM

it was no where near as bad as i thought it was going to be.  as the above stated it was definitely a live action cartoon.  but i am sure that they skated by with that pg-13 rating. some of the violence was graphic.

with all of that said i would go see it again.  it was definitely worth it for the action scenes and the backstory of SOME of the characters was somewhat compelling.  the editing was surprisingly fluid.  after transformers and terminator i was expecting far worse.

and honestly i would probably watch this again before i would watch transformers or terminator again.

worth a matinee at least.
Edited by Diallo B - 8/7/2009 at 10:10 pm GMT
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#5 of 16 OFFLINE   Brett_M



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Posted August 07 2009 - 06:42 AM

Saw this with my kids today.  I read the paperback novelization last week so I knew every beat.  It was still an enjoyable.  It's big and cheesy and the script is very brisk -- dense with information.  The action was well staged and the characters all got to shine.  I am a huge Snake Eyes fan from way back and Ray Park did not disappoint.  The ladies were nice -- Sienna Miller looked gorgeous as Baroness and Rachel Nichols' Scarlett was stunning.  Overall, fun stuff.  It was a nice first entry in the series.  It's better than both Transformers and Terminator Salvation.

It's worth a look on the big screen.

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#6 of 16 OFFLINE   Robert Crawford

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Posted August 07 2009 - 07:21 AM

I took in a matinee today and thought it was better than the Terminator and Transformers movies of this summer.  Of course that's not saying much, but I had a good time watching it.  I agree with most of what the previous two reviews had to say about this film and would give the film a B- as a summer live action cartoon. 


#7 of 16 OFFLINE   Terry Hickey

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Posted August 07 2009 - 10:55 AM

Saw this today and I thought it was an enjoyable, good popcorn action flick.  I would rate it around a B- also.  It was mainly non-stop action without the gratuitous blood and gore that some films think they need to have.  I'm sure it was aimed for the youngsters, but I enjoyed it.  

#8 of 16 OFFLINE   Simon Massey

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Posted August 07 2009 - 11:21 AM

A film based on a toy-line aimed at and appropriate for its target audience!!!! Whatever next!!

Though Im not a fan of Sommers films I applaud him for this. 

#9 of 16 OFFLINE   Chuck Mayer

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Posted August 07 2009 - 12:22 PM

I'll make it simple:

Remember Flag Points? www.yojoe.com/archive/mailin/flagpointinsert.shtml

I do.  I am the perfect age for the 3 and 3/4 inch figures.  I collected them into Junior High (I was a nerd), and was a huge fan of the comic during it's brightest days (#25 - #50, though I read for a year or two after that).  I know my GI Joe pretty well.  So it is with some satisfaction (and some frustration) that I enjoyed this movie.  I thought all hope for Sommers was lost with Van Helsing (after a decent Deep Rising and a tolerable Mummy adventure).  But he found something tailor made for him.

How to best quantify my rating?  I'll go old school:

Opening sequence: 0 Flag Points
Basically wasting Joseph Gordon-Levitt: -50 Flag Points
Eccleston: 10 Flag Points
Multiple action scenes: 5 Flag Points
Unironically mirroring Team America: 0 Flag Points
Accelerator Suits: -10 Flag Points (I expected a lot worse)
The Pitt: 10 Flag Points
The Pitt Infiltration: 25 Flag Points
Being International instead of a Real American Hero: -25 Flag Points
Cover Girl: 15 Flag Points
Scarlett: 20 Flag Points
High-Tech Crossbow: -5 Flag Points
Rachel Nichols: 50 Flag Points
Snake-Eyes done basically right: 25 Flag Points
Snake-Eyes silence: 10 Flag Points
Screwing up why he is mute: -10 Flag Points
No Timber: -5 Flag Points
Kid Fighting: 10 Flag Points per occurrence = 30 Flag Points
Byung-hun Lee as Storm Shadow: 50 Flag Points
Always wearing white and using throwing stars: 15 Flag Points
Dialogue: -15 Flag Points
Tatum having no personality: -10 Flag Points
Tatum looking exactly right: 10 Flag Points
Screwing up Baroness' motivations with awful plot twist: -25 Flag Points
Ubertechnology that hates physics and the laws of thermodynamics and fluid mechanics: -50 Flag Points
$35 trillion budget but no authority to operate in Paris: -20 Flag Points
Baroness: 10 Flag Points
Sienna Miller as Baroness: 100 Flag Points
Sienna Miller as both blond and raven haired: 50 Points
Baroness' outfits: 50 Points
Baroness and Scarlett fight: 10 Flag Points
Watchable, well-paced action fantasy by Sommers: 50 Flag Points

= 320 (or so) Flag Points I'd spend to see a sequel.  Not a great film, but certainly a watchable one.  Better than Transformers.  The first one.  Absolutely saved by my pants being on fire thanks to the ladies.

Bonus Spoiler Flag Points below:

The Night Raven flying Mach 20 with infinite fuel: -25 Flag Points
Ripcord ejecting in the lower ionosphere and landing on the WH lawn, helmetless and not suffering from oxygen deprivation of hypothermia: -25 Flag Points
Killing Storm Shadow: -20 Flag Points
100% Chance he'd be back for sequel anyway: 20 Flag Points
Driving a motorcycle through Arlington: -25 Flag Points
Sonic Weapons: 25 Flag Points

Hey buddy...did you just see a real bright light?

#10 of 16 OFFLINE   Cory S.

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Posted August 09 2009 - 11:18 AM

Best review you've ever done Chuck....

And, I agree with everything you said except it being better than Transformers.  I'm in the major minority but I think I preferred Revenge of the Fallen and the first film to this one.  Something about the giant f'ing robots for me.  But, enjoyable as hell, this flick was.  No doubt about it.

And goodness gracious, Rachel Nichols is smokin' hot.

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#11 of 16 OFFLINE   James_Kiang



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Posted August 09 2009 - 08:16 PM

I found the movie to be mostly entertaining.  Kind of funny that to me the forced, cheesy lines that hearken back to the cartoon were some of the worst bits in my opinion.  It rates higher than Revenge of the Fallen for me, but I still would put the first Bay Transformers movie above it.  As for the ladies, I'm not a big Sienna Miller fan but she looked quite good here.  I can't complain about Rachel Nichols but she still is not my cup of tea.

#12 of 16 OFFLINE   cineMANIAC



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Posted August 10 2009 - 01:06 AM

I can't believe they're still letting Stephen Sommers make movies!  This was dreadful. This guy went downhill fast after Deep Rising
RIP Roberto Gomez Bolanos.

#13 of 16 OFFLINE   TravisR


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Posted August 10 2009 - 05:58 AM

The movie isn't as bad as the trailers and commercials make it look but it's still not very good. On the positive side, it does have a sense of fun and it doesn't take itself too seriously (though I can understand that some fans want a mature take on the material).

On the negative side, the script seems more like a parody of an action movie than a real screenplay (I'm not asking for Chinatown but even with proper expectations, I think it was a pretty lousy script). And some of the CG is downright terrible. There was even green screen shots that looked terrible. Even TV shows can get green screen shots nearly perfect today so it's just embarassing that a big budget movie couldn't do it.

#14 of 16 OFFLINE   Paul Arnette

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Posted August 10 2009 - 07:54 AM

Considering I thought this movie was going to be my children's generation's answer to Megaforce, I came out of it pleasantly surprised.  It was by no means a great movie, but I thought it was a good movie considering a summer full of disappointments, Star Trek and Up aside.

I think that if they can take the same tone, improve some of the special effects, and, most importantly, get back to some costume designs that are reminiscent of the '82-'85 core characters, they'd have a chance at a decent franchise.

Universal Blu-ray Discs I will not be buying while they're offered only as Blu-ray + DVD 'flipper' discs:

The Jackal
, Out of Africa, and Traffic.

#15 of 16 OFFLINE   Steve Christou

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Posted August 19 2009 - 11:45 AM

I hope the film makes enough dosh to warrant a sequel or two.
3 out of 5.

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#16 of 16 OFFLINE   MattFini


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Posted August 19 2009 - 12:56 PM

I could not believe how much I liked it.

I will be getting this on BD as soon as I possibly can.

Universal, please release Streets of Fire on Blu-ray.

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