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Joseph - Here's my version of the onion joke: Q: What do you think will happen if you crossed a long-eared, horse-like creature with a multi-layered garden vegetable (that is good sauteed with mushrooms in butter and served with a nice steak, perhaps a medium-rare T-bone or porterhouse)? A: A...

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does she begins to gently caress his full beard. "Are you the...

Christ - your joke about the jackass had me rolling (and I almost never roll while reading jokes). A similar version: Bartender: What'll you have? Bar Patron: Give me a beer; and (pointing to another customer) give that douche bag whatever he wants. Bartender: OK, but I'd appreciate it...