Your favorite TV quotes of all time (1 Viewer)

[Ron1973]

Aside from the quote in my sig line, my favorite has to be Fred and Esther on Sanford and Son:

Esther: When I's born, my body was blessed by Mother Nature, honey!Fred: (looking her up and down) Yeah, and as you got older, it was CURSED by Father Time!

 

[Jack P]

Best Sanford and Son quote:

Officer Hoppy-"You know that soul food smells just like hammer hocks and black-eyed rice."

Best Voyage To The Bottom of the Sea quote:

"We don't know anyone in Norfolk, Virginia anyway!'

 

[Ron1973]

I remember Fred telling someone (probably Grady) about a beauty pageant contestant:"I don't like to talk about nobody but she looked like the part of the Polaroid that you tear off!"

Then when Jethro was joining the reserves on The Beverly Hillbillies, the colonel explained to him the following:"Now that you're joining the military you'll be filling out lots of forms. Name, address, date of birth are all fine. But, Jethro, where it says 'sex,' write 'male' not 'oh, boy!'"

 

[Ejanss]

I could make a list of all the Flintstones quotes that became our second language, growing up in our family--
Of which my favorite, though, has to be the time Wilma and Betty won a slogan contest for a meatball company:
TV Announcer: "Congratulations, ladies, for your winning slogan, 'Mother MacGuire's Meatballs don't bounce'....
(suddenly serious voice) And ladies and gentlemen--(splat!)--THEY DON'T."

As for all-time favorite TV quote, I've found there's some kind of genius in Joel Hodgson's MST3K-ism, after an annoying character was killed off in a movie:"He died as he lived: With his mouth wide open."

 

[Richard V]

Get Smart - Maxwell Smart, "Sorry about that, Chief".

 

[David Weicker]

Law And OrderDr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Right now, I've got to get a javelin out of somebody's chest.Lennie Briscoe: What made you go into this line of work?Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Free javelins.

 

[Rob_Ray]

I Love Lucy:

Lucy: Ever since we said 'I do' there are so many things we don't.

***
Lucy: I write a check out to the beauty parlor every month.

Ricky: Yes, I know that, but they don't always have a little note in the back like this one: "Dear Teller, be a lamb, and don't put this through 'til next month." Now, what do you gotta say for yourself?

Lucy: That's why they call 'em "tellers." They go around blabbing everything they know!

 

[DisneySwan1990]

NYPD Blue: Sipowicz"Shut up or I'll break your jaw!!!""I don't wanna beat the crap outta ya.""If I can do it, I can do it."

 

[Jeff Willis]

[media]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpGx4foRdPw&list=RDqpGx4foRdPw[/media]










The Longer Ranger: "A fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust, and a hearty 'Hi-ho, Silver, away!'"

Wagon Train (Ward Bond seasons): "Wagons, Ho!"

 

[Gary OS]

Andy Griffith Show - Brisco Darling, "More power to ya."




Gary "another great topic - thanks Ron!" O.

 

[Cinescott]

"I am the one who knocks." Breaking Bad

 

[Gary OS]

One of my all-time favorite episodes of The Andy Griffith Show - "Mountain Wedding" - has several of my favorite quotes of all time. In one 4 minute section alone there are many quotes that just kill me:

"Look out here. Can you see me?"

Ernest T Bass's tune up & song

"I'm saving up for a gold tooth"

"Ever since I saw a hangin' I've been nervous about wearing one of these things."

"The boys ain't much on compliments"

"Stop that boy. You want your face to freeze thata way."




Gary "I pull that episode out and watch it at least a couple of times a year" O.

 

[Gary OS]

I Love Lucy - "Job Switching" - the scene with Ricky and Fred talking about making dinner.

Ricky - "Fred, what do you know about rice?"

Fred - "I know it was thrown at me on one of the darkest days of my life."



Gary "couldn't find a clip of that one - but it's one of my favorites" O.

 

[Rob_Ray]

Another I LOVE LUCY, from one of the episodes where they are preparing to go to Europe: Fred finds his old WWI Doughboy uniform and tries it on after nearly 40 years, saying "Look at me! I'm a Doughboy!"

LUCY: "Whoever put the dough in that boy used too much yeast."

 

[Rob_Ray]

BEWITCHED - "Endora Meets What's His Name" -

NEIGHBOR BOY to ENDORA after she tells him she's a witch: "Are you a good witch or a bad witch?"
ENDORA: Comme ci comme ca.

 

[Dan McW]

THE FUGITIVE - "The Other Side of the Mountain"

Sheriff (R.G. Armstrong) to owner of dogs tracking Kimble: "Them dogs couldn't track a bear through a flour mill."

 

[Rob_Ray]

THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES: When asked if her "rheumatiz medicine" helped her rheumatism, she replied:

"I've had rheumatiz for nigh onto forty years. -- (lowering her voice): Loved every minute of it!"

 

[smithbrad]

Lots of memorable quotes being provided.

Some shows can be identified by a single quote. Jeff already listed a quote from Hill Street Blues that fits that category.

The quote I'm going to provide is from a lesser known Western, but it also fits the bill, and it's the first thing that comes to mind whenever I think of the show "Guns of Will Sonnett". Walter Brennan saying "No brag... just fact."

 

[Ron1973]

THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES: When asked if her "rheumatiz medicine" helped her rheumatism, she replied:

"I've had rheumatiz for nigh onto forty years. -- (lowering her voice): Loved every minute of it!"

Reminds me of the first episode where Jed is attempting to convince Granny to move to Californy. He reminds her that she always felt so miserable walking down to the still in the cold.

Granny replied: "I might feel miserable goin' down but the way I feel's comin' back makes up fer it!"

 

[JohnMor]

So many to choose from, but here are a few of my favorites:

Ethel Mertz: "Ethel to Tillie. Ethel to Tillie. Come in Tillie."

Ethel Mertz: "She called me a hippopotamus!"
Lucy Ricardo: "Oh, I did not. I said you were a little 'hippy.' But on second glance, you DO have the biggest potamus I've ever seen!"

Laura Petrie: "Well, Alan, there must be some needy bald people!"

Laura Petrie: "I was playing with a drip!"

John Steed: "Mrs. Peel, we're needed."

Customer: "This is an EX parrot!"

Edith Bunker: "Cling peaches. In heavy syrup."

Edina Monsoon: "Why don't we just have a stupidity tax? Why don't we just tax the stupid people?!"