Your DVD collection could be ruining your love life!

SteveGon

Senior HTF Member
Joined
Dec 11, 2000
Messages
12,251
Real Name
Steve Gonzales
According to this Onion article:

"They're the sort of things you'd rent, not buy, if you watch them at all," Pearle said. "Out of the thousands of movies you could own, why would you spend your money on this stuff? Don't you buy a movie because you're somehow passionate about it and want to watch it again and again? Does this guy feel that way about Hard Rain?"
Go here for the full story.
 

David Von Pein

Senior HTF Member
Joined
Feb 4, 2002
Messages
5,748
From article:

"I slept with a guy who, at some point in his life, walked into a store and said to the cashier, 'Hi, I would like to purchase this copy of The Legend Of Bagger Vance.'"
Oh boy! Guess I'd better sell my copy of Bagger post-haste then ..... that is, if I'm ever to realize true love.
 

David Von Pein

Senior HTF Member
Joined
Feb 4, 2002
Messages
5,748
A nearby DVD shelf revealed similarly banal choices, including Driven, Evolution, Swordfish, Tomcats, Point Break, Pushing Tin, Bedazzled, Flatliners, My Blue Heaven, and Proof Of Life.
Whew! *wipes brow with relief*
I don't have any of those.
(Guess I have a shot at true happiness with the lady after all.)
 

Blu

Screenwriter
Joined
Oct 6, 2001
Messages
1,360
I love The Onion!

One day a few months ago a actual sports writer on a radio station actually used one of their articles as a serious story!

It was hilarious! He went on and on like it was real!
He had no clue as to what The Onion was!
 

ChuckDeLa

Senior HTF Member
Joined
Nov 26, 2002
Messages
2,802
Yeah, I laughed a lot when I saw that article.

Not a single one of those movies here either (though we've rented a couple of them). I once contemplated blind-purchasing Swordfish, but thought better of it.
 

Damin J Toell

Senior HTF Member
Joined
Mar 7, 2001
Messages
3,762
Location
Brooklyn, NY
Real Name
Damin J. Toell
Ruh-oh. I've got Psycho (1998) and Evolution, and I'd pick up Hard Rain in a second if there was an SE. Heck, I've already spent $10 to see Hard Rain theatrically during a Ridley Scott retrospective. But don't sob for me too much - my girlfriend loves Evolution, too.

DJ
 

Jon Robertson

Screenwriter
Joined
May 19, 2001
Messages
1,568
It's not the mediocre films my girlfriend objects to, it's the many hundreds of discs of hardcore Dutch porn.
 

Jeremy Anderson

Screenwriter
Joined
Nov 23, 1999
Messages
1,049
Uhm... I have some of those movies AND I love Toad The Wet Sprocket! Should I be worried?

It's okay... my hand still loves me.
 

Stephen Heath

Stunt Coordinator
Joined
Jan 31, 2003
Messages
91
Oh-oh, I have, and have watched many times:

Rollerball (James Caan version)
Tomcats
My Blue Heaven
Legend Of Bagger Vance

Of course, I can't feel too bad since it's my wife that owns Flatliners
 

Sean Dayton

Stunt Coordinator
Joined
Dec 26, 2001
Messages
186
I guess that repeat love will have to factored into my DVD purchases now. I guess that Ron will have to add a will you get it twice into his reviews now.
 

Scott Calvert

Supporting Actor
Joined
Nov 2, 1998
Messages
885
Damin, you saw Hard Rain at a Ridley Scott retrospective? I think you mean Black Rain.

Hard Rain is an extremely mediocre action flick starring Christian Slater and Morgan Freeman. I believe it sat on the shelf for about 2 years before it was actually released theatrically.
 

Lyle_JP

Screenwriter
Joined
Oct 5, 2000
Messages
1,009
The only one I have is Swordfish, and I make no apologies. That explosion at the beginning of the film is one of those Home Theater System defining moments!

...and then of course, theres that great shot of "the twins".

-Lyle J.P>
 

DaveGTP

Senior HTF Member
Joined
Jul 24, 2002
Messages
2,096
Very funny story. I forwarded this link to my fiancee, as I buy very few movies, and, to me, she seems to buy a lot of good movies and some very mediocre ones(*cough cough Chick Flicks cough Cough*). The joke about Ashley Judd thrillers hit the spot especially, as I tease her about her Ashley Judd/Morgan Freeman murder mystery collection.
 

Mark Bendiksen

Screenwriter
Joined
Mar 16, 1999
Messages
1,090
That is an absolutely hysterical article from The Onion, and I'm not just saying that because I don't own any of those movies. I would find the article hilarious regardless.

Very funny stuff!
 

Vickie_M

Senior HTF Member
Joined
Dec 31, 2001
Messages
3,208
Yikes here too. I own Pushing Tin, My Blue Heaven, and Proof Of Life, and what's more, I *like* them! C'mon, Pushing Tin has Billy Bob Thornton, John Cusack, Cate Blanchett and Angelina Jolie. No, it's not great, but I'd watch that cast reading the phone book, and the movie is much more entertaining than the phone book. Air Traffic Controllers are COOL! My Blue Heaven is a guilty pleasure, and I think it's pretty funny. Proof of Life got a lot of crap because Crowe and Ryan had that torrid affair, but the movie itself is not that bad. I'm a Russell Crowe fan, and I like his character in it.

We own over 1000 DVDs, and the good-to-great far outweighs the ok-to-good (if I do say so myself). Most of the ok-to-good came from Hollywood Video's $8.00 sales, and other such previously-viewed sales. It'd take a person a hour to look closely through our DVD shelves, so the "what was she thinking?" titles would be harder to spot and quickly dismissed by an "oh wow, what a great movie!" DVD right next to it.

I love The Onion too!
 

Forum Sponsors

Forum statistics

Threads
345,217
Messages
4,734,671
Members
141,415
Latest member
bakiratbneha