You know you’re a bad golfer if… You consider a good round one in which you lost only half-a-dozen balls. More than once, you have attempted to return a club because "somehow it snapped." You have old, gnarly golf balls in your bag specifically to be used for over water shots. You refer to your driver as the "Big Dog" but hit it like a little puppy. You "prefer" to hit an iron off every tee. When playing in a club tournament, you get a stroke on EVERY hole. You can remember the one good shot you had all day. You "crush every shot" at the practice range but can’t get one more than 10 feet off the ground on the course. Your ball retriever is the most often used piece of equipment in your bag. There is one hole at your home course on which you can never score below double bogey. You and your group have rules for taking Mulligans. You have more than the regulation 14 clubs in your bag, including two putters. Your playing partners use the term "nice lag" to describe your putts that never reach the hole. You need a sand-blaster to remove the dirt from your clubs from taking divots. You blame everything and everyone except yourself for a bad shot. You buy cheap golf balls because you know you will end up losing most of them. You think changing clubs will improve your game. You get excited over a deep ball mark created in the green by your approach shot. You feel an undue amount of pressure when teeing off with people watching and always end up hitting a bad shot. You have more than three logo balls in your bag and none make a matching set. You constantly leave yourself further from the hole after a chip shot. You have thought to yourself that if you hole out from 140 yards, you can still make bogey. You shot in the 80’s once and have never come within 15 strokes of duplicating that score since.