You know you're a bad golfer if...

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Drew Bethel, Jun 24, 2002.

  1. Drew Bethel

    Drew Bethel Screenwriter

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    You know you’re a bad golfer if…

    You consider a good round one in which you lost only half-a-dozen balls.

    More than once, you have attempted to return a club because "somehow it snapped."

    You have old, gnarly golf balls in your bag specifically to be used for over water shots.

    You refer to your driver as the "Big Dog" but hit it like a little puppy.

    You "prefer" to hit an iron off every tee.

    When playing in a club tournament, you get a stroke on EVERY hole.

    You can remember the one good shot you had all day.

    You "crush every shot" at the practice range but can’t get one more than 10 feet off the ground on the course.

    Your ball retriever is the most often used piece of equipment in your bag.

    There is one hole at your home course on which you can never score below double bogey.

    You and your group have rules for taking Mulligans.

    You have more than the regulation 14 clubs in your bag, including two putters.

    Your playing partners use the term "nice lag" to describe your putts that never reach the hole.

    You need a sand-blaster to remove the dirt from your clubs from taking divots.

    You blame everything and everyone except yourself for a bad shot.

    You buy cheap golf balls because you know you will end up losing most of them.

    You think changing clubs will improve your game.

    You get excited over a deep ball mark created in the green by your approach shot.

    You feel an undue amount of pressure when teeing off with people watching and always end up hitting a bad shot.

    You have more than three logo balls in your bag and none make a matching set.

    You constantly leave yourself further from the hole after a chip shot.

    You have thought to yourself that if you hole out from 140 yards, you can still make bogey.

    You shot in the 80’s once and have never come within 15 strokes of duplicating that score since.
     
  2. KyleS

    KyleS Screenwriter

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    Damn Drew I think you just summed up my game in every aspect with that post.. [​IMG] Funny thing is some of those are perfect for me :b
    KyleS
     
  3. MickeS

    MickeS Producer

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    haha, some of those used to describe me to a tee, but I'm better now... this one still fits me though: "You get excited over a deep ball mark created in the green by your approach shot." [​IMG]
    My approach shots suck. [​IMG]
    /Mike
     
  4. Martin Fontaine

    Martin Fontaine Supporting Actor

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    I played golf with my mum saturday. I scored 85...



    ... On a 9-Hole PAR-3 course!!!

    I still enjoy golf though, and will go many times this summer...
     
  5. brentl

    brentl Cinematographer

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    "You consider a good round one in which you lost only half-a-dozen balls."
    On the courses I play losing six is a good day!
    "You have old, gnarly golf balls in your bag specifically to be used for over water shots. "
    That a lot smarter that hitting a $5 ball over ... dont you think?
    "You and your group have rules for taking Mulligans. "
    Yep because somebody ALWAYS talks during the backswing. You get 1 per 18
    "You think changing clubs will improve your game. "
    They did!!
    "You feel an undue amount of pressure when teeing off with people watching and always end up hitting a bad shot. "
    Doesn't everybody??
    "You have thought to yourself that if you hole out from 140 yards, you can still make bogey. "
    Uhm ... guilty[​IMG]
    Brent
     
  6. Brett Hancock

    Brett Hancock Supporting Actor

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    I love golf. In fact I'm going in about 30 minutes. 2nd round of the summer.

     
  7. Drew Bethel

    Drew Bethel Screenwriter

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    Hey guys, about 90% of those comments fit my game too! :b
    But I do LOVE repairing the occassional ball mark! [​IMG]
     
  8. Scott Merryfield

    Scott Merryfield Executive Producer

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  9. BrianW

    BrianW Cinematographer

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    Another one:
    * You constantly wonder why it is that your scores are always higher than your average game.
     
  10. Cam S

    Cam S Screenwriter

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    Here's another (which doesn't apply to me)

    "Fore" is the word you use the most during a round of golf.
     
  11. Steve Clark

    Steve Clark Second Unit

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    * You hit a drive that goes negative yards. I have hit trees beside the tee box or even tee markers in front of me and have ended up with a negative yardage drive as the ball ricoqued behind me.

    * You hit a drive that is topped so badly that the ball hits the ground right in front of you resulting in the ball popping straight up and you catching it. I was at a large outing one time where alot of people were lined up at the 1st tee watching groups start off. I lined up at the 1st tee and tried to drive the ball 300 yards. I ended up topping the ball and it struck the ground maybe 6 to 12 inches in front of me. There was so much spin on the ball that it popped straight up in the air back towards me and I caught it with one hand without even having to move or bend over. I slyly looked over at the observers and proclaimed "trick shot". They all cracked up laughing. A low point in my golf career.
     
  12. Joe_C

    Joe_C Supporting Actor

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  13. Eric Kahn

    Eric Kahn Guest

    we do 1 muligan per side
    my rule "if it does not leave the tee box, it does not count as a stroke"
    my average score for 18 is in the 120's I can hit long drives but they usually wind up on the wrong fairway
    then I top all my other shots[​IMG]
     
  14. Jeff Ulmer

    Jeff Ulmer Producer

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    I usually score about an 85. I do better on the second hole.
     
  15. Philip Hamm

    Philip Hamm Lead Actor

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    Wow I only wish I were that good!
     
  16. BrianW

    BrianW Cinematographer

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    I'm embarrassed to say it, but I usually play in the 120's, too.

    It's that dang windmill on the seventh hole! It blocks me every time!
     
  17. Julian Reville

    Julian Reville Screenwriter

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    I haven't played in a long time [​IMG] but I still remember the one time I broke a hundred. [​IMG]
     
  18. brentl

    brentl Cinematographer

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    Scott; Sometimes I wonder about that too. Thge 3 guys I golf with have been my closest friends for almost 15 years. We fool around a lot on the course, and on occasion somebody won't know when to shutup.
    Brent
    me included[​IMG]
     
  19. Paul Bond

    Paul Bond Stunt Coordinator

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    Gosh Drew. Did you once shoot in the 80's?

    May I touch your clubs?

    Better yet, may I HAVE your clubs? Maybe they'll improve my game.
     
  20. Darren H

    Darren H Second Unit

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