Yet another relationship question Ver.65884781

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Jeff Rogers, Sep 21, 2002.

  1. Jeff Rogers

    Jeff Rogers Second Unit

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    Ok. I have dated girls. Many girls. Nothing really amounted to much over the years...
    I met what I consider to be a really great girl that I think the world of...
    We have been dating for about 2 months now...
    She asks me today what I was looking for from her.. what do I want out of the relationship
    My questions is...
    I am near crazy over her... I would ssume she is the same way about me.. When girls ask this..is it ususally b/c thay are head over heels with a guy and want re-assurance to see if they are on the same page.... OR they want to see other guys and want make sure you aren't obsessed with them first...
    Any help would be greatly appreciated.. [​IMG]
     
  2. Alex Spindler

    Alex Spindler Producer

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    Jeff, I think thats the kind of secret stuff they hide from us.
    If I had to guess, she is trying to determine how much to invest in the relationship. If you're noncommittal, she might decide to just keep it casual. If you're more enthusiastic, she might decide to let herself get more involved.
    Of course, I am talking out of my butt here, so take this with a grain of salt and many more opinions.
     
  3. Jeff Rogers

    Jeff Rogers Second Unit

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    I AM commital..more the reason that I am confused..

    I have told her before that I want to be with her..and only her.

    Dem women.. confusing..
     
  4. Cees Alons

    Cees Alons Moderator
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    Jeff,

    Life is no tricks. Just tell her the truth, how you feel about her. No lies, no nonsense. Just the truth. You'll hate yourself later if you don't.

    Choose a proper moment and tell her. She will tell you how she feels. You both will be happier persons in the end.

    It's rather simple, actually.

    Cees
     
  5. Thi Them

    Thi Them Producer

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    Did you give an answer to her question?

    ~T
     
  6. Jeff Rogers

    Jeff Rogers Second Unit

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    ARRFG [​IMG]
    I was all ready to, and she called and told me she was going to pick up her friend first!
    So I will have to wait until later tonight. I want to do it in person. [​IMG]
     
  7. Max Leung

    Max Leung Producer

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    Whew, for a sec it sounded to me as if she was dumping you for one of her friends. :b
     
  8. Dan Keefe

    Dan Keefe Second Unit

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    Jeff,
    Spill your guts lad...If she feels the same, your relationship will be a lot better. Not to rain on the parade, but the downside is if she doesn't feel the same way. If that is the case, at least both of you will know where the other stands...


    dan
     
  9. AllanN

    AllanN Supporting Actor

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    Other people have already hit the nail on the head, she either, wants to know if you are willing to commit to the relationship or she does not want to commit and is hoping you feel the same. Just be honest and tell her how you feel. If she feels the same way, great, best of luck to the both of you. If she does not feel the same way then good to find out now rather than after more months of just dating.
     
  10. Ryan Wright

    Ryan Wright Screenwriter

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  11. Ted Lee

    Ted Lee Lead Actor

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    as others have said, just be truthful.
    let her know you're crazy for her and that you hope she feels the same way. if she does, then you're all set. if not, then you know where you stand and can reevaluate as necessary.
    it's a gamble, but you're being honest.
    just ask her soon...i hate subscribing to threads like this and not knowing the result! [​IMG]
     
  12. Rain

    Rain Producer

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    Indeed the world would be a far better place if everyone were direct and honest. Games and "hints" serve no purpose they just annoy, confuse and frustrate.

    So I guess I'm agreeing with everyone else: Tell her how you feel!
     
  13. Dick

    Dick Producer
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    Rain, in a perfect world, no one would play games, and relationships would be straight-forward and people could get together easily and marriages would last forever. But for many thousands of reasons, our culture has made this impossible. "Games" are played for self-protection as well as for manipulation. People don't want to be hurt. We learn during childhood that we need to test people to make sure they won't screw us down the road (and this, unfortunately, is no guarantee...we frequently get screwed anyway). Jeff is experiencing what we all do. He is bemused, confused and utterly baffled by the opposite sex. Probably, signals that are right in front of his eyes are being misinterpreted, just as females find our signals nearly impossible to get a handle on. We all want to be loved, but the male rules and the female rules are often at odds and there is little that can be done except to understand this and muster extraordinary patience and, if the person is important enough to us, make allowances and bite the bullet for all it is worth. Not sell out, mind you - just be willing to compromise. Not as easy as it sounds, of course. The real key: talk. Getting past the games takes time and a willingness on the part of both partners to find the truths of a friendship. Lies might be exhanged and both parties believing them because they want so much to find true love, but ultimately, you will be judged upon what you do, not what you say. Geese, that was quite a diatribe! Sorry. It's just that I've been through this a few times, and there's nothing like experience.
     
  14. Dominik Droscher

    Dominik Droscher Supporting Actor

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  15. Jeff Rogers

    Jeff Rogers Second Unit

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    AN UPDATE!!!
    Well gentlemen, all said and done. And it went Beautiful!!!
    She picked up her friend and we went out to grab a drink or two.
    She seemed a little distraught during the course of the night, she was upset for some reason..and when we pulled in the drive-way where she ususally comes in for a bit...
    She said she wanted to go home.. (and she had the next day off??) I thought she was mad at me for some reason...
    And I said " WAIT! Before you go -- I have to tell you something "
    And I blurted it out...
    And all was good. I was honest, and it went as good as possibly could be! She said that she was seeking the exact same thing! She wants me around "forever"
    And she left the next morning by the way... :b
    Thanks guys. Mission Accompolished [​IMG]
     
  16. JamieD

    JamieD Supporting Actor

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  17. Ted Lee

    Ted Lee Lead Actor

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    jeff - you are truly THE MAN!!! [​IMG]
    congrats...my best wishes for and your new squeeze! [​IMG]
     
  18. Cees Alons

    Cees Alons Moderator
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    Great news, Jeff! Congratulations, both of you.
    And now...

    [Picard] Make it so! [/Picard off]


    Cees
     
  19. Rain

    Rain Producer

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    Sweet.
    I'm glad to hear someone somewhere is having some success with romance. [​IMG]
    Good luck!
     
  20. Max Leung

    Max Leung Producer

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    Mission accomplished! W00t and all that elite-speak.

    You guys bring a tear to my eye. *sniff* :b
     

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