World's Funniest Joke

Discussion in 'After Hours Lounge (Off Topic)' started by Peter Kim, Oct 3, 2002.

  1. Peter Kim

    Peter Kim Screenwriter

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    "A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
    "The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: 'My friend is dead! What can I do?'
    "The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: 'Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.'
    "There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: 'OK, now what?"'
    World's funniest joke found
     
  2. Mark C Sherman

    Mark C Sherman Second Unit

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    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  3. Chuck C

    Chuck C Cinematographer

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    lol [​IMG]
     
  4. Jay H

    Jay H Producer

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    What does that have to do with NJ? The joke as quoted in CNN is this:
     
  5. Daren Welsh

    Daren Welsh Supporting Actor

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    Seems the caller was in the waste management business [​IMG]
     
  6. Peter Kim

    Peter Kim Screenwriter

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    Yeah, like Darren said, the guy 'concerned' about his friend is Mafia, hailing from NJ. Makes it much funnier, since only someone of that order would be nonchalant about making sure his buddy was dead, followed by his concern with what to do next (with the body).
     
  7. Rob Gardiner

    Rob Gardiner Cinematographer

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    I thought the funniest joke in the world was supposed to have been developed by the Germans:
    There were two peanuts walking down the strossen and one was ... assaulted ... peanut. Heh heh heh.
    [​IMG]
     
  8. Bernhard

    Bernhard Stunt Coordinator

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    No, no... the funniest joke of the world was developed by the British during WWII. But beware, you could die laughing...
    Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

    [​IMG]
    *aaaagh*
     
  9. ThomasC

    ThomasC Lead Actor

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    i'm afraid i don't get the joke, bernhard...i tried reading it in german (took 4 years in middle and high school, got me nowhere), then tried translating it at http://www.systransoft.com, but still no luck. help, please?
     
  10. Adam Barratt

    Adam Barratt Cinematographer

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  11. Nigel McN

    Nigel McN Supporting Actor

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    Adam *cough*
    [​IMG]
    don't they mean "The most popular joke from the ones we put on our website and people who were aware of the vote and able to participate liked the best?"
     
  12. Dominik Droscher

    Dominik Droscher Supporting Actor

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  13. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

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    Well according to todays paper, the top joke in the UK is this....

    A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver looks and says "Thats the ugliest baby I've ever seen, ugh!"
    She sits down fuming and says to the person next to her, "The driver just insulted me!".
    He replies, "Go and tell him off, I'll hold your monkey."

    And the top joke in the US is this.....

    Two men are playing golf when one sees a funeral procession pass the course. He stops mid-swing, takes off his cap and prays. His friend says "Thats the most thoughtful thing I ever saw!".
    The first man replies, "Well we were married 35 years!"
     
  14. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

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    The top joke in Canada...

    When NASA first sent up astronauts into space they found that ballpoint pens don't work in zero gravity. Scientists spent 12 billion dollars developing a pen that worked in zero gravity, upside down, under water, and in freezing temperatures.
    The Russians used a pencil.....

    The top joke in Wales...

    A tortoise in New York is mugged by two snails. A cop asks him what happened, he replies "I don't know it happened so fast!"
     
  15. Dominik Droscher

    Dominik Droscher Supporting Actor

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    You will find all the top jokes of the different countries here. [​IMG]
    I love the Belgian top joke:
    Why do ducks have webbed feet?
    To stamp out fires.
    Why do elephants have flat feet?
    To stamp out burning ducks.

    The German one is also great:
    A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That's not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That's it.”
    But hey, I am german, so I love them all! [​IMG]
     
  16. Bernhard

    Bernhard Stunt Coordinator

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    Thomas,
    I suppose your're not familiar with the classic 'deadly joke skit' from Monty Python's flying circus, are you? [​IMG]
    Take a look here:
    Funniest joke in the world
    btw. even in german this joke is pure rubbish and doesn't really have any meaning... [​IMG]
     
  17. ThomasC

    ThomasC Lead Actor

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  18. MickeS

    MickeS Producer

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    I gotta say that the joke about the woman and the baby had me laughing out loud. [​IMG]
     
  19. Nick Sievers

    Nick Sievers Producer

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  20. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

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    The official "worlds funniest joke" was a groaner.
    I much prefer the 2nd funniest joke ever, which is an old classic..


    Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
    Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
    "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.
    "And what do you deduce from that?"
    Watson ponders for a minute.
    "Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
    Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot! Someone has stolen our tent!"

    And the worlds greatest chicken joke IMO is this golden oldie...

    A man was driving along a motorway when he noticed a chicken running alongside his car.
    He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him, as he was doing 50 mph.
    He accelerated to 60 mph, and the chicken was keeping pace.
    He sped up to 75 mph, and the chicken passed him.
    The man noticed that the chicken had three legs.
    So he followed the chicken down a road and ended up at a farm.
    He got out of his car and saw that all the chickens had three legs.
    He asked the farmer, "What's up with these chickens?"
    The farmer smiled. "Well, everybody likes chicken legs, so I bred a three-legged bird.I'm going to be a millionaire!".
    The man asked the farmer how they tasted.
    The farmer replied, "Don't know, I haven't caught one yet!"
     

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