What's the right age to give your kids the "Sex" talk?

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Brian Kissinger, Dec 16, 2001.

  1. Brian Kissinger

    Brian Kissinger Screenwriter

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    I got on this topic the other day, and with the more and more commonplace acceptance of younger people engaging in sexual activity, just when should you give your kids the "talk?" I'm not really looking forward to it, but don't want to wait too long. What do you think?
     
  2. Brad_W

    Brad_W Screenwriter

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    I would start showing them child-oriented books discussing sex at around 4 or 5 years of age. That way they can start getting the idea. Then at around 6 or 7 start talking about "the birds and the bees." Finally, around 9 or 10 is when you start to tell them how you feel and what you think is right or wrong. It should be a process, not just a lame one timer. No pun intended.

    That's my take.
     
  3. Bruce Hedtke

    Bruce Hedtke Cinematographer

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    I agree with Brad. You have probably 10 years to point your child in the right direction. In that time, there will opportunities to talk about and discuss situations that arise. Use the world to your advantage and show your child what is healthy or dangerous. If you don't, don't expect that by sitting the kid down when they are 11 or 12 and giving them the "big talk" is going to really sink in. They will have too many years of confusion resisting your advise.

    Bruce
     
  4. SteveGon

    SteveGon Executive Producer

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    My mom and dad never bothered having that talk with me. I was such a dork that they figured no girl would have me. So far, their prediction has been right on the mark... [​IMG]
     
  5. John Torrez

    John Torrez Second Unit

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    Don't feel bad Steve, my parents never talked to me about sex either. I just had to learn about it from the kids at school and other places.
     
  6. Chad Isaacs

    Chad Isaacs Supporting Actor

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    I say do it right after they get weighed in.It sure will save alot of awkardness when they get older.

    Actually,I have 2 kids myself and it totally depends on the kids.You have to consider alot of things but I once heard not to give the talk until they stop believing in Santa,Easter Bunny etc.Not sure why,I guess Once they reach that point they are ready for more truth and honesty in all things.

    As far as my kids,they are both special needs kids so it will be a while.
     
  7. Matthew Chmiel

    Matthew Chmiel Cinematographer

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    My parents still haven't given me the talk, but I have learned all about sex due to a great invention known as the internet [​IMG] (and I hear all about sex due to friends at school).
     
  8. JasenP

    JasenP Screenwriter

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    The moment they peek in your sock drawer and find your magazines that you "read for the articles" they are sure to have pleanty of questions.

    Seriously, 11 or 12 seems like a good age, unless they are asking questions sooner.
     
  9. Hugh Jackes

    Hugh Jackes Supporting Actor

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    That's a personal question with a different answer for every mom and dad (and kid). For my kids, I didn't have "a" sex talk. We've had a series of talks that increase in detail and maturity as they increase in maturity. Each builds on the info before.

    Even the answer to a 4-year-olds question, "Where did I come from?" can lead to some straight talk that sets a foundation for more information later. "You were created out of your mommy and my love for each other" is all that 4-year-old needs, but the foundation that:

    It takes 2 to make a baby;

    It's an act of love;

    It's something that people in love do.

    is invaluable for later talks.

    At the age of 13, my older son knows about the biology of the act and the possible consequences of casual sex. He understands about the diseases, and more tragically because it's more likely, the chances that he can create a child that will beyond his ability to father (or even ensure it's survival if the mother chooses abortion). He understands my values and, although he'll make his own choices, my values will color his choices. More importantly, I think that he feels comfortable talking to me about questions that he has.
     
  10. Brian Kissinger

    Brian Kissinger Screenwriter

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    I just wanted to thank everyone for their thoughtful comments. I guess there is no set age, but I feel my son may not quite be ready for the whole picture. We have talked some. I've been pretty frank with him since the passing of our daughter(his sister), and he has responded remarkably well. While I may not want to wait for him to come to me, I don't think he's ready at this time. Once again, thank you.
     
  11. Neil Joseph

    Neil Joseph Lead Actor

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    The earlier you start the easier. I would not just do a one time talk either. Like one of the earlier responses said, start young and keep it at a level they can understand, then as they get older, you keep it at a level they can relate to.
     
  12. Travis D

    Travis D Second Unit

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    I got one of those books for 4 year olds. Funniest damn thing you'll ever see. There are these two square machines and one has a hole and one has a spring.... I think I'll just leave it your imagination.
     

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