Wedding Present. Help! (1 Viewer)

[Citizen87645]

And in most Asian cultures it's all about the coin.

 

[Andrew W]

Those sources are worthless. They're the same one's that advise you to wear starched dress shirts with trashed out jeans. All fashion, no style.

It's tacky because if the amount is too little, the giver is labelled as cheap. If it's too much and the recievers fail to return an cash equivalent gift later for the cash givers wedding/baby shower/birthday, then hard feelings always develop. It's a no win situation.

It's far better to find something unique and not on the registry. That way, there's no price on your relationship.

 

[Andrew W]

Sure, and what's the social stigma associated with not giving the right amount? Yeah, thought so....

 

[Citizen87645]

Hey, I'm just stating a fact that it's not considered "tacky" but actually "respectful" or "thoughtful" in other cultures, despite what your opinion may be on the matter. Yeah, there's a social expectation, but it seems you would prefer to piss off alot of people just to prove a point against it.

 

[DanielKellmii]

My 2 cents....
If you can afford it, take a wild guess at the cost per plate of the wedding and give that. If you like them, give more. If you don't like them so much, give less. I like to do that because it is easy.

It the couple is already financially set, you could always make a donation in their name to a charity. I have been invited to weddings where the combined income was going to be 300K and they already had everything. It worked out well.

 

[MarkHastings]

Mental Note: If ever invited to a party at Andrew's, give a Chia-Pet and not the $50.

Seriously, those are some pretty harsh words to call people 'classless' because we give $$. Like, 75% of all wedding goers give $$.

 

[Scott_Sch]

Take this from someone who is getting married in a month and is footing the bill themselves....Money = good. Weddings are freakin expensive and I would much rather get some cash then "a unique gift that isn't on the registry". Now I'm not asking for cash and if someone wants to get us something thats not on the registry thats fine...but the last thing we want is some home made three foot diameter dreamcatcher or some ceramic statue of a cat that will collect dust in the closet.

Just my 2 cents...

 

[DanielKellmii]

Hmmmm, why buy something they don't want and don't need? That makes no sense. Especially if they are young and starting out.

 

[MarkHastings]

Agreed...If someone is going to be THAT critical of my gift, then screw them! I would hope that any of my friends would appreciate ANYTHING I gave them (as would I).

 

[Leila Dougan]

We'll just have to agree to disagree.

Three years ago at my wedding, I received numerous cash gifts. These were the BEST! I put them towards the downpayment for a house and lemme tell you, I appreciate it immensely. All of the "unique gifts not on the registry" ended up on eBay. Either they were totally not our style or completely useless.

I'll agree that it is tacky to ASK for cash on an invitation. Actually, it's tacky to include registry information on the invitation at all. Our parents knew we preferred cash so if someone asked, they'd tell them. But that is only if they asked -- no fishing for gifts here.

But one thing I learned from being a member of the www.weddingchannel.com forums for 3 years is to avoid the "T" word at all costs. The second someone mentions "tacky", all hell breaks loose.

 

[Jeff Gatie]

My younger brother was married around 14 years ago. His boss, an independently wealthy man, gave the happy couple a check for $2000. Anybody want to tell me what is tacky about that? The last two weddings I went to I gave $200 cash; I was there without a guest and I was neither family nor in the wedding party. Tacky? Anyone? Anyone?

I'm with Leila. Avoid saying tacky about something as general as gifts, especially in the same sentence as recommending something "unique and not on the registry". That recommendation reminds me of the one Christmas my sister asked me if I wore v-necks and/or the color pink. This was well before she had her shopping done. I answered "never in my life will I wear either", but my gift on Christmas morning was, you guessed it, a v-neck sweater and a pink shirt to go underneath.

 

[MarkHastings]

But they can always find out the price especially if the couple is (as you say) that materialistic.

 

[Greg_R]

A buddy of mine is getting married and he and his wife to be already own 99% of their desired household items. Their registry consists of items / hotels for their honeymoon (hotel in Paris, gift cert to fancy restaurant, museum tickets, etc., etc.). I thought it was an awesome idea... perhaps you can get them something for/on their honeymoon (and make sure they open it prior to leaving!).

Cash / gift certs are always welcomed by the bride/groom. The only people I've seen who have problems with cash is busy-body relatives who think they know better.

Yep, that Emily Post... constantly advocating a trashy lifestyle.