- Joined
- May 9, 2002
- Messages
- 13,058
- Real Name
- Cameron Yee
First a bit of background:
The past couple years my notions about forgiveness have been heavily challenged. Basically I made the decision to forgive someone for something but second guess myself when I remember what happened and feel angry and hurt. I don't have a constant desire to seek restitution or "payback" but then I don't have an interest in renewing the friendship either. Well, actually a part of me would really want to, but I find that I just can't make that step. I have tried, but it's like the weight of the events and the glaring truth of how things have changed just weighs everything down. I guess that's called "baggage."
So I'm curious about others' experiences with forgiveness, the challenges they've faced and what they have learned about it. I've learned that forgiveness does not necessarily restore trust or relationships and that forgetting is the hardest part of it. Previous things I believed about forgiveness that have been confirmed are forgiveness is a gift, an act of compassion, and can be the first step towards freedom. The thing is I wonder at times if I have rushed into it, forgiving when I wasn't ready to. But that basically reveals what I believed about forgiveness initially - that it's not an emotion, but a choice one makes. At times I wonder if forgiveness does not restore trust or relationships, then what's the point?
The past couple years my notions about forgiveness have been heavily challenged. Basically I made the decision to forgive someone for something but second guess myself when I remember what happened and feel angry and hurt. I don't have a constant desire to seek restitution or "payback" but then I don't have an interest in renewing the friendship either. Well, actually a part of me would really want to, but I find that I just can't make that step. I have tried, but it's like the weight of the events and the glaring truth of how things have changed just weighs everything down. I guess that's called "baggage."
So I'm curious about others' experiences with forgiveness, the challenges they've faced and what they have learned about it. I've learned that forgiveness does not necessarily restore trust or relationships and that forgetting is the hardest part of it. Previous things I believed about forgiveness that have been confirmed are forgiveness is a gift, an act of compassion, and can be the first step towards freedom. The thing is I wonder at times if I have rushed into it, forgiving when I wasn't ready to. But that basically reveals what I believed about forgiveness initially - that it's not an emotion, but a choice one makes. At times I wonder if forgiveness does not restore trust or relationships, then what's the point?