This Is Us (NBC) (2 Viewers)

[Adam Lenhardt]

I put off watching last week's episode because I knew it would be a bummer, and it was.

But I was braced for Jack Jr. getting his head scar through some horrific accident involving Toby's grill. And while I felt manipulated by the show's heavy foreshadowing with regard to a grill that played hardly any role in what went down, I liked what actually happened better than something really dramatic and harrowing.

Kids get away from their parents, and sometimes they do stupid things that result in stitches. If Kate and Toby's marriage was on stronger footing, this incident would have terrifying but not relationship ending. But what the whole incident did was highlight all of the fault lines and conflicts they were trying so hard to ignore: Kate and Toby want to live in different cities. They have fundamentally different perspectives on parenting, especially parenting a child with a visual impairment. Toby has been tackling his insecurities through self-improvement. Kate has been tackling her insecurities through self-acceptance.

So yes, Toby should have made sure the safety gate clicked. And Kate should have made sure the front door was locked. But their real problem is that they're too different and their visions for their future are too different.

Kate's whole life has been ruled by her struggles with her weight. And she doesn't want Jack's whole life to be ruled by his blindness. Toby's not wrong in pointing out that Jack has real limitations that need to be grappled with; not everything is going to have a work around.

At the same time, Kate's not wrong that Jack needs to learn independence and self-confidence. A toddler walking to the park alone is a horrible idea for all sorts of reasons, with any number of catastrophic outcomes possible or even likely. But the fact is, Jack made it there safely because Kate's orientation and mobility teaching worked. He had memorized the route, and knew how to listen for danger. He had a respect for the cars on the road that many kids much older than him wouldn't necessarily have. Toby is so focused on Jack's limitations, as a problem that needs to be fixed, that he can't see all of the things his son can do.

With regard to the Big Three closing ranks: I thought it was inappropriate for Kevin and Randall to interject themselves into the middle of Kate and Toby's fight. Their marriage is their business, and they need to work through it themselves. On the other hand, them rallying to Kate's side afterward was quite heartwarming, and especially Rebecca getting to see it happen, and how that linked back to the past storyline with the babysitter.

Rebecca making the connection between the mud boots and the park on one hand but being unable to remember the information on the intake paperwork on the other hand was a good touchstone for someone in the early stages of dementia. She's not an invalid yet, but the limitations are starting to creep in at the margins more and more. On the other hand, Kevin being able to fill out all of the paperwork about his nephew no problem speaks to how involved he is in his nephew's life. One of the fascinating things about the twin bond between Kate and Kevin is the way they've naturally gravitated toward helping each other raise their kids.

 

[JohnRice]

I put off watching last week's episode because I knew it would be a bummer, and it was.

But I was braced for Jack Jr. getting his head scar through some horrific accident involving Toby's grill. And while I felt manipulated by the show's heavy foreshadowing with regard to a grill that played hardly any role in what went down, I liked what actually happened better than something really dramatic and harrowing.

Kids get away from their parents, and sometimes they do stupid things that result in stitches. If Kate and Toby's marriage was on stronger footing, this incident would have terrifying but not relationship ending. But what the whole incident did was highlight all of the fault lines and conflicts they were trying so hard to ignore: Kate and Toby want to live in different cities. They have fundamentally different perspectives on parenting, especially parenting a child with a visual impairment. Toby has been tackling his insecurities through self-improvement. Kate has been tackling her insecurities through self-acceptance.

So yes, Toby should have made sure the safety gate clicked. And Kate should have made sure the front door was locked. But their real problem is that they're too different and their visions for their future are too different.

Kate's whole life has been ruled by her struggles with her weight. And she doesn't want Jack's whole life to be ruled by his blindness. Toby's not wrong in pointing out that Jack has real limitations that need to be grappled with; not everything is going to have a work around.

At the same time, Kate's not wrong that Jack needs to learn independence and self-confidence. A toddler walking to the park alone is a horrible idea for all sorts of reasons, with any number of catastrophic outcomes possible or even likely. But the fact is, Jack made it there safely because Kate's orientation and mobility teaching worked. He had memorized the route, and knew how to listen for danger. He had a respect for the cars on the road that many kids much older than him wouldn't necessarily have. Toby is so focused on Jack's limitations, as a problem that needs to be fixed, that he can't see all of the things his son can do.

With regard to the Big Three closing ranks: I thought it was inappropriate for Kevin and Randall to interject themselves into the middle of Kate and Toby's fight. Their marriage is their business, and they need to work through it themselves. On the other hand, them rallying to Kate's side afterward was quite heartwarming, and especially Rebecca getting to see it happen, and how that linked back to the past storyline with the babysitter.

Rebecca making the connection between the mud boots and the park on one hand but being unable to remember the information on the intake paperwork on the other hand was a good touchstone for someone in the early stages of dementia. She's not an invalid yet, but the limitations are starting to creep in at the margins more and more. On the other hand, Kevin being able to fill out all of the paperwork about his nephew no problem speaks to how involved he is in his nephew's life. One of the fascinating things about the twin bond between Kate and Kevin is the way they've naturally gravitated toward helping each other raise their kids.

Recognizing the difference in philosophies regarding Jack's upbringing, do you think Kate has crossed over into unreasonable, even self-obsessed and almost paranoid in her insecurity? She seems to be getting almost self destructive. Toby seems to at least be trying.

 

[Adam Lenhardt]

This episode was interesting structurally, telling the end of Kate and Toby's marriage in chronological order and Kate and Philip's courtship in reverse chronological order, with the two storylines meeting at the end with Kate and Toby signing their divorce papers. It reminded me a lot of The Last Five Years in that respect, except that of course was the story of the rise and fall of only one relationship.

There were some nice reminders, too, as we glimpsed highlights of the life Kate and Toby share after their divorce. I had forgotten that Hailey had been born on the same day as Kevin's twins, making them the "new Big Three" -- paralleled even with the two biological fraternal twins and the one adopted child.

It also seems that were going to be doing a lot of time jumping for the final run of episodes. If next week is Kate and Philip's wedding, then the bulk of that episode is going to be years ahead of the "present day" before this episode.

Recognizing the difference in philosophies regarding Jack's upbringing, do you think Kate has crossed over into unreasonable, even self-obsessed and almost paranoid in her insecurity? She seems to be getting almost self destructive. Toby seems to at least be trying.

I think their whole marriage was so toxic at that point that it was bringing out the worst in both of them. They were both walking on eggshells the entire time, and hypersensitive to any perceived slight or criticism from the other person. It's no coincidence that things didn't start to improve between them until they separated. They were trying so hard to make it work that they were suffocating one another.

Toby sacrificed the job he loved to try and save his marriage, and he resented Kate for making him do it, especially because he felt that the job he loved would have financed a higher standard of living for all of them and given Jack more options for navigating his visual impairment.

Kate parented without Toby for the crucial early months of their children's lives, and she resented Toby for making her do it alone. And because she considered herself an expert by that point, and Toby a novice, she wanted to hover over him and correct all of the mistakes she had to learn the hard way. She felt she was being helpful, but Toby felt constantly judged, and it fostered a sense of insecurity that infected his relationship with his children.

I appreciated the way the episode was bookmarked with two moments of genuine grace: Kate, having just divorced Toby, telling him that just because their marriage was over didn't mean their story was over. She could see a beautiful future that he wasn't able to conceive of in that moment, and despite everything they'd been through, she wanted that for him. And then, some years later, on Kate's wedding day, Toby is able to give that gift back to her. He understands at that point what he hadn't before. And he wants her to know it, because he wants her to move forward into the next chapter of her life without any guilt or sense of unfinished business.

And we do get to see it. Liberated from the microscope of Kate's helicopter parenting, he is able to genuinely bond with his children in a way he hadn't been able to during their marriage. He had to give up the job he loved in San Francisco, but he (somehow) finds a house in Los Angeles very much like the dream house he showed Kate in San Francisco. They work together to find ways to cushion the impact of their children ping ponging back and forth between two households.

We also got further insight into the future. We now know that Kate lives long enough to see Jack grow up and become a successful musician. The new Big Three were only preteens when Rebecca passed away, so Jack would have only been in his very early teens. So presumably Kate and Philip are on the way with Jack and Hailey. As bleak as things looked for Toby when he got the call about Rebecca, his life after Kate is not devoid of love and affection. He has, at the very least, a long-term girlfriend. Perhaps he doesn't meet her until after Rebecca passes away, however.

 

[Adam Lenhardt]

This week's episode was one of those puzzle box episodes the show likes to do from time to time, where it's more about the mechanics of the show's nonlinear storytelling than it is about the emotion the storytelling.

The bulk of the episode takes place three or four years in the future, about halfway between the birth of the new Big Three and the flash forwards to Rebecca's death bed. It's presumably why Randall and Beth's kids weren't seen at the wedding, because there's not a big enough time gap to recast. They could probably age up the actresses who play Deja and Tess with hair and makeup, but there's no way the girl who plays Annie could pull off looking like she's in her late teens. And only recasting one of them would have been weird.

And why the episode builds toward Rebecca's big musical number, it mostly passes the time with questions: What's wrong with Miguel? Is Randall in Congress already? Who did Kevin sleep with the night before?

That's less engaging for me than a story that makes me feel something.

As someone with aging parents, Randall's wedding toast did make me feel something -- even though it felt like a politician's speech more than a proud brother's speech.

Rebecca pulling off her big musical number was not at all surprising, but no less beautiful for its predictability. Nor is it necessarily magical TV writing; Tony Bennett performed two entire shows at Radio City Music Hall last summer despite being much further into Alzheimer's than Rebecca is when this episode takes place. Music works different parts of the brain than regular memory. And it was powerful how the original song incorporated musical themes from Siddhartha Khosla's score for the show over the past six seasons. That music has been lingering in the background for so many of the audience's memories with these characters, it's sort of beautiful that it had been lingering in the background of the Big Three's lives too.

Kate's new marriage isn't some great epic love story, but they make each other laugh and enjoy each other's companionship. Kate had enough of the grand gestures with Toby, so that Philip is in some ways the anti-Toby was probably a point in his favor when they first got together.

Now, with five episodes left to go, it looks like next week will solve the mystery of whose wedding ring Kevin is wearing in the flash forwards, and then the week after that is going to be a Miguel-centric episode. I don't think there's going to be a whole lot of filler from here on out.

 

[David Weicker]

I thought Rebecca's song was gut-wrenching/draining in such a beautiful way.

Similar to the revisits by Judy Garland (sit on the stage edge concert version of Over The Rainbow) and Joni Mitchell ('Love Actually' version of Both Sides Now)

And the Kevin/Rebecca walk as she drifted between Kevin and Jack was so sad (and so well done). You could see Kevin's heart breaking.

 

[Mike Frezon]

As someone with aging parents, Randall's wedding toast did make me feel something -- even though it felt like a politician's speech more than a proud brother's speech.

Amen, brother! I turned to Peg and said, "Randall just said a whole lotta nothing there!" (I get to hear emptiness like that daily during debates in the NYS Legislalture!) I was left to wonder if it was intentionally windy to emphasis Randall's US Senate win. If so, bad idea. So, probably not. Just an attempt at sentimental blather that didn't work for me.

Rebecca pulling off her big musical number was not at all surprising, but no less beautiful for its predictability.

I would think it would be hard to find someone to disagree with this. The thing that surprised me was that they didn't parallel her performance at Kate's wedding with the performance from years earlier at the restaurant with Jack. Sure, they interspersed the two...but never directly showed us that it was the same song she sang at the restaurant piano years earlier. I thought that might've been a nice touch. Those lyrics could have been differently interpreted (have different meanings) for people at different stages of their lives. After all, Jack & Rebecca were focused on how they were "stuck" in the routines of young parenthood at that time.

The writers really overdid the "will Rebeca be able to pull off the performance?" buildup to the moment, but it was still quite effective in its beauty and simplicity.

And the Kevin/Rebecca walk as she drifted between Kevin and Jack was so sad (and so well done). You could see Kevin's heart breaking.

Quite affecting.

 

[JohnRice]

My little bit to add is I seriously dislike the idea of Kate and Philip getting married. He was a raging asshole to Kate for quite some time. It makes no difference that she "won him over". Deep down, he's exactly how he treated her originally. He WILL revert to that, eventually. At least, in the real world that's how people are.

Also, the "who did Kevin sleep with" melodrama was beneath this show.

 

[Mike Frezon]

Also, the "who did Kevin sleep with" melodrama was beneath this show.

Agreed. And it'll be the centerpiece of this week's episode.

Even if well-handled, the interplay between Beth and Madison in the last episode felt wrong--like filler.

 

[JohnRice]

Agreed. And it'll be the centerpiece of this week's episode.

Even if well-handled, the interplay between Beth and Madison in the last episode felt wrong--like filler.

I've always felt that Cassidy and Kevin were probably the best match, for each other. He can lift her up and she can keep him grounded.

 

[JohnRice]

I will say, the one moment of that last episode that really struck me deeply was when...

Spoiler

Jack walked into the room at the wedding.

I found that to be extremely effective.

 

[Mike Frezon]

It's an interesting technique to bring the deceased Jack into "present-day" Pierson activities through the vehicle of Rebecca's illness.

 

[Adam Lenhardt]

I thought this week's episode was a much better episode than last week's.

Yes, there were the three women Kevin crossed paths with the day before the wedding, but the show didn't really play up the mystery aspect this week. It was pretty obvious pretty early on that it would be Sophie, and we were over halfway through the episode before the wedding singer or Cassidy even entered the picture.

The show has made a compelling case over these five seasons that Sophie is in fact the love of Kevin's life. And Justin Hartley and Alexandra Breckenridge have crazy chemistry together.

At the same time, Kevin is an alcoholic who broke her heart twice. Sophie would be crazy not to have some hesitation about wading back into those waters again. I liked that the episode gave her a chance to see Kevin as he is now, see that he's sober and more grounded and more responsible. And as for Kevin, he's good with whatever version of Sophie is available to him. And to his credit, he understood why she would have qualms given their track record.

We have four episode left, and next week appears to be Miguel's long-awaited standalone episode. Given that we know Kate is still alive at Rebecca's deathbed, I'm guessing that Miguel isn't.

I think it's right to end the series now, while the show is still potent. But this last run of episodes really does feel like a sprint toward the finish, with completely different pacing than the rest of the series that played out more or less in real time in all of the timelines.

It's an interesting technique to bring the deceased Jack into "present-day" Pierson activities through the vehicle of Rebecca's illness.

It's a classic symptom of certain kinds of dementia to not have a good sense of when "now" is, but it carries more weight on this show than others because this show hops around time so much.

Rebecca's conversation with Sophie, thinking she was talking to the Sophie who had just dumped Kevin, felt writerly -- her advice to then-Sophie being exactly what now-Sophie needed to hear -- but it also felt earned.

 

[JohnRice]

As much as I disliked last week's setup of the Kevin/Sophie thing, I guiltily enjoyed what they did with it. Melodramatic and downright sappy, but just nice to watch. It's true that as much of a complete screw-up as Kevin has been in his personal life, Sophie was his grand failure.

They've hinted at Randall becoming POTUS. Anyone think he will? Where are his girls during all this?

I know how I generally see the series wrapping up. I'm not saying, but we'll see if that's how it goes.

 

[Adam Lenhardt]

They've hinted at Randall becoming POTUS. Anyone think he will?

If he does, it isn't until after Rebecca passes away. Otherwise, we would have seen secret service accompanying him in the flash forwards.

Where are his girls during all this?

I got the sense that they were at the wedding, and we just didn't see them because they didn't want to have to cast actresses in between the now teenage girls in the 2022 scenes and the adult girls in the flash forwards to the death bed scenes.

 

[Adam Lenhardt]

The long awaited Miguel episode deftly filled in the gaps in Miguel's backstory while moving forward the story from where things were left after Kate's second wedding.

Lots of shows these days like to brag about being diverse behind the camera, but this is one show where it's truly essential. There is such a wide tapestry of characters from so many different backgrounds, with only this one family connecting them all, no one sort of writer is going to bring the culture and personal history necessary to represent all of those different voices. This week's episode leaned heavily into the show's Latino bench of talent, written by Jonny Gomez, who started as a writers' assistant in Season 3, with significant input from the episode's star, Jon Huertas, who grew up with a Puerto Rican father like Miguel. And Zetna Fuentes directed it. TV Guide has a good interview with Huertas about the episode.

Miguel's fall on the driveway in the snow being the beginning of the end for him felt painfully accurate. As we get older, each little injury has higher and higher stakes.

I found myself unexpectedly moved when Kevin sought out Miguel's son to let him know that Miguel was in failing health. And, while it was a bit of a Hollywood ending, it made me really happy to see that Miguel reconciled with his children and got to know his grandchildren before he passed.

Miguel's speech to the Big Three when they were trying to convince him that Rebecca needed 24-hour care was heartbreaking. Here is this guy who is outwardly so successful, and yet he looks back at his life and only sees all of the failures. Partly I think because of his bifurcated identity, between the little Puerto Rican boy who came to the mainland with his parents, his aunt, and basically just the clothes on their backs, and the young man who worked so hard to assimilate into mainstream American culture. But he wasn't able to heal his relationship with his father, his first marriage ended in divorce, his kids hated him for decades, and his stepkids only begrudgingly came around to him.

But he did right by Rebecca, and we see that in what follows. Even as he steps back from being Rebecca's primary caregiver, everybody involved respects his role as her husband and his experience managing her needs. Even Kevin reaching out to Miguel's son speaks volumes, given that he was the one of the Big Three most adamantly opposed to Rebecca and Miguel's relationship for years. Yes, Kevin knows what it's like to lose a parent without being able to say goodbye. But he also feels that Miguel deserves that reconciliation.

And the spreading of Miguel's ashes, with the Big Three accompanying Miguel's son and daughter to the places that were important to Miguel, really touched me.

With three episodes left, we're hurtling toward Rebecca's death. I've got to imagine that next week's episode will grapple with the fallout of Miguel's death. Rebecca made it very clear that she wanted Kate to take over if something should happen to Miguel. My sense is that Kevin will respect that, but Randall's first instinct will be to take over the way he wanted to in the first place. And I don't know whether Kate will be assertive enough to stand up for what their mother wanted.

 

[Mike Frezon]

With three episodes left, we're hurtling toward Rebecca's death. I've got to imagine that next week's episode will grapple with the fallout of Miguel's death. Rebecca made it very clear that she wanted Kate to take over if something should happen to Miguel. My sense is that Kevin will respect that, but Randall's first instinct will be to take over the way he wanted to in the first place. And I don't know whether Kate will be assertive enough to stand up for what their mother wanted.

It speaks to the impact of the drama that the core fan base cares so much about how this is going to play out. Shades of Parenthood.

I didn't think I was going to be that interested in last night's episode. Although I had been intrigued by how little we had been allowed to see of Miguel's life (outside of the Pearson universe) or learn much about him and his motivating characteristics...I figured it was simply a purposeful decision by the creative team. But I was moved by it and enjoyed it quite a lot.

 

[Adam Lenhardt]

It's hardly a new observation that the end of life and beginning of life mirror one another, with the roles of parent and child reversed, but it was still quite poignant to see some of the earliest scenes and latest scenes chronologically intercut like that.

While I correctly anticipated the core conflict of this episode -- as did Beth and Sophie! -- I didn't anticipate how beautifully it would be used to move each of the Big Three forward. It was a moment that played into each of their defining flaws: Randall's need to control everything, Kevin's defensiveness over being a screw up for so long, and Kate's lack of self-confidence. And to get to the right path forward, each of them had to grapple with their flaw and break their usual patterns.

And the result was a real give and take. Kate was a steadfast guardian of their mother's wishes and well-being, but she remained flexible as to how those wishes and well-being would be met. Randall had to trust that Kevin would step up and be able to shoulder this immense responsibility, and Kevin had to actually step up and do the shouldering.

I liked that when Kate was weighing her options, she called Toby for advice. Philip is her husband now, and he was steadfastly supportive through the whole thing, but Toby knows the Pearsons in a way that Philip hadn't had the opportunity to. And he's removed enough from the situation at this point that he can bring some objectivity.

I think I was most moved by the village that came together to care for Rebecca in her waning years. Kevin and Sophie were the most hands on with the day-to-day, but they weren't the only ones who uprooted their lives. Madison and her new husband moved east too, so that Nicky Jr. and Franny would have all of their parents in their lives on a regular basis. Uncle Nicky and his new wife relocated too.

Is it a little happily ever after? Sure. But the show did the groundwork to get us there. Nicky has been unemployed for years, and spent decades living in rural Pennsylvania already. His wife is presumably retired by this point, and her career as a flight attendant meant she probably didn't have any significant attachments to any place in particular. The series of time jumps these last handful of episodes meant that "The Manny" reboot could reach its natural conclusion with Kevin sticking out his commitment rather than acting impulsively. And with that show over, his primary remaining income stream (Big Three Construction) was near the house he built for his mother anyway. Madison is a stay-at-home mom, and her new husband kind of screams New Jersey. Randall's nebulously defined political career meant that he no longer had the ability to micromanage the way he once would have.

 

[David Weicker]

I am going to miss Adam's thoughtful recaps.

I wonder what will be next. We fortunately didn't have a long gap between Parenthood and This Is Us. But next season ???

 

[Mike Frezon]

I am going to miss Adam's thoughtful recaps.

Agreed.

I wonder what will be next. We fortunately didn't have a long gap between Parenthood and This Is Us. But next season ???

If nothing steps up, I was thinking it might be time to revisit Parenthood. It seems like that show aired a million years ago.

It's hardly a new observation that the end of life and beginning of life mirror one another, with the roles of parent and child reversed, but it was still quite poignant to see some of the earliest scenes and latest scenes chronologically intercut like that.

I couldn't help but think as we were weaving through the episode about how many wigs they must have on hand for Mandy Moore's Rebecca.

I remember thinking about how well we got to know the Bravermans--not unlike how well we got to know the personality quirks of the Pearsons. This is a rather ordinary tale of a rather ordinary family (which just happens to include brothers who became a US Senator and a TV/Movie star). But we feel like we get to know them (REALLY know them). Good job by all involved--especially the writers and actors.

I kinda wish they hadn't made Randall and Kevin so extraordinary in their careers, but it was definitely a way to put an exclamation point on their character flaws. And, in doing so, also emphasize Kate's.

 

[David Weicker]

Damn
Damn
Damn,

This was one of hardest to watch episodes of any show I've ever seen. Ever. I was bawling my eyes out for most of the hour. (as for tough, I saw MASH's Abyssinia, Henry live on its original broadcast, and that was a piece of cake compared to tonight).

Such a terrific, gut-wrenching, cathartic episode.

I lost it when

Spoiler

Gerald McRaney showed up. Such a fantastic bookend to the opening episode.

Everybody shined tonight.

I am going to miss this show.