Thinking about giving up my dog

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Jared_B, Mar 4, 2003.

  1. Jared_B

    Jared_B Supporting Actor

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    This is probably one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make. Since I kept the house after my divorce, it made the most sense that I kept our 10 month old golden retriever, Sadie (pics below). Although my ex-wife really wanted her, she moved into an apartment and wasn't ready to take her.

    Now I'm coming to realize that I just don't have enough time for Sadie. She's young and playful, full of energy, and needs constant attention and training. I recently started a new job, which will eventually require more and more of my time. I want the best for her, but I don't think I can provide that.

    Now my ex-wife is constantly bugging me about the dog, saying she'd find a way to keep her. I know that she truly wants her, and would take great care of her (even while living in an apartment). She's even talking about doggy-day-care during the day while she's at work. I think this would give Sadie some much needed exposure to other people and dogs. I would do it myself if I could afford it.

    Another part of me is telling myself to just give Sadie another year. She's really a well-mannered dog, just hi-strung. She doesn't do anything destructive in the house (although she's done a number to the back yard, but only because she gets bored), and she's pretty well trained. Once she matures a little, she'll calm down.

    Deep down, I'm pretty sure giving her up is the right move. The last thing I want is for her to end up fat and poorly trained. I also know it would make my ex-wife extremely happy to get her baby back.

    It's ... just ... so ... hard.

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  2. Ryan Wright

    Ryan Wright Screenwriter

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    Why not setup some sort of a visitation deal? You know, give her to your ex wife with the stipulation that you still get to play with her. I know it's not the same, but you could still take her to the park/etc...

    Whatever you do is up to you. At least she will be going to someone who really loves her. When I first read the title I assumed you were going to take her to the pound, and I was all set and ready to convince you otherwise. But in your situation, it sounds like the dog will have a happy home either way.
     
  3. Micheal

    Micheal Screenwriter

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    As long as she ends up in a loving home that's all that matters. She will calm down in another year or so but if you want what's best for her and can't provide her with that... let your ex take over.
     
  4. Paul Bond

    Paul Bond Stunt Coordinator

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    When my wife went through her divorce, she was in pretty much the same situation you are in (except reversed, of course). The difference is that the dog she had to leave behind was HERS. Kyrie was a Christmas puppy for Deb, but she was just too big to keep her in the apartment she moved into. She did finally get her and we had many happy years with her, so a happy ending.

    So the first thing you want to consider is, whose dog is it? And that should also be considered from the dog's point of view. With whom do you think the dog will be happiest?

    Next you both have to be honest and consider with whom will the dog be best cared for? You might not have as much time, but your wife might not have enough space and/or enough money for dog care.

    It sounds like the two of you get along well enough to work this out. She needs to be sure she is allowed to have that size dog in her apartment. Then perhaps the two of you can do a joint custody thing for a while until one or the other is capable of taking her full time.

    It's a tough decision, and nothing I can say will make it easier, but whatever you decide, it does sound like this dog will have a good loving home.
     
  5. Justin Lane

    Justin Lane Cinematographer

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  6. Ryan Wright

    Ryan Wright Screenwriter

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  7. Jared_B

    Jared_B Supporting Actor

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    I see your point Ryan (I think [​IMG] ).

    Her and I get along well enough most of the time, and she did offer to give me "visitation rights" to the dog, but we both know that won't last. Our situation is a bit complicated, and I can just see it getting more and more awkward over time. Her and I can be mature enough to handle the visitations, but I can't speak for anyone else who is involved.

    So it's not like I'll never see Sadie again, but I'm not counting on being able to see her on a regular basis.
     
  8. Patrick Larkin

    Patrick Larkin Screenwriter

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    If giving up a dog is even an option for you, you should do it. I could never give up my dog (except in an extreme circumstance). If you travel or are away from home 10-12 hours a day, its probably best to give up the dog. But if you work normal hours, there is nothing wrong with keeping a puppy in a crate while you are away. Any aged dog can be trained. And unless you work obscene hours, there is plenty of time for exercise.

    If your ex-wife works, the dog will end up fat, untrained, AND live in an apartment.
     

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