The Turnip presents: Ask a HTF member

Jeff Rogers

Second Unit
Joined
Aug 24, 2000
Messages
309
Welcome to issue 2 In the same vein as The Onion
Dear Home Theater Forum,
My name is Ricky. I am 13 years old and I go to my neighbors house all the time and play with his dog Ruffles. I like Ruffles, and Ruffles likes me. He likes me more than Tommy who is my friend. One day Ruffles ran away and I picked him up and put him in my basement and I didn't tell Tommy. Tommy keeps crying because he misses Ruffles. Should I give Ruffles back?
Love, Ricky.
Dear Ricky,
I can't believe that Lucas didn't put DTS on TPM dvd. He is such a turd!!! I will never buy another dvd from luca$ or any other movie maker that even has the same letters in their name as Lucas. And TPM sucked anyway. Did I mention that there is no DTS track on the dvd??!!!! I mean he acts like he's doing us a favor and then he smacks us in the teeth like this. DTS is the best. If it doesn't have DTS on it I'm gonna pee on it
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Dear Home Theater Forum,
There is this girl that I met while doing my laundry at the laundrymat. I talked to her for a while and she's pretty cute. But her b/f is a little bigger than me and could really kick my ass if he wanted to. Should I make the moves and worry about my safety ot play it safe?
sincerly, Chuck
Dear Chuck,
WARNER BROS CAN EAT MY SHIT!!....I can't believe the nerve of them!! Like,,,Willy Wonka is like my favorite movie and they have to release it in Pan & Scam gutter shit format! What the hell! I say OAR or NO SALE!!!! I mean we practically started the format and got it lifted off the ground and they dick slap us around like this!!
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If I could go back in time, I'd meet Snoopy
 

Jeff Rogers

Second Unit
Joined
Aug 24, 2000
Messages
309
Thanks for the kind words. Issue 3 coming soon!
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If I could go back in time, I'd meet Snoopy
 

Kevin Leonard

Supporting Actor
Joined
Mar 11, 2001
Messages
920

To quote The Simpsons, "It's funny because it's true."
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Have you ever noticed anyone driving slower than you is an idiot? And anyone driving faster than you is a maniac!! - George Carlin
ICQ: 55259446 (or just search for "John Shaft"...can you dig?)
 

Bruce Hedtke

Senior HTF Member
Joined
Jul 11, 1999
Messages
2,249
As he said...Issue 3 is coming soon.
Thanks for the laughs.
Bruce
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Welcome aboard the Satellite of Love
 

Jeff Rogers

Second Unit
Joined
Aug 24, 2000
Messages
309
Thanks Chris, us omahans have to stick together

Issue 3 coming tomorrow
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If I could go back in time, I'd meet Snoopy
 

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