The Top 10s Thread (1 Viewer)

[Paul_D]

I'll start the ball-rolling.
Top 10 childish ways to show DISrespect for someone.
10. While in a group conversation, purposely position yourself with your back to them.
9. Wipe your hand after shaking theirs.
8. Look at your watch while they're speaking.
7. Do not reply to direct questions.
6. Laugh uncontrolably at random things they say, especially jokes that AREN'T funny.
5. When they're not looking, tape a sign saying "Kick Me I'm Stupid" on their back.
4. When they enter the room tell them you take your coffee black with 2 sugars.
3. Tell them its refreshing to meet someone who doesn't care about how they present themselves.
2. Look them up and down, then up and down again, then smile.
1. After being introduced to Jack, say "It was nice to meet you Jerry."

 

[Jefferson]

And as they walk out your front door, scream "And stay out!"

 

[Steve Christou]

You know you're cracking up when...
1)Relatives that have been dead for years come visit you and suggest that you should get some rest.
2)You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
3)The Sun is too loud.
4)You can see individual air molecules vibrating.
5)You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly.
6)Things become "Very Clear."
7)You keep yelling "STOP TOUCHING ME!" even though you are the only one in the room.
8)You and Reality file for divorce.
9)You can skip without a rope.
10)It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.
11)You can travel without moving.
12)You start talking to yourself, then disagree about the subject, get into a nasty row over it, lose, and refuse to speak to yourself for the rest of the night.
13)You have an irresistible urge to bite the noses of the people you are talking to.
14)You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.

 

[Paul_D]

Top 10 Things a Dentist Might Say
10) Say Aaaa.
9) Can you see the boat. Stare harder at the picture. You'll see it.
8) Avoid sweets and sugary food.
7) Brush twice daily.
6) Do you like the pain? Do you like it?
5) You don't need to floss all your teeth. Just the ones you wanna keep. (thank you SS)
4) Drill pieces are so expensive. Damn, broken another one.
3) Open your mouth wide. Wider. No, open wider.
2) Nurse, bring me the head clamp and a pair of plyers.
1) Spit.

 

[Jeremy Stockwell]

To add to the first post:
Intentionally refer to someone by the wrong or mispronounced name; when they correct you reply, "Whatever"

 

[Chuck C]

Top Ten Things I Experience On The Grounds Crew At A Public Golf Course
10. Deer Flies
9. Annoying Old Ladies At The Snack Bar (I said NO cheese Betty!)
8. Unclear Directions From The Boss
7. Scalped Greens
6. Ball Busting Golfers ("Hey, when are you bringing out the beer?!")
5. Broken Cushmans
4. A Mechanic With Abnormally Large Forearms
3. Spraying Golfers With Fairway Spriklers Accidentally
2. Tees With More Divots Than Grass
1. Ball Hocking