The 'ol Ball & Chain is actin up again

Discussion in 'After Hours Lounge (Off Topic)' started by Scott L, Jul 27, 2004.

  1. Scott L

    Scott L Producer

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    One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't Feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

    I said "WHAT???!!! What is that?!"

    So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a Woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.



    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big Unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let's get a pair for each outfit. We went to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of Diamond earrings.

    Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

    I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurt out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT??!!!"

    I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly over a frozen hell. But, it was worth it. [​IMG]
     
  2. Philip_G

    Philip_G Producer

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    [​IMG]

    I don't think this one will be around long friend.
     
  3. John Watson

    John Watson Screenwriter

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    Sounds like one of those Internet jokes that come around again and again.

    Usually sent by the same person who sent it to me the year before.
     
  4. Scott L

    Scott L Producer

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    @Phil oh I was thinking that but thought it was worth it [​IMG]

    I pulled it from another forum's OT section, gave me a chuckle!
     
  5. Cameron Yee

    Cameron Yee Executive Producer
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    Just when I was putting on my unsolicited advice hat! [​IMG]
     
  6. Mike Broadman

    Mike Broadman Producer

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    Hah!

    Well, I've never read this before, so thanks. Funny stuff.

    Ugh, marriage *shudder*
     
  7. Garrett Lundy

    Garrett Lundy Producer

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    [​IMG] The Mountain Dew came out my nose! [​IMG]
     
  8. Tony Whalen

    Tony Whalen Producer

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    I see your Mountain Dew, and raise it a hot cup o' coffee. [​IMG]
     

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