The official ninja website (humor) (1 Viewer)

[Liam S]

The Official Ninja Website
Warning: This site is so incredibly stupid that it should not be taken seriously and hopefully you'll find it funny.

 

[ChrisV]

That is hilarious!! I love the internet.

 

[Joe_C]

God, I feel like such an immature little kid right now. At first, I was trying to maintain some semblance of maturity, but after a few minutes the sheer inanity of the site took over and I've been laughing ever since.
Read the scripts, please! My favorite excerpt, from Ninja Babe:

Dark smoke fills the scene and pump up music slowly gets louder. The audience sees a ninja and his girlfriend eating at a super expensive restaurant. The girlfriend is so hot that steam is coming out of her mouth or hair. Some old idiot is sitting by the couple. The idiot is giving the girlfriend "the eye" and popping like 16 boners. But the ninja sees the boners and the music really pumps up. The audience knows this guy is dead meat for sure. But out of nowhere, the old idiot pulls off his jacket to show that he is a pirate with lasers and everything. The ninja is like yeah right who cares and then pops the biggest boner ever, bigger than the biggest blackest boner alive. The ninja's boner smashes the entire restaurant. Every single one of the pirate's boners explodes while making a whistling sound. The ninja looks back at his girlfriend. She smiles and they pork.

Classic...if you have a 10 year-old's sense of humor - like me

 

[Joe_C]

Whoops, double post.

 

[Rob Longmore]

love the ninja music!

 

[Jay H]

What makes them so "official"???

Read the guestbook, it's about as funny as the webpage, and the topper is the letter he writes to people who pick on him in the guestbook. We have a winnah!!
Jay

 

[Artur Meinild]

How can a page be so lame and so cool at the same time???

 

[Shayne Lebrun]

http://www.ninjaburger.com is cooler.

 

[Darren H]

"Just like other mammals, ninjas can be mean OR totally awesome."

Man, that is good comedy.

 

[DaveF]

You people and your dishonorable ninja websites. I've lost precious time examining the NinjaBurger site. And my laughing nearly revealed my hidden location to those who would slay me.
Cursed fools!

 

[MickeS]

Scene 1:
Ninjas walk down street to go eat some food. Ninjas are all wearing black and looking totally sweet. There is some awesome music playing in the background to get the audience really pumped. Then some dude jumps out of nowhere. The ninjas start beating this guy’s ass bad. Then the dude starts trying to run away, but one ninja pulls out a ninja star (ninja weapon) and throws it at the dude. The ninja star cuts the guy’s head totally off. The head rolls over near this old dog that looks at the head and barfs all over the place, including the camera, which is awesome. The ninjas then start flying and everybody starts screaming. Then the scene ends.
Scene 2:
A ninja is sleeping at his house. Some idiot walks by singing a super annoying song. Then the ninja wakes up super pissed and ready to rock. The guy just keeps walking and singing, while the ninja starts cutting down a building. When the guy walks by the building, it falls on him. (When the building is falling, a guitar will be wailing hard in the background.) There will be a close up of the dude’s feet sticking out from under the building. The feet explode all over the place, because of blood pressure. Then we see that the ninja was playing the guitar. Then the ninja starts flipping out hard and totally wails on the guitar. Then all these babes start coming out of nowhere and ninja starts wailing even harder (if that’s even possible). Then the camera starts fading out and then explodes.
END
-I thought of this script one night right before bedtime. I got so pumped I almost kicked my mom right in the face!

/Mike

 

[Brian Kissinger]

I laughed so damn hard I almost peed myself. Good thing no ninjas were around, cause everyone knows that peeing yourself makes ninjas flip out.
Seriously funny site

 

[Scott Hayes]

I was laughing so hard that he upstairs neighbor told me to be quiet. Naturaly being an official ninja I had to flip out and chop the heads off of everyone in my town

 

[Leroy]

I had to get up and get a drink of water before I fell out of my chair laughing
I haven't laughed so hard since, well, maybe ever!!

 

[Scott_G]

I can't believe it .... I'm scared to go outside !!
I might fart and get my ass chopped off :frowning:

 

[Scott Hayes]

Read the ninja cash section. Under the ninja scholarship link they want a picture of a ninja in action. They'll take a picture from anyone. read how they wont discriminate against anyone. I quote: "The Ninja Scholorship does not discriminate against anybody (regarding race, religion, social status, poop size..."
This is just too funny. I am glad they wont chop me up for having too small a poop

 

[Joel C]

So funny I nearly wailed on my guitar and exploded. But I can't hear the music! Can someone post a link right to the file extension?

 

[Everlasting Gobstopper]

love the ninja music!

It's Big Pimpin'.

 

[Walt Riarson]

A few of my personal favorite quotes from the page...

"Ninjas are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact. Ninjas are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can't wait to start yoga next year. I love ninjas with all of my body (including my pee pee)."

"I thought of this script one night right before bedtime. I got so pumped I almost kicked my mom right in the face!"

"The head rolls over near this old dog that looks at the head and barfs all over the place, including the camera, which is awesome. The ninjas then start flying and everybody starts screaming. Then the scene ends."

"Most of their free time is spent flying, but sometime they stab."

"Then the ninja wakes up super pissed and ready to rock."

"Every time the ninja woman kicks nuts, a guitar squeals hard."

"While writing this script, I head-butt my dog so hard that we both screamed."

"By flipping out, I mean really really flipping out. And no pornography--ninjas are tubular, but not that tubular."

"Ninja Thoughts:

What makes a good ninja sighting is total sweetness. A hot sighting is a picture of a ninja REALLY flipping out: surfing on a school bus, flipping over a Thanksgiving dinner table while a family screams, or simply eating a cat."

 

[Drew Bethel]

I'm gonna book mark this site...any time I'm having a bad day I'll go check it out!