The next Star Wars movie will be influenced by this... (1 Viewer)

[Eric_L]

Who needs violence when Ghyslain and his parents can hire and attorney who can beat up your attorney?

Is that any less mature?

The real sad part here is that Ghyslain had an enviable opportunity to capitalize on his misfortune. Instead of lemonaide he is just throwing the lemons back, er, having an attorney do that for him.

 

[Ted Lee]

max's experience struck a chord with me. i wasn't really bullied that much (i was actually one of the popular kids) but the few times i did get into it, i attacked with a crazy ferocity. i mean, people were shocked at the way i behaved.

one time i reached across a workshop table, grabbed the kid by the head, slammed it into the table a few times, then proceeded to jump onto the table and started punching him on the back while holding his head down. and i was a super-skinny kid...

the kid never knew what hit him. he *never* bothered me again. heck, i don't think anyone bothered me again after that. you know the kicker to that story? the teacher never even sent me to the office - because he knew what prompted that behavior. as a matter of fact, i think he called the kid a dumb-ass...or something.

was it sensible behavior? of course not. but when you're a kid logic doesn't really apply. all you care about is what your friends think? peer pressure can truly rule your world as a kid.

bullies believe they are better than you. your only hope is to prove them wrong. unfortunately, that usually means physical violence.

but, really i think we're confusing two things here. the four kids never really "attacked" the kid in any physical way right? they just released this video.

it's true that it's caused quite a sensation, but i think the parents are taking this too far. unfortunately, being a parent myself, i can kind of see why they would want to do this. they're just trying to "protect" their son ... it may be the only thing they believe makes sense. how would you feel if your child was suffering such huge psychological trauma - you'd be horrified.

i do hope this kid makes it through all this in one piece. i don't envy him one bit. hopefully in 10 years or so he'll laugh about this.

finally, to quote a depeche mode song:

But before you come to any conclusions
Try walking in my shoes
Try walking in my shoes
You'll stumble in my footsteps

 

[Matthew_Millheiser]

I'd love to live in a world where you wouldn't need violence to stand up to bullies, but unfortunately that world is slightly to the left of Earth-X. (Was that the one with the Shazam Family or Uncle Sam and the Freedom Fighters?)

From my experience, all I recall is that standing up to the bully usually ends the problem, even if you get your ass whooped. If you fight back, its extremely unlikely that they'll bother you again -- you're too much of a pain-in-the-ass.

I generally tell kids if they get picked on, too fight back and fight dirty. Forget any so-called bullshit rules about "rules of conduct" or "cheap shots." Bite, crush their groin, gouge the eyes, whatever. When people see you in a rage, and see that you will use whatever means necessary to defend yourself, they will NOT mess with you again.

Who is the bully going to mess with? The kid who cowers and acquiesces, the kid who tries to walk away, or the kid who he knows will hand it right back?

I was lucky: I was 6' by the time I was 12 (I grew nearly 8 inches in a six month period). But for years before that, I remember being short, chubby, brainy: a total target. Nightmare. The harassment only ended when I stood up to the main bully. He pretty much whupped me, but not without enduring some damage (bloody nose, bruises, etc.). After that the harassment ended literally overnight.

Yeah its barbaric, but there's a reason those moutain goats are butting heads on top of the mountain. Nature, I suppose.

 

[Micheal]

one time i reached across a workshop table, grabbed the kid by the head, slammed it into the table a few times, then proceeded to jump onto the table and started punching him on the back while holding his head down.

What if... by accident, you seriously injured that kid. I guess it was his fault for being a bully and he deserved it right? What your teacher did was nothing. Had he done something about the bully before your incident it may have never had to come to blows. I've seen a teacher publicly put a bully in his place (without violence) and the bully didn't bother anyone ever again. Not just the kid that the bully was picking on at that moment. He changed the bullies attitude so completely that he never picked on anyone again. That's doing something a little more constructive than calling a kid a "dumb ass".

BTW, I'm not even talking about Gyhslain. I think much of this thread has delved away from a kid who was videotaped in (what he thought) was a private moment.

 

[Ted Lee]

michael -

i get what you're saying and i agree completely. the point is, i was a kid. kid's done think! like i said, it wasn't sensible behavior, but it is what it is. and it worked...

 

[Micheal]

No problem Ted! I was picking on your teacher for what he allowed to happen during his supervision. Kids are kids, I understand that. It's up to the adults to set the standard.

I just don't like what I'm hearing from some of the adults in this thread. This of course is just my opinion. I'm sure that most of them disagree with what I'm saying as well.

 

[Ted Lee]

and that's what makes this forum a fun place to hang out!

 

[Micheal]

like i said, it wasn't sensible behavior, but it is what it is. and it worked...

One last thing. (and no, I'm not trying to pick on you. ) How did it work? It worked for you but I'm sure that the bully moved on to the next weaker victim. Hardly a triumph or reasonable solution IMHO.

 

[Micheal]

and that's what makes this forum a fun place to hang out!

I agree completely.

 

[Ted Lee]

lol. no problem michael.

i guess it worked out in a couple of ways.

1. he left me alone
2. it sort of "garnered" me some notoriety with my peers. and, as a kid, that was just what i needed to boost my confidence and self-esteem.

of course, as a kid, i could have cared even less about who that bully's next victim was. talk about out of sight, out of mind...

 

[Jeff Kleist]

What your teacher did was nothing. Had he done something about the bully before your incident it may have never had to come to blows

But they don't. I had one kid who I was on approximately year 4 of the problems with him. He would lie and say I beat him up and get me suspended. I tried to settle it outside of school, he would never show. They figured because he was severely learning disabled that he would never be so trickey as to come up with these little schemes. I went and told the Vice Principal "This is strike one, at 3 I'm going to beat the crap out of Tom. This is my request for you to please make him stop"

Strike 2

Striek 3- "....the next time I'm going to mop the floor with him. Please make him stop"

Guess who got suspended?

What I should have done was get him to sign a paper that he acknowleged it and got the secretary to witness it. Of course that's the adult in me. I never even got to mop the floor with him beyond the first few punches. A year or so later he got me suspended for 4 days because of one of his lies, so I waited in his bushes and made him pay, and pay hard. Know what? The blood and bruises taught him to leave me alone, and that there were consequences to his actions.

He got hit by a car 3 years later and killed, and no, I really don't feel that bad about it.

 

[Holadem]

Let me guess, it was a hit and run.

--
Holadem

 

[Micheal]

Let me guess, it was a hit and run.

I'm sorry but this made me laugh so hard.:b
Of course it's not true right?

 

[Jeff Kleist]

Let me guess, it was a hit and run.

I dunno, I wasn't living in the area when it happened, heard about it third hand. And no, I didn't own a car until 2 years later

He paid the price when I got him, I could care less about him after that, since he left me alone.

It's odd, our school was "death school" with at least 1 senseless death a year. Thinking about the HS "enemies list" 2 are dead, one's in jail, and one's in an insane asylum for trying to stab and then flambe his father with gasoline.

And his parents always told me _I_ was the problem

 

[MikeAlletto]

The fact is that violence solves some problems. You just need to know when to take it to that level. As a kid you don't really have those lessons yet so you just mimic what you see other kids doing.

they're just trying to "protect" their son

They are acting on their emotion instead of logically thinking out the situation. You would think that since there are 2 parents that the mother would be the emotional one that wants to sue the pants off everyone and the father would be the rational one that sits the son down and talks to him about lifes little lessons. Obviously neither parent is wearing the pants in the family.

 

[Micheal]

The fact is that violence solves some problems.

We'll agree to disagree on this comment. In a perfect world violence would not be needed. I know, we don't live in a perfect world. Still, we're not going to get there with attitudes like this.

I'm going to try and teach my children that violence should only be used in a matter of self defense. Most intelligent individuals can make a bully look quite foolish without raising a finger. I've done it myself countless times.

 

[Jeff Kleist]

Michael, no matter how enlightened we can become personally, it's against human nature. Violence IS the answer in many childhood cases. You see the problem with making the bully look foolish is that 9 times out of 10 it enrages them further, and instead of a fist you'll get a baseball bat or worse

That's one of the reasons why martial arts are such a good thing for children. They emphasize discipline, focus, and when it is and is not appropriate to use what you have learned. I personally took Akido, Karate, Judo, some classes in Greco-Roman wrestling and even a few years back attended Afa the Wild Samoan's Backyard Wrestling seminar (designed to try to help keep those morons from hurting themselves too badly, Afa is one of the best prowrestling trainers in the country. Despite my size, I owe this training an amazing debt, it's why I've never broken a bone because I know how to fall from pretty much any position, and how to roll with a strike, be it from a fist, or the car that hit me when I was 13 on a bike.

I wish I didn't have to use it as often as I did. But when push came to shove, I was able to extract myself with minimal personal injury, control my strikes so as to cause severe pain but not injury, and THAT is the difference between civilized violence and random fisticuffs

 

[Morgan Jolley]

I've found that making myself look more intelligent than a bully or by embarassing them in front of others in a controlled environment (like during class somehow) usually pisses them off, but then they don't bug you for the fear that you'll do it again. And besides, people will remember if you embarass the bully more than if the bully kicks your ass.

This is all OT anyway. The kids in this situation were NOT bullies. They did something that reached MUCH farther than they had ever planned.

 

[Ricardo C]

I'd just like to go on record as saying I agree with jeff 100%

 

[Micheal]

I've found that making myself look more intelligent than a bully or by embarassing them in front of others in a controlled environment (like during class somehow) usually pisses them off, but then they don't bug you for the fear that you'll do it again. And besides, people will remember if you embarass the bully more than if the bully kicks your ass.

I agree!

I've had 100% success while using this method. Some people like to solve problems with violence, some use their brain. It's really easy to turn around and hit someone.

Nuff said.