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The Funniest Mixed Metaphor I've Ever Heard (1 Viewer)

Arthur S

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"The hand that rocked the cradle, kicked the bucket".

I heard this about 25 years ago and it has just stuck with me. There are plenty of amusing ones out there, but that one is just the cat's meow, the bee's knees, and takes the cake.
 

Bob Turnbull

Supporting Actor
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Dec 2, 2001
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A few months ago a co-worker said: "Shit or get off the horse".

After a brief pause, I followed up with: "Um, so if I stay on the horse does that mean I have to...?"
 

David Galindo

Screenwriter
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Mar 30, 2003
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My sister hears a bunch of metaphors she's never heard of before at work. So I told her next time to say randomly "Well, like they say- you don't pay a prostitute if your muffler's not working."

I cant wait to hear the results. :D
 

Dave Poehlman

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I usually throw out the "He's dumber than a sack of wet door knobs" around the office.

It makes absolutely no sense and usually leaves people stunned for a moment contemplating the purpose of a sack of wet doorknobs.
 

DaveF

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Ah, some good cromulent phrases. They embiggen my soul.

My past roommate (inadvertently) coined the term "malnutreated". A malnutreated person is in bad shape, indeed. I forget now just what words got clobbered into that one; nonethemore, it's part of my lexicon now. And if anyone challenges me on it, well, I'll burn that bridge when I get to it.
 

Carl Miller

Screenwriter
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Mar 17, 2002
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I use this one when I get a new employee and I have to explain procedures to them...Just to see if they're paying attention:

"It's not rocket surgery".

I also like:

"You're pulling my leg over my eyes".
 

Kevin T

Screenwriter
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Jul 12, 2001
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some of the weird ones i use are:

"f*&ked up like a football bat."

"you couldn't find your finger if you were pointing at it."

kevin t
 

BrianW

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I've heard, "We'll burn that bridge when we get to it."

Always remember, and never forget: Don't count your chicks in one basket.
 

Yee-Ming

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A thoroughly British term. What's even more curious to me is that if they say something is "bollocks", it's lousy, but if it's "the dog's bollocks", it's good.

I was once told in South America, they use the term "he was thrown the dead dog".
 

Lynda-Marie

Supporting Actor
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Jun 3, 2004
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My favorite is "It's Greek to me."

Not because I don't understand it, but because of the fallout over that particular little phrase.

My dad, who had immigrated from Czechoslovakia and joined the US Army, met and married my mom, an Army brat from Fort Benning, GA. Mom was a thoroughly Southern girl, with a million little "down home sayings" for just about anything that could possibly happen to someone. No matter how bizarre the situation, mom had it covered.

Two weeks after they were married, dad was transferred to Fort Lewis, in Washington State. Dad wanted to see his new country, and so they drove all the way - this was back in 1960.

To pass the time, they invented a game, wherein dad would read the road signs to mom, and explain what they meant. She would correct him on any mispronunciations or misinterpretations. It passed the time quickly, until they got to one that neither understood. Dad asked what the sign meant, and her response was, "It's Greek to me."

Dad was very confused, and asked, "What's the matter with the Greeks?"

It took her about 300 miles to explain that there was nothing wrong with the Greeks.
 

Bill Cowmeadow

Second Unit
Joined
May 5, 1999
Messages
404
Mum, also British, likes to say-

Bugger My Peter

I think it's a riot. especially when my son and daughter, both teens, asked me what it meant.
 

Yee-Ming

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Don't some refer to Chinese in the same way, i.e. it's all Chinese to me?

Which in my case would have a completely different meaning -- as no doubt it would for the likes of other HTFers/After Hours regulars like Danny Tse, Nick So, Ted "Superted" Lee... :D
 

Arthur S

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Joined
Jul 2, 1999
Messages
2,571
This is a real one I just saw:

"Of all the snake oil out there this has to take the cake."
 

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