The Funniest Mixed Metaphor I've Ever Heard

Discussion in 'After Hours Lounge (Off Topic)' started by Arthur S, Jun 21, 2005.

  1. Arthur S

    Arthur S Cinematographer

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    "The hand that rocked the cradle, kicked the bucket".

    I heard this about 25 years ago and it has just stuck with me. There are plenty of amusing ones out there, but that one is just the cat's meow, the bee's knees, and takes the cake.
     
  2. Bob Turnbull

    Bob Turnbull Supporting Actor

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    A few months ago a co-worker said: "Shit or get off the horse".

    After a brief pause, I followed up with: "Um, so if I stay on the horse does that mean I have to...?"
     
  3. David Galindo

    David Galindo Screenwriter

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    My sister hears a bunch of metaphors she's never heard of before at work. So I told her next time to say randomly "Well, like they say- you don't pay a prostitute if your muffler's not working."

    I cant wait to hear the results. [​IMG]
     
  4. Dave Poehlman

    Dave Poehlman Producer

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    I usually throw out the "He's dumber than a sack of wet door knobs" around the office.

    It makes absolutely no sense and usually leaves people stunned for a moment contemplating the purpose of a sack of wet doorknobs.
     
  5. Colton

    Colton Supporting Actor

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    My favorite:

    "Like killing a bird with two stones!"

    [​IMG]

    - Colton
     
  6. Bob Graz

    Bob Graz Supporting Actor

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    We'll jump off that bridge when we get to it.
     
  7. DaveF

    DaveF Moderator
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    Ah, some good cromulent phrases. They embiggen my soul.

    My past roommate (inadvertently) coined the term "malnutreated". A malnutreated person is in bad shape, indeed. I forget now just what words got clobbered into that one; nonethemore, it's part of my lexicon now. And if anyone challenges me on it, well, I'll burn that bridge when I get to it.
     
  8. Carl Miller

    Carl Miller Screenwriter

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    I use this one when I get a new employee and I have to explain procedures to them...Just to see if they're paying attention:

    "It's not rocket surgery".

    I also like:

    "You're pulling my leg over my eyes".
     
  9. Kevin T

    Kevin T Screenwriter

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    some of the weird ones i use are:

    "f*&ked up like a football bat."

    "you couldn't find your finger if you were pointing at it."

    kevin t
     
  10. BrianW

    BrianW Cinematographer

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    I've heard, "We'll burn that bridge when we get to it."

    Always remember, and never forget: Don't count your chicks in one basket.
     
  11. Yee-Ming

    Yee-Ming Producer

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    A thoroughly British term. What's even more curious to me is that if they say something is "bollocks", it's lousy, but if it's "the dog's bollocks", it's good.

    I was once told in South America, they use the term "he was thrown the dead dog".
     
  12. Philip_T

    Philip_T Supporting Actor

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    Quick! Don't just do something, Stand there.
     
  13. Lynda-Marie

    Lynda-Marie Supporting Actor

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    My favorite is "It's Greek to me."

    Not because I don't understand it, but because of the fallout over that particular little phrase.

    My dad, who had immigrated from Czechoslovakia and joined the US Army, met and married my mom, an Army brat from Fort Benning, GA. Mom was a thoroughly Southern girl, with a million little "down home sayings" for just about anything that could possibly happen to someone. No matter how bizarre the situation, mom had it covered.

    Two weeks after they were married, dad was transferred to Fort Lewis, in Washington State. Dad wanted to see his new country, and so they drove all the way - this was back in 1960.

    To pass the time, they invented a game, wherein dad would read the road signs to mom, and explain what they meant. She would correct him on any mispronunciations or misinterpretations. It passed the time quickly, until they got to one that neither understood. Dad asked what the sign meant, and her response was, "It's Greek to me."

    Dad was very confused, and asked, "What's the matter with the Greeks?"

    It took her about 300 miles to explain that there was nothing wrong with the Greeks.
     
  14. Bill Cowmeadow

    Bill Cowmeadow Second Unit

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    Mum, also British, likes to say-

    Bugger My Peter

    I think it's a riot. especially when my son and daughter, both teens, asked me what it meant.
     
  15. Yee-Ming

    Yee-Ming Producer

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    Don't some refer to Chinese in the same way, i.e. it's all Chinese to me?

    Which in my case would have a completely different meaning -- as no doubt it would for the likes of other HTFers/After Hours regulars like Danny Tse, Nick So, Ted "Superted" Lee... [​IMG]
     
  16. Mitch Stevens

    Mitch Stevens Supporting Actor

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    What does it mean? [​IMG]
     
  17. Arthur S

    Arthur S Cinematographer

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    This is a real one I just saw:

    "Of all the snake oil out there this has to take the cake."
     
  18. MarkHastings

    MarkHastings Executive Producer

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    "If you can't beat 'em...BEAT 'em!" [​IMG]
     
  19. Marvin

    Marvin Screenwriter

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    "That's like milking a dead horse."
     
  20. Mark Sherman

    Mark Sherman Supporting Actor

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    Wait....Listen.............YOU SMELL THAT?
     

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