Testy Area 51 (4 Viewers)

[ShaneJ]

Test

 

[Jack Briggs]

I can valk!

 

[Mike Frezon]

You can fly! You can fly! You can fly!

 

[Parker Clack]

Hello? Hello, Dimitri? Listen, I can't hear too well, do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little? Oh, that's much better. Yes. Fine, I can hear you now, Dimitri. Clear and plain and coming through fine. I'm coming through fine too, eh? Good, then. Well then as you say we're both coming through fine. Good. Well it's good that you're fine and I'm fine. I agree with you. It's great to be fine.

(laughs)

Now then Dimitri. You know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the bomb. The bomb, Dimitri. The hydrogen bomb. Well now what happened is, one of our base commanders, he had a sort of, well he went a little funny in the head. You know. Just a little... funny. And uh, he went and did a silly thing.

(listens)

Well, I'll tell you what he did, he ordered his planes... to attack your country.

(listens)

Well let me finish, Dimitri. Let me finish, Dimitri.

(listens)

Well, listen, how do you think I feel about it? Can you imagine how I feel about it, Dimitri? Why do you think I'm calling you? Just to say hello?

(listens)

Of course I like to speak to you. Of course I like to say hello. Not now, but any time, Dimitri. I'm just calling up to tell you something terrible has happened.

(listens)

It's a friendly call. Of course it's a friendly call. Listen, if it wasn't friendly, ... you probably wouldn't have even got it. They will not reach their targets for at least another hour.

(listens)

I am... I am positive, Dimitri. Listen, I've been all over this with your ambassador. It is not a trick.

(listens)

Well I'll tell you. We'd like to give your air staff a complete run down on the targets, the flight plans, and the defensive systems of the planes.

(listens)

Yes! I mean, if we're unable to recall the planes, then I'd say that, uh, well, we're just going to have to help you destroy them, Dimitri.

(listens)

I know they're our boys.

(listens)

Alright, well, listen... who should we call?

(listens)

Who should we call, Dimitri?

(listens)

The people...? Sorry, you faded away there.

(listens)

The People's Central Air Defense Headquarters. Where is that, Dimitri?

(listens)

In Omsk. Right. Yes.

(listens)

Oh, you'll call them first, will you?

(listens)

Uh huh. Listen, do you happen to have the phone number on you, Dimitri?

(listens)

What? I see, just ask for Omsk Information. I'm sorry too, Dimitri. I'm very sorry.

(listens)

Alright! You're sorrier than I am! But I am sorry as well. I am as sorry as you are, Dimitri. Don't say that you are more sorry than I am, because I am capable of being just as sorry as you are. So we're both sorry, alright?

 

[Steve Christou]

Well since we've all suddenly gone Kubrick, here's my contribution.
WARNING THE FOLLOWING MOVIE QUOTES NOT FOR THE FAINT-HEARTED
HARTMAN: Did your parents have any children that lived?
PYLE: Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN: I'll bet they regret that! You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece! What's your name, fatbody?
PYLE: Sir, Leonard Lawrence, sir!
HARTMAN: Lawrence? Lawrence, what, of Arabia?
PYLE: Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN: That name sounds like royalty! Are you royalty?
PYLE: Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN: Do you suck dicks?
PYLE: Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN: Bullshit! I'll bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose!
PYLE: Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN: I don't like the name Lawrence! Only faggots and sailors are called Lawrence! From now on you're Gomer Pyle!
PYLE: (grinning) Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN: Do you think I'm cute, Private Pyle? Do you think I'm funny?
PYLE: Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN: Then wipe that disgusting grin off your face!
PYLE: Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN: Well, any fucking time, sweetheart!
PYLE: Sir, I'm trying, sir.
HARTMAN: Private Pyle, I'm gonna give you three seconds--exactly three fucking seconds--to wipe that stupid-looking grin off your face, or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you! One! Two! Three!
PYLE: Sir, I can't help it, sir!
HARTMAN: Bullshit! Get on your knees, scumbag!
[Pyle gets on his knees.]
HARTMAN: Now choke yourself!
[Pyle places his hands around his throat as if to choke himself.]
HARTMAN: Goddamn it, with my hand, numbnuts!!
[Pyle reaches for Hartman's hand. Hartman jerks it away.]
HARTMAN: Don't pull my fucking hand over there! I said choke yourself!
Now lean forward and choke yourself!
[Pyle leans forward so that his neck rests in Hartman's open hand.]
[Hartman chokes Pyle.]
[Pyle gags and starts to turn red in the face.]
HARTMAN: Are you through grinning?
PYLE: (barely able to speak) Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN: Bullshit! I can't hear you!
PYLE: (gasping) Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN: Bullshit! I still can't hear you! Sound off like you got a pair!
PYLE: (gagging) Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN: That's enough! Get on your feet!
[Hartman releases Pyle's throat. Pyle gets to his feet, breathing heavily.]
HARTMAN: Private Pyle, you had best square your ass away and start shitting me Tiffany cuff links or I will definitely fuck you up!
PYLE: Sir, yes, sir!

 

[Holadem]

Dennis, YGM.

[EDIT]Ouch, sorry, make that PM, hence the need to notify you in case you are anything like me - I check mine every 6 months or so.

--

Holadem - Please resume your regularly scheduled thread.

 

[Mike Frezon]

Steve: here's some others.....
Things you would never know if it weren't for the movies...
It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
All beds have special L-shaped sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition--even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language, a German accent will do.
If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: ENTER PASSWORD NOW
Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.
Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective -or give him 48 hours to finish the job.
A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of Wembley Stadium.
Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of our visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.
Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any alien civilization.
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds--unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside
Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment and it is not necessary to listen to the complete bulletin.

 

[Steve Christou]

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

Heh heh, oui oui mon ami [bites into onion], aaah ze tower Eiffel is magnifique no?

"zank 'eaven for leedle girls, for leedle girls get bigger every day!"

ARTHUR: Hallo! Hallo!

GUARD: 'Allo! Who is zis?

ARTHUR: It is King Arthur, and these are the Knights of the Round Table.

Who's castle is this?

GUARD: Zis is the castle of my master, Guido Wommer!

ARTHUR: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.

GUARD: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen...

Uh, he's already got one, you see?

ARTHUR: What?

GALAHAD: He says they've already got one!

ARTHUR: Are you sure he's got one?

GUARD: Oh, yes, it's very nice-a (I told him we already got one)

ARTHUR: Well, um, can we come up and have a look?

GUARD: Of course not! You are English types-a!

ARTHUR: Well, what are you then?

GUARD: I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king!

GALAHAD: What are you doing in England?

GUARD: Mind your own business!

ARTHUR: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!

GUARD: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur-king, you and all your silly English kaniggets. Thppppt!

GALAHAD: What a strange person.

ARTHUR: Now look here, my good man!

GUARD: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed

animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

GALAHAD: Is there someone else up there we could talk to?

GUARD: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!

 

[Mike Frezon]

"...to smile and say.........."

 

[teapot2001]

From Gigi:

Thank heaven for little girls

for little girls get bigger every day!

Thank heaven for little girls

they grow up in the most delightful way!

Those little eyes so helpless and appealing

one day will flash and send you crashin' thru the ceilin'

Thank heaven for little girls

thank heaven for them all,

no matter where no matter who

for without them, what would little boys do?

Thank heaven... thank heaven...

Thank heaven for little girls!

~T

 

[Charles C]

How do I put in a quote?

How about this arial font?

Or maybe verdana?

In blue no less
[rant]a rant looks like this[/rant]
And to get to Charlotte's home page click here
Or I can do it in normal mode like this:
Click here for Charlotte's home page

 

[teapot2001]

"Thank heaven for little girls..."
~T

 

[Jefferson]

"every little breeze seems to whisper Louise"...

oh, that's Louise, not Gigi, but...speaking

of breezes and ill winds, they are getting cranky over there in that Atkins diet thread. I wonder why i even read it (reaching for more lard and carbs), it

really got me down, and mmmmm-mmm-mmmm-m-mmmmm(mouth full)

 

[Mike Frezon]

reaching for more lard and carbs

It IS, after all, Super Bowl Sunday! Lots of goodies at our house! Wings, chips, dip, salsa, mozzarella sticks, veggie and veggie dip, cheetos...
Plop, plop, fizz, fizz... :frowning:

 

[Steve Christou]

"My evil self is at that door and I have no power to stop it!"

Anyone? Bueller..Bueller..

 

[Julie K]

"Nor is it to be thought that man is either the oldest or the last of earth's masters, or that the common bulk of life and substance walks alone. The Old Ones were, the Old Ones are, and the Old Ones shall be. Not in the spaces we know, but between them, they walk serene and primal, undimensioned and to us unseen. Yog-Sothoth knows the gate. Yog-Sothoth is the gate. Yog-Sothoth is the key and guardian of the gate. Past, present, future, all are one in Yog-Sothoth. He knows where the Old Ones broke through of old, and where They shall break through again.

As a foulness shall ye know Them. Their hand is at your throats, yet ye see Them not; and Their habitation is even one with your guarded threshold. Yog-Sothoth is the key to the gate, whereby the spheres meet. Man rules now where They ruled once; They shall soon rule where man rules now. After summer is winter, after winter summer. They wait patient and potent, for here shall They reign again. "

 

[Mike Frezon]

Aaaaaaah. This Cthulhu stuff is a bunch of crap.

 

[Steve Christou]

Mike, Julie is probably right this minute entering your name into the Necronomicon, and the covers of this ancient tome are made of human skin, be afraid, be very afraid.

 

[Tony-B]

Sigy-testy.

 

[teapot2001]

"We'll beat any advertised price or your mattress is FREEEEEE!!!"

~T