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Steve Christou

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Hi Thi!!
Are you testing? Just being friendly? Missing this thread? All of the above?
Zapp Brannigan: We have failed to uphold Brannigan's Law. However I did make it with a hot alien babe. And in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars?
[pause]
Zapp Brannigan: Kif! I'm asking you a question!
[Kif groans.]
Fry : I know Big Vinnie said he was giving me the Kiss of Death,
but I still think he was gay.
Leela : Did he use his tongue?
Fry : A little.
 

Steve Christou

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Hi Thi, listen... A guy walks into a bar carrying a battered briefcase and orders a cold one. The bartender brings him a beer and says, "Hey pal, it's none of my business, but what do you have in the case?"

Without saying a word, the man opens the case and out pops a little man, about a foot high. He runs across the bar, jumps down to the floor, runs across the room to a piano in the corner, jumps up and begins to play. He is pounding out wonderful piano music, and people are peeking in from the street to see who this guy is. Pretty soon the bar is full of people and the bartender is doing better business than he has in years.

"Hey that guy is great," he says to the man with the case. "Where did you get him?" "I was in Egypt by the Great Pyramids," the man replies. "It was very hot so I leaned against the pyramid to rest. The stone block moved and I found a magic lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a genie appeared and said he would grant just one wish."

"That's incredible," said the bartender, "do you think it is still there?"

"Oh, it's still there," the man said, "but I have to warn you that when you make your wish, be sure to speak very slowly and clearly and enunciate each word."

"Well, it works, right?" said the bartender. "You got your wish didn't you?"

"Tell me," the man replied wearily, "do you really think I would wish for a twelve-inch pianist?"
 

Steve Christou

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Parker was that in response to my joke, a forum member, somebody stepping on your toe or testing out a new [rant]SCREAM[/rant] mode function thingy you have devised for us lowly plebs?;)
Question: What do you call a man with no arms or legs hiding in a bush?
Rustle
 

teapot2001

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Thi
That's hilarious. The guy wished for a 12-inch piano, and he received a pianist instead. LOL!

UH OH. MY BNOSE IS BLEEDING!!!!!!!!
 

Parker Clack

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No actually it is called primal screaming. It works well. Especially in a large crowd or in a locked sound proof closet. Your choice.

One will clear the room for you and the other well the room is already cleared so..........the bottom line is that you have a cleared out room. Nice. Nice. Nice.

Or is that Ni. Ni. Ni. ?

I am so confused!!

Well if you hold you thumb at the top of the page like this.......

What?

You won't get so confused....

We are in the chapel now. No one can hear us!

What?

I said we are in the chapel..

What did you say?

Ni!

It's a secret mission in uncharted space.

But I'm not dead!

Put down that pickle.

and remember. This is your Uncle Don saying good night!

Good night! We're off? Good. That ought to hold the little bastards.
 

teapot2001

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My nose is better now. The left nostril was bleeding, and it took about two minutes for it to stop. Now I have this red gunk in my nose. To pick or not to pick--that is the question.

Ooooh, I bought an air purifier last night. The air is so cleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaan now. I hope this helps with my allergies.

AHHHHCHOOOOO!

~T
 

Parker Clack

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Just once I would have liked to have heard Johnny Carson say to Ed McMahon...

"Jesus Christ Ed. It wouldn't be so bad but my eye's are burning!"

--Parker
 

Steve Christou

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Nu!
[rant]Testy! Testy! [/rant]
Klaatu Barada Nikto!
Sandra's 26th birthday coming up soon, I asked her what dvd she wanted,
she said Dirty Dancing [groan]...
I dedicate these quotes to the girl I love.....
CROWD: A witch! A witch! A witch! We've got a witch! A witch!
VILLAGER #1: We have found a witch, may we burn her?
CROWD: Burn her! Burn!
BEDEVERE: How do you know she is a witch?
VILLAGER #2: She looks like one.
BEDEVERE: Bring her forward.
WITCH: I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.
BEDEVERE: But you are dressed as one.
WITCH: They dressed me up like this.
CROWD: No, we didn't -- no.
WITCH: And this isn't my nose, it's a false one.
BEDEVERE: Well?
VILLAGER #1: Well, we did do the nose.
BEDEVERE: The nose?
VILLAGER #1: And the hat -- but she is a witch!
CROWD: Burn her! Witch! Witch! Burn her!
BEDEVERE: Did you dress her up like this?
CROWD: No, no... no ... yes. Yes, yes, a bit, a bit.
VILLAGER #1: She has got a wart.
BEDEVERE: What makes you think she is a witch?
VILLAGER #3: Well, she turned me into a newt!
BEDEVERE: A newt?
VILLAGER #3: .....I got better.
VILLAGER #2: Burn her anyway!
CROWD: Burn! Burn her!
BEDEVERE: Quiet, quiet. Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
CROWD: Are there? What are they?
BEDEVERE: Tell me, what do you do with witches?
VILLAGER #2: Burn!
CROWD: Burn, burn them up!
BEDEVERE: And what do you burn apart from witches?
VILLAGER #1: More witches!
VILLAGER #2: Wood!
BEDEVERE: So, why do witches burn?
[pause]
VILLAGER #3: B'... 'cause they're made of wood...?
BEDEVERE: Good!
CROWD: Oh yeah, yeah...
BEDEVERE: So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
VILLAGER #1: Build a bridge out of her.
BEDEVERE: Aah, but can you not also build bridges out of stone?
VILLAGER #2: Oh, yeah.
BEDEVERE: Does wood sink in water?
VILLAGER #1: No, no.
VILLAGER #2: It floats! It floats!
VILLAGER #1: Throw her into the pond!
CROWD: The pond!
BEDEVERE: What also floats in water?
VILLAGER #1: Bread!
VILLAGER #2: Apples!
VILLAGER #3: Very small rocks!
VILLAGER #1: Cider!
VILLAGER #2: Great gravy!
VILLAGER #1: Cherries!
VILLAGER #2: Mud!
VILLAGER #3: Churches -- churches!
VILLAGER #2: Lead -- lead!
ARTHUR: A duck!.
CROWD: Ooooh!.
BEDEVERE: Exactly! So, logically...,
VILLAGER #1: If... she.. weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood.
BEDEVERE: And therefore--?
VILLAGER #1: A witch!
BEDEVERE: We shall use my largest scales!
[yelling]
BEDEVERE: Right, remove the supports!
[whop]
[creak]
CROWD: A witch! A witch!
WITCH: It's a fair cop.
CROWD: Burn her! Burn her!
 

teapot2001

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What's wrong with Dirty Dancing? I love that movie. Everybody sing along:

Now I've had the time of my life

No, I never felt like this before

Yes, I swear, it's the truth

And I owe it all to you

'Cause I've had the time of my life

And I owe it all to you

I've been waiting for so long

Now I've finally found someone to stand by me

We saw the writing on the wall

As we felt this magical fantasy

Now with passion in our eyes

There's no way we could disguise it secretly

So we take each other's hand

'Cause we seem to understand the urgency

Just remember

You're the one thing I can't get enough of

So I'll tell you something, this could be love because

I've had the time of my life

No, I never felt this way before

Yes, I swear, it's the truth

And I owe it all to you

Hey baby

With my body and soul

I want you more than you'll ever know

So we'll just let it go

Don't be afraid to lose control, no

Yes, I know what's on your mind

When you say "stay with me tonight" (stay with me)

And remember

You're the one thing I can't get enough of

So I'll tell you something, this could be love because

I've had the time of my life

No, I never felt this way before

Yes, I swear (yes, I swear), it's the truth

And I owe it all to you

'Cause I've had the time of my life

And I searched through every open door (never felt this way)

Well right now all true

And I owe it all to you

Now I've (I've) had the time of my life

No, I never felt this way before (never felt this way)

Yes, I swear, it's the truth

And I owe it all to you

I've had the time of my life

No, I never felt this way before (never felt this way)

Yes, I swear, it's the truth (it's the truth)

And I owe it all to you

'Cause I've had the time of my life (I've had the time of my life)

I searched through every open door (did you do it, baby)

So right now (so did you, baby) all true (now)

And I owe it all to you

~T
 

Steve Christou

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Thi stop that!! I lost control and started clicking my fingers and swinging my hips as I was reading those lyrics (not easy when you're sitting down), anyway I'm fully recovered now and mercifully no one witnessed it.:eek:
 

Parker Clack

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Thi:

You forgot about Eric Carmen and Hungry Eyes.......

Everybody sit and sing along:

I've been meaning to tell you

I've got this feelin' that won't subside

I look at you and I fantasize

You're mine tonight

Now I've got you in my sights

With these hungry eyes

One look at you and I can't disguise

I've got hungry eyes

I feel the magic between you and I

I wanna hold you so hear me out

I wanna show you what love's all about

Darlin' tonight

Now I've got you in my sights

With these hungry eyes

One look at you and I can't disguise

I've got hungry eyes

I feel the magic between you and I

I've got hungry eyes

Now I've got you in my sights

With those hungry eyes

Now did I take you by surprise

I need you to see

This love was meant to be

(SOLO)

I've got hungry eyes

One look at you and I can't disguise

I've got hungry eyes

I feel the magic between you and I

I've got hungry eyes

Now I've got you in my sights

With those hungry eyes

Now did I take you by surprise

With my hungry eyes

I need...

Hungry eyes

Now I've got you in my sights

With my hungry eyes
 

Steve Christou

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[rant]Aaaarghhh![/rant]
Parker sorry just testing out the rant mode.;)
Okay time to fire back a volley, and guys try not to leap onto your desks and start waving your arms around, its undignified, get set.....GO!!!
Just a still town girl on a saturday night, lookin' for the fight of her life
In the real-time world no one sees her at all, they all say she's crazy
Locking rhythms to the beat of her heart, changing woman into life
She has danced into the danger zone, when a dancer becomes a dance
It can cut you like a knife, if the gift becomes the fire
On a wire between will and what will be
She's a maniac, maniac on the floor
And she's dancing like she's never danced before
She's a maniac, maniac on the floor
And she's dancing like she's never danced before
On the ice-build iron sanity is a place most never see
It's a hard warm place of mystery, touch it, but can't hold it
You work all your life for that moment in time, it could come or pass you by
It's a push of the world, but there's always a chance
If the hunger stays the night
There's a cold connective heat, struggling, stretching for defeat
Never stopping with her head against the wind
She's a maniac, maniac, I sure know
And she's dancing like she's never danced before
She's a maniac, maniac, I sure know
And she's dancing like she's never danced before
(Solo)
It can cut you like a knife, if the gift becomes the fire
On a wire between will and what will be
She's a maniac, maniac, I sure know
And she's dancing like she's never danced before
(repeats out)
 

teapot2001

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What happened to Dirty Dancing? Oh well, here we go:

First, when there's nothing but a slow glowing dream

That your fear seems to hide deep inside your mind

All alone I have cried silent tears full of pride

In a world made of steel, made of stone

Well I hear the music, close my eyes, feel the rhythm

Wrap around, take a hold of my heart

Chorus:

What a feeling, bein's believin'

I can't have it all, now I'm dancin' for my life

Take your passion, and make it happen

Pictures come alive, you can dance right through your life

(Solo)

Now I hear the music, close my eyes, I am rhythm

In a flash it takes hold of my heart

chorus (with ... "now I'm dancing through my life")

What a feeling

What a feeling (I am music now), bein's believin' (I am rhythm now)

Pictures come alive, you can dance right through your life

What a feeling (I can really have it all)

What a feeling (Pictures come alive when I call)

I can have it all (I can really have it all)

Have it all (Pictures come alive when I call)

(call, call, call, call, what a feeling) I can have it all

(Bein's believin') bein's believin'

(Take your passion, make it happen) make it happen

(What a feeling) what a feeling... (to fade)

~T
 

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