Taxi ride from hell

Discussion in 'After Hours Lounge (Off Topic)' started by Jay H, Jul 24, 2006.

  1. Jay H

    Jay H Producer

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    Any interesting taxi stories out there?

    After a whirlwind climbing trip out west (Whitney, Shasta, and Hood), a friend and I needed a ride from Newark to my home and got a taxi out of the taxi line at the airport (I tried to call a limo service (cheaper!) but the service I usually deal with was booked). Anyway, my friend and get on this taxi driven by a guy who was from Haiti (as I found out later and as I suspected by the heavy accent). Anyway, since he's never been to my town before (I live out in rural part of NJ, nowhere like Newark, NJ) I tell him how to get there.

    Well little do I know that this guy has some complete inability to drive at night. Why is this guy a taxi driver if he freaks out at night is beyond me. It is about 9:30pm on a saturday night and after getting off I-287 onto a county road, he is freaking out. Driving like 5mph (in a 40mph zone) and every time somebody comes the other way, he stops, puts on his right-turn blinkers and just panics. He's tell us in the back seat, I can't drive fast because it is black.

    I try to encourage him to a point, at one point offering to drive myself, but this guy is freaking out. We have 6 miles to go and it probably took us 45 minutes to go the 6 miles, all the meanwhile this guy is saying "this is a long way, your fare is too low".

    Eventually, after crawling to my house, I'm trying to pay him his fare + tip and all the meanwhile he is looking up his little book of fares... Looking up my hometown and mumbling to himself that the fare is too low. The taxi's fare is fixed, i.e. not metered so it's a flat rate based on the town. And he is refusing my money!!! I'm trying to pay him and he's giving my money back!!! I try to explain to him that if he thinks the fare is too low, that is an issue between him and his dispatcher, not me. I don't make the fare. He is rambling on about being Haitian and a minister and then complaining that I am white (which I am not!) and that he will pray for me or whatever!!!! Meanwhile, my friend is trying her hardest not to crack up, as we've already been on a wild trip from Portland, OR and trying to get home. Our flight was diverted to Allentown, PA due to the weather at newark so we had to endure 2 hours of boredome at Lehigh Valley International and then another 1.5 hour bus ride from there to Newark, we're already 5 hours past our scheduled arrival so we're tired and want to get home.

    This guy eventually takes our money and manages to crawl out into the darkness! Needlesstosay, I am awake for most of the night listening to cars going by and making sure this wacko doesn't return. Though with his driving ability at night (or lack thereof) I am sure he would never remember how to get back and in doing so, would take 20 years to drive here!!!! [​IMG]

    Jay
     
  2. TimmyH

    TimmyH Auditioning

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    My brother and I were in Vegas 2 years ago and had a memorable, if a bit scary, ride. We are outside a casino and get into the cab, within seconds the driver (sounded like an East Cost guy) starts talking a mile a minute, driving really fast, half the time watching the road the rest looking at us over the seat. He's bitching about being a cab driver, having to work in Vegas, telling jokes; very "hyped up on something behavior". Then, while speeding about 60 mph on those long blocks behind the strip casinos, he starts telling us his dream of Nascar driving, where upon he starts using the on-column automatic shifter like a manual. He's also having to stomp on the brakes, swerve around slower (saner) moving traffic, and complaining about every other driver in town. After about 10 minutes he pulls up in front of our hotel, oh wait, it's not our hotel, he screwed up and has to SPEED about 2 miles to the correct hotel. It makes for an amusing story now, but wouldn't want to do it again.
     
  3. Jassen M. West

    Jassen M. West Supporting Actor

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    I had that driver on a recent trip to Long Island!!!! [​IMG] He was a smoker and in NY they can't smoke unless the passengers do. Well this guy was popping Nicorette gum in faster than they could produce it. Twitching, picking at the seat, slamming on the gas, slamming on the brake. It must have been the longest 40 minute ride from Port Jefferson to Hauppauge for him. I couldn't wait to get out of that cab. Then of course for the ride back to the ferry we had the same guy!
     
  4. Patrick Sun

    Patrick Sun Moderator
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    I had a far-too-speedy taxi ride from Newark to Manhattan, the driver was zipping in and out of traffic, nabbing small openings in nearby lanes left and right, swerving in and out of the lanes as well, making right turns from the left-most lane across 2-3 other lanes, hauling ass on straightaways when possible. I was so glad when I set foot on the pavement after that ride.
     
  5. Scott L

    Scott L Producer

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    Manhattan cabby for me. Had to go from our hotel to the Staten Island Ferry. Ride seemed to go smooth until our grey-haired driver decided to SLAM on the brakes, sending everyone to the tip of their seats. Limo driver behind us honked for about 10 seconds straight.

    This happened two more times before obscenities were spewn from the limo driver. Our cabby slightly opened his door, stealthily giving the limo the finger (but we all knew what he was doing). More honks, more screaming halts, more obscenities for the length of the trip. We arrived in one piece, and the cab driver was very nice to us, removing our bags from the trunk with a smile. We tipped him and went on our way.
     

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