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Taking a Hiatus (1 Viewer)

DaveF

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My speakers and sub will all have to go into storage.
You’ve got a lot going on, and storage might be easiest, lowest stress option for you. But I wonder if selling off your gear would be better long run? Sounds like this new situation might last a few years. So get some cash now, save long-term storage costs, and save the heartache of finally pulling out of storage your beloved gear years later to potentially find dry-rot or water / humidity degradation.

And then when you’re back in the HT game, you get to go find fun new toys to power your system!
 

TonyD

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Im in a slightly similar situation with my mom.
She is 80 later this year and as of yesterday is now living alone.
Her husband and companion of over 40 years passed away this weekend.

They moved into a housing facility a few years ago that will take care of all their health related needs including hospice care.
He was moved from their apartment a couple days ago into hospice and he passed there.

We have told her many times that if this happens she can come live at our home.

Trouble is she lives in Delaware and our home is in SW Florida.
Plus everything they had money wise was invested in this place where she lives.
So she can stay there until the end of her life and everything is taken care of even if she can no longer pay the rental fees.

Not sure what we are going to do right now.

Good luck Clinton I’m afraid this is going to be a difficult time.
 

bujaki

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I've been there, done that. I had to bring my mother--in her eighties and suffering from mild dementia--from Puerto Rico. My wife made accommodations in our home so she could live comfortably with us and our son. Small house in the Dallas area, but not a problem. However, after one "spell" which necessitated a brief spell in hospital, social services refused to release her into our care, stating that she needed 24-hour care in a nursing home (meds, meals, health monitoring, etc.): stuff that we couldn't provide her.
We were given 3 days to find an appropriate place for her. Fortunately we did find an excellent place within 5-minutes driving from our home. We could visit her several times a week along with two of her grandchildren. She never lost track of her history. She knew who she was and who we were. She only lost her short-term memory. She was well taken care of and was loved by staff and nursing personnel to the end of her days. She was never in pain. She decided it was time to go and so she did, quietly and peacefully.
I was with her when she drew her last breath, as she was with me when I drew my first.
Cherish your parents while you can. Constantly remind yourself that dementia is an illness, and that they do not know--nor are they responsible for--what they are doing.
Patience and love will get you through this difficult time.
 

EricSchulz

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I’m sending you positive vibes and energy. I was my dad’s primary caregiver for four years, the last one being incredibly difficult. He was 87 when mom passed away and lived to 91. Dad was independent and strong willed but we made it work. Towards the end a lot was put on my shoulders and I put him first, but please remember to take care of yourself too. As difficult as life became, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Please make sure you occasionally step away from it…it will definitely help your mental health.
 

Kevin Hewell

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I've been there, done that. I had to bring my mother--in her eighties and suffering from mild dementia--from Puerto Rico. My wife made accommodations in our home so she could live comfortably with us and our son. Small house in the Dallas area, but not a problem. However, after one "spell" which necessitated a brief spell in hospital, social services refused to release her into our care, stating that she needed 24-hour care in a nursing home (meds, meals, health monitoring, etc.): stuff that we couldn't provide her.
We were given 3 days to find an appropriate place for her. Fortunately we did find an excellent place within 5-minutes driving from our home. We could visit her several times a week along with two of her grandchildren. She never lost track of her history. She knew who she was and who we were. She only lost her short-term memory. She was well taken care of and was loved by staff and nursing personnel to the end of her days. She was never in pain. She decided it was time to go and so she did, quietly and peacefully.
I was with her when she drew her last breath, as she was with me when I drew my first.
Cherish your parents while you can. Constantly remind yourself that dementia is an illness, and that they do not know--nor are they responsible for--what they are doing.
Patience and love will get you through this difficult time.

I'm glad you had the means to provide that for her.
 

Clinton McClure

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Im in a slightly similar situation with my mom.
She is 80 later this year and as of yesterday is now living alone.
Her husband and companion of over 40 years passed away this weekend.

They moved into a housing facility a few years ago that will take care of all their health related needs including hospice care.
He was moved from their apartment a couple days ago into hospice and he passed there.

We have told her many times that if this happens she can come live at our home.

Trouble is she lives in Delaware and our home is in SW Florida.
Plus everything they had money wise was invested in this place where she lives.
So she can stay there until the end of her life and everything is taken care of even if she can no longer pay the rental fees.

Not sure what we are going to do right now.

Good luck Clinton I’m afraid this is going to be a difficult time.
Thanks Tony. I wish you luck too.

We’ve moved most of what they are bringing. I think we only have a couple of trips left, but we had to take a break yesterday and today for rain / snow. We needed the rest so it was a welcome break. After that, they’ll go back to their old house every day or so over the next few weeks to clean it out and get ready to have a huge moving sale. Their place is only a 15 minute drive from us so it’s pretty easy on them.

So far, everyone is getting along. We have 4 dogs: Izzy - The Destroyer of Worlds™ who is 11 weeks old today, Chloe (5 year old Cavachon), Chance (4 year old Havanese), and Lilo (14 year old Yorkie who recently went blind). They brought their two 9 year old Yorkies, Sally and Trixie (who is blind and insulin dependent diabetic).

I’m really glad wifey and I were both able to take off this week to help with their transition.

Thank you again to everyone for the outpouring of support.
 

Clinton McClure

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It’s been a bit over 6 months since my parents moved in so I figured I’d give an update.

Apologies if I ramble.

Shortly after they moved in, we had to put down our oldest Yorkie, Lilo. I think posted about it in another thread.

Everyone gets along fairly well. There have been a few clashes, but that’s going to happen and it’s easily worked out after a few hours or the next day once everyone has cooled off.

I’ve noticed over the past couple of months that my dad has been losing weight and has a decreased appetite but we’ve all been so busy (me with working out of state 95% of the time and dad with managing all the home repairs we’re having to do while I’m gone). Since they moved in late January, we’ve replaced both upstairs and downstairs heat pumps and air handlers, installed a whole home natural gas generator (currently in process), and are replacing 9 clerestory windows because they’re 35 years old, the seals are blown, and they leak when it rains. Wifey and I didn’t know it when we bought the house three years ago (because the sellers as well as the realtor and inspector were all lying ass weasels who didn’t disclose a lot of issues we only discovered three years later because I almost fell through the floor upstairs, but the master bathroom shower upstairs was leaking from one end of the shower pan because it was improperly installed by the previous homeowners during a renovation a couple of years before we bought, and slowly rotted out two walls, a half dozen floor joists, and over half of the upstairs bathroom floor. We just had to pay out close to $30k to repair all the damage that had accumulated over the years because of those lying so-and-so’s and homeowner’s insurance wouldn’t even think about covering it ( 😡 but that’s a digression for another time] that we just went about our days and missed all the signs. Since January, we’ve sunk over $70k into the house with another $20k still pending. A different story for a different thread.

Anyway, I was returning from Baton Rouge two weeks ago when my wife called me and said my dad was curled up in my mom’s bed and looked like death and he hadn’t moved in a couple of days except to go to the bathroom. He was not eating or drinking and if he took a bite or sip of something, he immediately threw it up. After I got home, I was able to convince him to go to urgent care to try and get some fluids because he looked really bad and showed signs of severe dehydration. Urgent care turned him away and said they don’t give fluids for dehydration and that he needed to go to the emergency room.

We went back home and called 911 to get an ambulance to transport him to a local hospital where he wouldn’t have to languish for hours in the emergency room waiting area and he was immediately admitted with severe dehydration, pancreatitis, and renal failure. The hospital gave him fluids, electrolytes, did tons of labs that revealed his calcium was dangerously high and a kidney biopsy which has yet to come back, but the doctors said all signs point to kidney cancer or multiple myeloma. They treated him for a few days then bounced him to the VA (32 year retired Army Master Sgt. and veteran of 2 foreign wars serving as 1st Sgt.) for cancer consultation and treatment because it’s across the street from and shares resources with UAMS, who kept him for all of two days, never got the test results or consulted an oncologist, tried to feed him hot wings and chili, then discharged him Friday afternoon and told him to follow up with his kidney doctor sometime this week. No rush. 🤯 Not going political here but the VA system is an embarrassment and about the worst healthcare I’ve ever seen.

Long story short, I’m fairly certain my dad has cancer and my life is about to become infinitely more complicated.
 

Josh Steinberg

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Clinton, I’m so sorry for everything you’re going through, but I’m glad you took the time to share what’s going on with you. If there’s anything we can do to help lighten the load please let us know, and please feel free to vent as often and for as long as needed. Sending lots of love and positive thoughts your way.
 

Mike Frezon

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Hey Clinton. It always surprises me when I can miss a thread like this. But there it is.

Congratulations on being the kind of "good guy" who does the things you're doing--to put aside your life/stuff in order to take care of what's important. And what can be more important than those people who brought you into this world and raised you and gave you care when you needed it most? And now you are doing the same for them.

I'm so sorry for all that you have been going through (Lilo, the house, your dad's illness). We will be lifting you all up in prayer that your circumstances will remain calm, peaceful and manageable.

Like so many others who have posted in this thread, I've got my own stories to tell (my own mom is still living independently at 93 and Peg's mom also at 87). But those situations are subject to change at a moment's notice--as you well know.

All the best, friend.
 

jayembee

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Good luck Clinton. I am helping move my parents to assisted living now, but even that may be short lived as things progress. Its never easy and we all got it coming some day, but it's stressful and exhausting helping others navigate it too. Hang in there!

Same here. My rents-in-law were planning for a move to a elder community, but were taking their time. My M-i-L had a stroke, so my F-i-L had to speed up the process. We had to get their house packed, and either moved into storage or an apartment at an assisted care facility. All during Covid Year Two.
 

Clinton McClure

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A brief update:

Dad has had two more hospital stays since my August 6th post. His last one was a full week at the VA where they diagnosed him with multiple myeloma that has resulted in acute kidney injury. His kidneys are only functioning about 30%, but it’s currently being managed with diet and meds and we’re trying to stay out of dialysis.

As far as his MM is concerned, he’s had 4 chemo treatments thus far and his labs indicate that it’s having a positive effect.

He’s on the schedule for at least 3 more chemo treatments in September with multiple labs, oncologist, hematologist, nephrologist, and urologist visits in between.

He has good days and bad days and we’re all taking this one day at a time. Thanks, everyone, for the kind words of support. 🙏🏻
 

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