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Taking a Hiatus (1 Viewer)

Clinton McClure

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So my dad called today to tell me that he and my mom are getting to the point where they can no longer take care of their home and property (he’s 75, she’s 74 and they’re both in bad health) and are thinking about selling and getting a small apartment somewhere. After looking at apartment prices close to us, they decided it would be too expensive to throw their money away like that and asked if we would let them live with us.

Backtracking a little bit, Wifey and I have both offered them to come live with us multiple times over the last few years. We always tell them that when they reach the point where they feel they can no longer take care of themselves, that we’d be happy to have them live with us.

I said all that to say this: I may soon be going on an HTF hiatus for an undetermined period of time. If my parents decide to go through with their plan and move in with us, they will effectively have the downstairs of our home. There are two guest bedrooms downstairs, one of which I turned into my HT. With them moving in, I have already told them I will stow all of my speakers, discs, and HT gear away so they will have a second room to use as a separate bedroom or tv room if they need. They have slept in separate bedrooms for the last 10 years so why stop now? The only two rooms upstairs are the master bed and bath (which is basically a studio apartment taking half of the upstairs space) and my office. I could turn the office into a very small HT but it is open-air to the living room below and sound travels so I can’t do that. Besides, I need my office for work.

Long story short - I may be packing it in and leaving HTF for a few years. I imagine my UHD disc buying is going to come to a complete stop but it is what it is. I’ll occasionally log in and browse around and I’ll keep my yearly sub active to help keep the lights on, but my posting and bellyaching in the “What Annoys You” thread may end for a while.

If movies have taught me anything, it’s that “Ohana means family and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten”. Over the past 20+ years, HTF has become my Ohana.

I will update this thread if and when my parents decide to sell and move in with us.
 

Josh Steinberg

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I will certainly miss the intelligence, kindness and good humor that you bring to your posts, but I completely understand the need to put family first.

For what it’s worth, I think the offer you’ve given your parents is a wonderful and kind thing, and I wish you, your wife and your folks all the success and happiness with the move should things go that way.

I hope if time permits that you’ll still drop in and say hello. If there’s anything your HTF family can do for you, don’t hesitate to ask.
 

JohnRice

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Good luck Clinton.

I relate. Early last year I had to take over managing my parents’ care and finances. They are in their 90s. Nine days ago they finally moved into assisted living. For many reasons, us all living together just isn’t realistic, plus they really need the full time security of assisted living.

it’s a stressful thing to deal with. I hope it all works out well.
 

Bryan^H

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I'm so sorry to read this Clinton. My parents are in their early 80's, and I'm already a nervous wreck as I see them changing very much (not for the better) in just the last year. I dread the future very much.

I enjoyed reading your posts, and will miss you around here.
Best of luck to you. I wish you well.
 

John Dirk

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Echoing what others have already stated, you'll be missed here should this come to pass but I completely understand your thought process. Family should come first and what you are proposing to your parents is honorable. As such, I tend to believe such choices ultimately turn out to be their own reward.

My parents are already deceased but my wife's are both in their early 80's and starting that inevitable decline, so we may face similar circumstances at some point. Although my HT isn't going anywhere, I can see a day when I might have to switch to headphones. :(
 

Nick*Z

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So my dad called today to tell me that he and my mom are getting to the point where they can no longer take care of their home and property (he’s 75, she’s 74 and they’re both in bad health) and are thinking about selling and getting a small apartment somewhere. After looking at apartment prices close to us, they decided it would be too expensive to throw their money away like that and asked if we would let them live with us.

Backtracking a little bit, Wifey and I have both offered them to come live with us multiple times over the last few years. We always tell them that when they reach the point where they feel they can no longer take care of themselves, that we’d be happy to have them live with us.

I said all that to say this: I may soon be going on an HTF hiatus for an undetermined period of time. If my parents decide to go through with their plan and move in with us, they will effectively have the downstairs of our home. There are two guest bedrooms downstairs, one of which I turned into my HT. With them moving in, I have already told them I will stow all of my speakers, discs, and HT gear away so they will have a second room to use as a separate bedroom or tv room if they need. They have slept in separate bedrooms for the last 10 years so why stop now? The only two rooms upstairs are the master bed and bath (which is basically a studio apartment taking half of the upstairs space) and my office. I could turn the office into a very small HT but it is open-air to the living room below and sound travels so I can’t do that. Besides, I need my office for work.

Long story short - I may be packing it in and leaving HTF for a few years. I imagine my UHD disc buying is going to come to a complete stop but it is what it is. I’ll occasionally log in and browse around and I’ll keep my yearly sub active to help keep the lights on, but my posting and bellyaching in the “What Annoys You” thread may end for a while.

If movies have taught me anything, it’s that “Ohana means family and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten”. Over the past 20+ years, HTF has become my Ohana.

I will update this thread if and when my parents decide to sell and move in with us.
Life throws us many curves, my friend. I never would have imagined where these last two years have taken - and continue to take - me. Wishing you the very best in all things as you move into another phase of life's challenges and triumphs. Sincerely, Nick Zegarac
 

BobO'Link

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Clinton: Best wishes. I am going through this now. I -wish- my parents would agree to live with my sister or me. They are damned independent and think that living on their own is easier on us. It really is not. I hope you can navigate it well.
I exited similar circumstances about 6 months ago with the passing of my mother (dad ~18 months ago).

Clint, you'll be missed - but, IMHO, dropping in here can be quite cathartic (it was for me during the couple of years my sister and I tag-teamed caring for our parents) so keep that in mind. Use us as a sounding board. Heck, just complain about the stress and issues. Put up a small HT in a corner (office or bedroom) and use headphones as the small escape it provides can be quite needed at times.

I wish you and your parents well.
 

ManW_TheUncool

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Clint,

I don't know you well at all, but can't love what you (and your wife) are doing for your parents remotely enough (to only "react" w/out commenting). Others have already expressed just about all I would, so count me amongst those who concur (and would offer up some thoughtful prayer support, if you like).

And yes, many of us are indeed at or approaching similar points in this circle of life as well. You are definitely far from alone... so definitely still visit now and then (for us here) to commiserate or share whatever (possibly hard earned) joys of this new phase, etc even if that may have nothing to do w/ HT -- and yeah, I agree w/ Howie that you may still want to keep a small/modest setup in your office (as I probably would myself if/when it's my turn not long from now)...

All the best to you and your loved ones...

_Man_
 

Clinton McClure

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Thank you, everyone, for the outpouring of support. It means more to me than you’ll ever know. My parents came for a visit today and we confirmed everything. There is no time table but it will be happening soon. They've lived in their current home for 43 years so they have quite a bit of decluttering to do, which I’m sure we’ll be helping with on the weekends. I think dad is going to talk to a realtor sometime this week or next about getting an appraisal and putting together a MLS listing.

We’re all entering this next phase in life with some trepidation. My brother passed away a few years ago leaving me the only child and sole caregiver. Luckily, my wife works in home healthcare, mostly with the elderly, so she’s going to be a huge help. She also lost both of her parents three years ago so she’s excited to have them living with us.

They have two 9-year old Yorkies that are moving in as well. One of them is blind as well as being an insulin dependent diabetic. (Yes, dogs can be diabetic too.) That means that after we adopted Izzy: The Destroyer of Worlds™ last week, we will soon have 6 wagging tails and cold noses in our home. I’m gonna start calling them The Bumpus Hounds. :laugh: Our 14-year old Yorkie has also recently gone blind from cataracts so there will be quite a bit of bumping into each other I’m sure.

Most likely, I’ll begin dismantling my HT in a few weeks. My office is too small for an HT, isn’t light controlled, and is open air to the living room below. If the tv is on in the living room at a reasonable volume, it’s almost too loud up in my office. My wife knows that movie watching is my escape so she has graciously offered to allow me to move the 65” 4K QLED from the HT room up to our bedroom (replacing a 50” 4K tv we currently have up there) and letting me put a love seat at the foot of our bed if it will fit. I can then move my UHD player and receiver upstairs and use headphones to watch movies. I think I’m going to take her on a second honeymoon for that. My speakers and sub will all have to go into storage. It’s a fair compromise I’m willing to make to keep my parents out of a nursing home for as long as I can.

I’m sure I’ll pop in regularly or at least try to as often as I can, although it will probably be late evenings just before bed. Weekends will now be dedicated to my parents when I’m not doing yard work or helping out with household chores.

Again, thank you to each and every one for the words of encouragement. This is going to be a tough road going forward but it will be worth it, every moment of every day.

Much love. ❤️

Clint
 

Patrick Sun

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So in a turn of fate, my elderly mom is now living with me at my house, and has mobility issues, and dementia, so I'm her sole caregiver, and since I stay home, I've delved back into home theater to pass the time and take care of my mom. It's been an interesting journey so far, as I will never take for granted my own mobility, my own mortality.

Good luck with your new housemates situation, and enjoy your parents' presence for as long as possible.
 

Kevin Hewell

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So in a turn of fate, my elderly mom is now living with me at my house, and has mobility issues, and dementia, so I'm her sole caregiver, and since I stay home, I've delved back into home theater to pass the time and take care of my mom. It's been an interesting journey so far, as I will never take for granted my own mobility, my own mortality.

Good luck with your new housemates situation, and enjoy your parents' presence for as long as possible.

I'm sorry to hear about that. Taking care of an elderly parent is a pain, especially one with dementia. You're a good son!
 

Clinton McClure

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Well that happened faster than I thought. Since my mom is in such bad shape, my parents decided Friday that they would like to move in as quickly as possible. I returned from a business trip Friday evening and started moving things around and cleaned out the HT. They started moving in yesterday and stayed with us last night. There’s still a lot to do and wifey and I are both taking off work next week to help clean, declutter, and move things.

Best of luck with your situation as well, Patrick.
 

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