Steve's 2500 Post Orgy, join the part,y, clothes optional.

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Steve Christou, Mar 13, 2002.

  1. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

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    Wahay! 2500 posts! Still can't believe it, how do I find the time?[​IMG]
    Come in, come in everyone, join the fun, take your clothes off, just throw them on that pile over there, Malcolm McDowell is over there with Helen Mirren, I'll be with you in a minute...
    Erm anyway I would like to thank everyone (owners, mods and members) for making my stay at the HTF as hysterically irrelevent as it is, and if I've annoyed anyone in the past, it wasn't me! It was my evil alter ego, Lucy Fur, hate that bitch![​IMG]
    And I would like to commemorate my 2500 posts with more Monty Python quotes (ok who groaned?). No this thread wasn't started as an excuse to post more quotes from Monty Python, I really am proud of my 2500 richly detailed posteroonies (sniggers).
    GUARD #1: Halt! Who goes there?
    ARTHUR: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeator of the Saxons, sovereign of all England!
    GUARD #1: Pull the other one!
    ARTHUR: I am. And this my trusty servant Patsy. We have
    ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court of Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
    GUARD #1: What, ridden on a horse?
    ARTHUR: Yes!
    GUARD #1: You're using coconuts!
    ARTHUR: What?
    GUARD #1: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're
    bangin' 'em together.
    ARTHUR: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered
    this land, through the kingdom of Mercea, through--
    GUARD #1: Where'd you get the coconuts?
    ARTHUR: We found them.
    GUARD #1: Found them? In Mercea? The coconut's tropical!
    ARTHUR: What do you mean?
    GUARD #1: Well, this is a temperate zone.
    ARTHUR: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house
    martin or the plumber may seek warmer climes in winter yet these are not strangers to our land.
    GUARD #1: Are you suggesting coconuts are migratory?
    ARTHUR: Not at all, they could be carried.
    GUARD #1: What -- a swallow carrying a coconut?
    ARTHUR: It could grip it by the husk!
    GUARD #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a
    simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a 1 pound coconut.
    ARTHUR: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your
    master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here.
    GUARD #1: Listen, in order to maintain air-speed velocity, a
    swallow needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?
    ARTHUR: Please!
    GUARD #1: Am I right?
    ARTHUR: I'm not interested!
    GUARD #2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
    GUARD #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow, that's my point.
    GUARD #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that...
    ARTHUR: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?!
    GUARD #1: But then of course African swallows are not migratory.
    GUARD #2: Oh, yeah...
    GUARD #1: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway...
    [clop clop]
    GUARD #2: Wait a minute -- supposing two swallows carried it
    together?
    GUARD #1: No, they'd have to have it on a line.
    GUARD #2: Well, simple! They'd just use a standard creeper!
    GUARD #1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
    GUARD #2: Well, why not?
    POSTED BY STEVE'S OTHER ALTER EGO, MAXIMUS ERECTUS.
    Edited for speeling mistaiks
     
  2. Patrick Sun

    Patrick Sun Moderator
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    So exactly how many posts does Lucy Fur have?

    Congrat! And I'm leaving my toga on, thank you very much.
     
  3. Bob McLaughlin

    Bob McLaughlin Screenwriter

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    Wow, congratulations, Steve! Does this mean you've had 2,500 different signatures, too?

    (Piss off, Malcolm, I've got dibs on Ms. Mirren!)
     
  4. Rain

    Rain Producer

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    "Helen, darling, you are one of my favourite actresses, but for the love of god, put on some clothes."
    Congratulations, Steve.
    Hmmmm...I think I will start a new movie tournament in your honour. [​IMG]
     
  5. Steven Simon

    Steven Simon Producer

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    [​IMG]
     
  6. Micheal

    Micheal Screenwriter

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    Monty Python...., they make me laugh every time! [​IMG]
    TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!
     
  7. Jack Briggs

    Jack Briggs Executive Producer

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    If Steve had never joined Home Theater Forum, it would have been necessary to invent him. I think.

    Yo, bro': Thanks for dosing us with your hysterics-inducing Brit wit. I'm of British descent, so I think I kind of understand your, erm, problems!

    Congrats on the 2,500 milestone, and here's to the next 2,500 (heaven help us all).
     
  8. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

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    Hahaha, great, thanks fellas, the checks in the post.
    Jack, Patrick, looking at your post counts makes me feel erm inadequate, can't you hide them with spoilers.[​IMG]
    Rain, aaah thats nice mate.[​IMG] How are things over in Tournament Park btw?
    ------------------------------
    BLACK KNIGHT: None shall pass.
    ARTHUR: What?
    BLACK KNIGHT: None shall pass.
    ARTHUR: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir knight, but I must
    cross this bridge.
    BLACK KNIGHT: Then you shall die.
    ARTHUR: I command you as King of the Britons to stand aside!
    BLACK KNIGHT: I move for no man.
    ARTHUR: So be it!
    [hah]
    [parry thrust]
    [ARTHUR chops the Black Knight's left arm off]
    ARTHUR: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
    BLACK KNIGHT: 'Tis but a scratch.
    ARTHUR: A scratch? Your arm's off!
    BLACK KNIGHT: No, it isn't.
    ARTHUR: Well, what's that then?
    BLACK KNIGHT: I've had worse.
    ARTHUR: You liar!
    BLACK KNIGHT: Come on you pansy!
    [hah]
    [parry thrust]
    [ARTHUR chops the Black Knight's right arm off]
    ARTHUR: Victory is mine!
    [kneeling]
    We thank thee Lord, that in thy merc-
    [Black Knight kicks Arthur in the head while he is praying]
    BLACK KNIGHT: Come on then.
    ARTHUR: What?
    BLACK KNIGHT: Have at you!
    ARTHUR: You are indeed brave, Sir knight, but the fight is mine.
    BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, had enough, eh?
    ARTHUR: Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left.
    BLACK KNIGHT: Yes I have.
    ARTHUR: Look!
    BLACK KNIGHT: Just a flesh wound.
    [Headbutts ARTHUR in the chest]
    ARTHUR: Look, stop that.
    BLACK KNIGHT: Chicken! Chicken!
    ARTHUR: Look, I'll have your leg. Right!
    [whop][ARTHUR chops of the Black Knight's right leg]
    BLACK KNIGHT: Right, I'll do you for that!
    ARTHUR: You'll what?
    BLACK KNIGHT: Come 'ere!
    ARTHUR: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
    BLACK KNIGHT: I'm invincible!
    ARTHUR: You're a loony.
    BLACK KNIGHT: The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you!
    Come on then.
    [whop]
    [ARTHUR chops the Black Knight's other leg off]
    BLACK KNIGHT: All right; we'll call it a draw.
    ARTHUR: Come, Patsy.
    BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, oh, I see, running away then. You yellow
    bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite
    your legs off!
     
  9. Ike

    Ike Screenwriter

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    Jesus, I'm blind! I'm blind!
    Christou, put on some pants. There are children and gerbils present.
    (And 2500? Are we celebrating half-1000's now? [​IMG] )
     
  10. TimDoss

    TimDoss Second Unit

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    Well, unfortunately I have to say goodbye to you all,

    my company didn't take well to me sitting here naked...

    they even claimed to not even know who Steve Christou was.

    Bastards. Oh well, can't say I would really want to sit

    in this chair again anyway.
     
  11. Rain

    Rain Producer

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  12. Ike

    Ike Screenwriter

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  13. SteveGon

    SteveGon Executive Producer

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    Steve, congrats! Emmy ssays helllo! Dang itt! It''s hard to typpppe whenn she's sittting on my la[p. Mmmm, dont squirm likee th;at...um, gotta go
     
  14. Nick Sievers

    Nick Sievers Producer

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    Congrats Steve,

    The Toga has been disrobed and left at the door. Fun for all.
     
  15. Marianne

    Marianne Supporting Actor

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    Steve, is that a Freudian slip in the title?
    I'll be over to join the party later, just have to find my magnifying glass first! [​IMG]
    Seriously, though, congrats Steve your erudite posts have taught us all something (just not sure what). [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  16. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

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    Marianne, my preciousss baby, haha, don't know what happened to the title, but only you could read that into it, tsk tsk.[​IMG] Oh yeah come and join the party Marianne, and wha.. what was that? Magnifying glass? Oooh, thats not nice, its an orgy not a look at my stamp collection, oh don't worry I'll tie me kangaroo down.[​IMG]
    SteveGon, I know how you feel, do you remember that bit in Swordfish, when Hugh Jackman is trying to get the password while being erm.. distracted by that gorgeous blonde, thats how I'm feeling nnnnnn..ow! That hurt you silly cow![​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------
    PILATE: People of Jewusalem. Wome is your fwiend.
    CROWD: wahaha!.
    PILATE: To pwove ow fwiendship, it is customawy at this time to welease a wongdower fwom ow pwisons.
    CROWD: Hahahaha.
    PILATE: Whom would you have me welease?
    MAN: Welease Woger!
    CROWD: Yeah! WELEASE WOGER! WELEASE WOGER! Hahahahaha.
    PILATE: Vewwy well. I shall welease woger!
    CROWD: Yay. Yay.
    CENTURIAN: Sir, eh. We don't have a Woger, sir.
    PILATE: What?
    CENTURIAN: Eh, we don't have anyone of that name, sir.
    PILATE: Ah. We have no Woger.
    CROWD: Aaaaaah.
    MAN: Well what about Wodewic then?.
    CROWD: Yeah. WELEASE WODEWIC! WELEASE WODEWIC!
    PILATE: Centuwian. Why do they titter so?
    CENTURIAN: Just some, uh, Jewish joke, sir.
    PILATE: Are they... swagging me?
    CENTURIAN: Oh, no, sir!
    PILATE: Vewwy well. I shall welease Wodewic!
    CROWD: Bwaaahahahaha.
    CENTURIAN: Sir, we don't have a Woderic either.
    PILATE: No Woger, no Wodewic?
    CENTURIAN: Sorry, sir.
    PILATE: Who is this Wodewic to whom you wefer?
    MAN 1: He's a wobber.
    CROWD: Ahhhhahahah.
    MAN 2: and a wapist.
    CROWD: Ahahahhahah!
    WOMAN: ... and a pickpocket!
    CROWD: Aaah no. ssssssh.
    PILATE: He sounds a notowious cwiminal.
    CENTURIAN: We haven't got him, sir.
    PILATE: Do we have anyone in our pwisons at all?
    CENTURIAN: Oh yes, sir. We've got a Samson, sir.
    PILATE: Samson?
    CENTURIAN: Samson the Saggisea strangler, sir. Ah, Silas the Assyrian Assassin. Ah, several seditious scribes from Ceaserea, ah... sixty seven seers from...
    BIGUS DICKUS: Let me thpeak to them, Ponthiuth.
    CENTURIAN: Oh, no.
    PILATE: Ah. Good idea, Bigus.
    BIGUS DICKUS:Thitithenth. We have Thamthon the Thaggithea thtrangler, Thilath the Athyrian Athathin, theveral thadithiouth thcribeth from Theatherea.....
     
  17. Jon D

    Jon D Stunt Coordinator

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    *Says in small, whimpering voice, fraught with insecurity and uncertianty* Can I join your wonderful party? I'll sit in the corner and hold your drink, just please let me in!!!
     

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