Wahay 2000 Posts, can't believe it! 2000 informative educational posteroonies, its a miracle.
I know to some members 2000 posts is only a few weeks splurge of activity, take a bow Patrick Sun, but for me its a strain on my feet....
When I accidently joined the HTF way back in April 2000 I only intended to post once and that was "Ok since I'm here which one of you twits can tell me whens them Star Wars movies out on DVD than?", which was to be followed by "How are the women round here anyway?", but something strange happened I liked the place, hmmm I can stay here awhile I thought, see how long I can last before they kick me out, well 2000 posts later and I'm still here...
And as a thank you to all the members and staff of the HTF I present The Tale of Sir Lancelot from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, enjoy.
FATHER: One day, lad, all this will be yours!
HERBERT: What, the curtains?
FATHER: No, not the curtains, lad. All that you can see!
Stretched out over the hills and valleys of this land! This'll be
your kingdom, lad!
HERBERT: But, Mother--
FATHER: Father, I'm Father.
HERBERT: But Father, I don't want any of that.
FATHER: Listen, lad. I've built this kingdom up from nothing.
When I started here, all there was was swamp. The king said I was
daft to build a castle in a swamp, but I built it all the same,
just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second
one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third one. That
burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth
one stayed up. An' that's what your gonna get, lad -- the strongest
castle in these islands.
HERBERT: But I don't want any of that -- I'd rather--
FATHER: Rather what?!
HERBERT: I'd rather... just... FATHER: Cut that out, cut that out. Look, you're marryin'
Princess Lucky, so you'd better get used to the idea. [smack]
Guards! Make sure the Prince doesn't leave this room until I come
and get 'im.
GUARD #1: Not to leave the room even if you come and get him.
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: No, no. Until I come and get 'im.
GUARD #1: Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the
room.
FATHER: No, no, no. You stay in the room and make sure 'e
doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: And you'll come and get him.
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Right.
GUARD #1: We don't need to do anything, apart from just stop him
entering the room.
FATHER: No, no. Leaving the room.
GUARD #1: Leaving the room, yes.
FATHER: All right?
GUARD #1: Right. Oh, if-if-if, uh, if-if-if, uh, if-if-if we...
FATHER: Yes, what is it?
GUARD #1: Oh, if-if, oh--
FATHER: Look, it's quite simple.
GUARD #1: Uh...
FATHER: You just stay here, and make sure 'e doesn't leave the
room. All right?
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Right.
GUARD #1: Oh, I remember. Uh, can he leave the room with us?
FATHER: N- No no no. You just keep him in here, and make sure--
GUARD #1: Oh, yes, we'll keep him in here, obviously. But if he
had to leave and we were--
FATHER: No, no, just keep him in here--
GUARD #1: Until you, or anyone else,--
FATHER: No, not anyone else, just me--
GUARD #1: Just you.
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Get back.
GUARD #1: Get back.
FATHER: Right?
GUARD #1: Right, we'll stay here until you get back.
FATHER: And, uh, make sure he doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: What?
FATHER: Make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: The Prince?
FATHER: Yes, make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: Oh, yes, of course. I thought you meant him. Y'know,
it seemed a bit daft, me havin' to guard him when he's a guard.
FATHER: Is that clear?
GUARD #2: Hic!
GUARD #1: Oh, quite clear, no problems.
FATHER: Right.
[starts to leave]
Where are you going?
GUARD #1: We're coming with you.
FATHER: No no, I want you to stay 'ere and make sure 'e doesn't
leave.
GUARD #1: Oh, I see. Right.
HERBERT: But, Father!
FATHER: Shut your noise, you! And get that suit on! And no
singing!
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Oh, go get a glass of water.
Scene 15
LANCELOT: Well taken, Concorde!
CONCORDE: Thank you, sir! Most kind.
LANCELOT: And again... Over we go! Good. Steady! And now, the
big one...Ooof! Come on, Concorde!
[thwonk]
CONCORDE: Message for you, sir.
[fwump]
LANCELOT: Concorde! Concorde, speak to me! "To whoever finds
this note, I have been imprisoned by my father, who wishes me to
marry against my will. Please, please, please come and rescue me.
I am in the tall tower of Swamp Castle." At last! A call, a cry
of distress! This could be the sign that leads us to the Holy
Grail! Brave, brave Concorde! You shall not have died in vain!
CONCORDE: Uh, I'm-I'm not quite dead, sir.
LANCELOT: Well, you shall not have been mortally wounded in
vain!
CONCORDE: Uh, I-I think uh, I could pull through, sir.
LANCELOT: Oh, I see.
CONCORDE: Actually, I think I'm all right to come with you--
LANCELOT: No, no, sweet Concorde! Stay here! I will send help
as soon as I have accomplished a daring and heroic rescue in my own
particular... (sigh)
CONCORDE: Idiom, sir?
LANCELOT: Idiom!
CONCORDE: No, I feel fine, actually, sir.
LANCELOT: Farewell, sweet Concorde!
CONCORDE: I'll-uh, I'll just stay here, then, shall I, sir? Yeah.
Scene 16
LANCELOT: Ha-ha! etc.
GUARD #1: Now, you're not allowed to come in here, and we're-ugh!
LANCELOT: O fair one, behold your humble servant Sir LANCELOT
of Camelot. I have come to take -- oh, I'm terribly sorry.
HERBERT: You got my note!
LANCELOT: Uh, well, I got A note.
HERBERT: You've come to rescue me!
LANCELOT: Uh, well, no, you see--
HERBERT: I knew that someone would, I knew that somewhere out
there... there must be... FATHER: Not like that! Not like that! No, stop it!
SINGING: He's going to tell! He's going to tell!
FATHER: Shut up!
SINGING: He's going to tell! He's going to tell!
He's going to tell! He's going to tell!
He's going to tell! He's going to tell!
He's going to tell! He's going to tell!
CONCORDE: Quickly, sir! This way!
LANCELOT: No, it's not in my idiom! I must escape in my own
particular....(sigh)
CONCORDE: Dogma, sir?
LANCELOT: Dogma! Hee! Ha!
[crash]
Excuse me, could, uh, could somebody give me a push,
please...?" controls controlslist="nodownload" style="width:400px;height:100px;">" controls controlslist="nodownload" style="width:400px;height:100px;">" controls controlslist="nodownload" style="width:400px;height:100px;">" controls controlslist="nodownload" style="width:400px;height:100px;">

I know to some members 2000 posts is only a few weeks splurge of activity, take a bow Patrick Sun, but for me its a strain on my feet....
When I accidently joined the HTF way back in April 2000 I only intended to post once and that was "Ok since I'm here which one of you twits can tell me whens them Star Wars movies out on DVD than?", which was to be followed by "How are the women round here anyway?", but something strange happened I liked the place, hmmm I can stay here awhile I thought, see how long I can last before they kick me out, well 2000 posts later and I'm still here...
And as a thank you to all the members and staff of the HTF I present The Tale of Sir Lancelot from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, enjoy.
FATHER: One day, lad, all this will be yours!
HERBERT: What, the curtains?
FATHER: No, not the curtains, lad. All that you can see!
Stretched out over the hills and valleys of this land! This'll be
your kingdom, lad!
HERBERT: But, Mother--
FATHER: Father, I'm Father.
HERBERT: But Father, I don't want any of that.
FATHER: Listen, lad. I've built this kingdom up from nothing.
When I started here, all there was was swamp. The king said I was
daft to build a castle in a swamp, but I built it all the same,
just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second
one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third one. That
burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth
one stayed up. An' that's what your gonna get, lad -- the strongest
castle in these islands.
HERBERT: But I don't want any of that -- I'd rather--
FATHER: Rather what?!
HERBERT: I'd rather... just... FATHER: Cut that out, cut that out. Look, you're marryin'
Princess Lucky, so you'd better get used to the idea. [smack]
Guards! Make sure the Prince doesn't leave this room until I come
and get 'im.
GUARD #1: Not to leave the room even if you come and get him.
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: No, no. Until I come and get 'im.
GUARD #1: Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the
room.
FATHER: No, no, no. You stay in the room and make sure 'e
doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: And you'll come and get him.
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Right.
GUARD #1: We don't need to do anything, apart from just stop him
entering the room.
FATHER: No, no. Leaving the room.
GUARD #1: Leaving the room, yes.
FATHER: All right?
GUARD #1: Right. Oh, if-if-if, uh, if-if-if, uh, if-if-if we...
FATHER: Yes, what is it?
GUARD #1: Oh, if-if, oh--
FATHER: Look, it's quite simple.
GUARD #1: Uh...
FATHER: You just stay here, and make sure 'e doesn't leave the
room. All right?
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Right.
GUARD #1: Oh, I remember. Uh, can he leave the room with us?
FATHER: N- No no no. You just keep him in here, and make sure--
GUARD #1: Oh, yes, we'll keep him in here, obviously. But if he
had to leave and we were--
FATHER: No, no, just keep him in here--
GUARD #1: Until you, or anyone else,--
FATHER: No, not anyone else, just me--
GUARD #1: Just you.
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Get back.
GUARD #1: Get back.
FATHER: Right?
GUARD #1: Right, we'll stay here until you get back.
FATHER: And, uh, make sure he doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: What?
FATHER: Make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: The Prince?
FATHER: Yes, make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: Oh, yes, of course. I thought you meant him. Y'know,
it seemed a bit daft, me havin' to guard him when he's a guard.
FATHER: Is that clear?
GUARD #2: Hic!
GUARD #1: Oh, quite clear, no problems.
FATHER: Right.
[starts to leave]
Where are you going?
GUARD #1: We're coming with you.
FATHER: No no, I want you to stay 'ere and make sure 'e doesn't
leave.
GUARD #1: Oh, I see. Right.
HERBERT: But, Father!
FATHER: Shut your noise, you! And get that suit on! And no
singing!
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Oh, go get a glass of water.
Scene 15
LANCELOT: Well taken, Concorde!
CONCORDE: Thank you, sir! Most kind.
LANCELOT: And again... Over we go! Good. Steady! And now, the
big one...Ooof! Come on, Concorde!
[thwonk]
CONCORDE: Message for you, sir.
[fwump]
LANCELOT: Concorde! Concorde, speak to me! "To whoever finds
this note, I have been imprisoned by my father, who wishes me to
marry against my will. Please, please, please come and rescue me.
I am in the tall tower of Swamp Castle." At last! A call, a cry
of distress! This could be the sign that leads us to the Holy
Grail! Brave, brave Concorde! You shall not have died in vain!
CONCORDE: Uh, I'm-I'm not quite dead, sir.
LANCELOT: Well, you shall not have been mortally wounded in
vain!
CONCORDE: Uh, I-I think uh, I could pull through, sir.
LANCELOT: Oh, I see.
CONCORDE: Actually, I think I'm all right to come with you--
LANCELOT: No, no, sweet Concorde! Stay here! I will send help
as soon as I have accomplished a daring and heroic rescue in my own
particular... (sigh)
CONCORDE: Idiom, sir?
LANCELOT: Idiom!
CONCORDE: No, I feel fine, actually, sir.
LANCELOT: Farewell, sweet Concorde!
CONCORDE: I'll-uh, I'll just stay here, then, shall I, sir? Yeah.
Scene 16
LANCELOT: Ha-ha! etc.
GUARD #1: Now, you're not allowed to come in here, and we're-ugh!
LANCELOT: O fair one, behold your humble servant Sir LANCELOT
of Camelot. I have come to take -- oh, I'm terribly sorry.
HERBERT: You got my note!
LANCELOT: Uh, well, I got A note.
HERBERT: You've come to rescue me!
LANCELOT: Uh, well, no, you see--
HERBERT: I knew that someone would, I knew that somewhere out
there... there must be... FATHER: Not like that! Not like that! No, stop it!
SINGING: He's going to tell! He's going to tell!
FATHER: Shut up!
SINGING: He's going to tell! He's going to tell!
He's going to tell! He's going to tell!
He's going to tell! He's going to tell!
He's going to tell! He's going to tell!
CONCORDE: Quickly, sir! This way!
LANCELOT: No, it's not in my idiom! I must escape in my own
particular....(sigh)
CONCORDE: Dogma, sir?
LANCELOT: Dogma! Hee! Ha!
[crash]
Excuse me, could, uh, could somebody give me a push,
please...?" controls controlslist="nodownload" style="width:400px;height:100px;">" controls controlslist="nodownload" style="width:400px;height:100px;">" controls controlslist="nodownload" style="width:400px;height:100px;">" controls controlslist="nodownload" style="width:400px;height:100px;">