Sometimes life just isn't fair...

Discussion in 'After Hours Lounge (Off Topic)' started by Andrew_Sch, Aug 6, 2004.

  1. Andrew_Sch

    Andrew_Sch Cinematographer

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    A dear friend of mine whom I've known since second or third grade (I just graduated high school) just lost his little brother. He died suddenly in his sleep a few nights ago. He was twelve, the youngest of four brothers. The funeral mass was today. Seeing the crying faces of all the people I've known for most of my life was one of the most horrible things I've ever had to experience. If I live to be 100, I will never, ever forget the look on my friend's face as he walked down the aisle at the end of the mass. It couldn't have happened to better people, either. The family is pretty much the preeminent one of Perry Hall, the suburb of Baltimore where we live, they are literally involved in everything, from sports to music to school. Our elementary school even has a scholarship named after the boys' mother. Every time I went over to his house to work on school projects that we often did together, there were documents for youth rec leagues all over the place, and it seemed they were always doing a million things at once. Simply put, they are the very definition of the perfect family. I just don't understand why things like this have to happen. Please pray for them.
     
  2. Al.Anderson

    Al.Anderson Cinematographer

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    The death of a child is one of the hardest things to accept. This is only compounded when the child and family are wonderful people as you descibe. The only thing I can say is that with time you'll heal; though as you say you'll never get over it. In the meantime talk about it, especially with your friend and his family. They may not want to talk but you should try and play it by ear; more than likely they'll appreciate your memories and warm feelings.
     
  3. Bill Williams

    Bill Williams Screenwriter

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    I can definitely relate to that.

    I used to teach school, and I've been to at least two funerals during my tenure. One of them was for a little girl who died, along with her mother, in a car accident. The other one was for a boy at the school where I was teaching. That one was much more painful for me to endure, both personally and professionally, because I knew the boy because of his parents, who are friends of mine. That was one of those extremely rare times where I could not separate my responsibilities to my school and to my friends.

    The thing to do is remember the good times, be there for your friends when they need to talk. Sometimes just simply being there says more than is needed.
     
  4. Ron Etaylor

    Ron Etaylor Second Unit

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    One summer I went to the funerals of three kids. One teenager killed in a car wreck, two younger children who died from medical causes. It was indeed a big bummer.
    Sorry you were affected so.
     
  5. Peter Apruzzese

    Peter Apruzzese Producer

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    My condolences to you, your friend, and his family.
     
  6. Mike Voigt

    Mike Voigt Supporting Actor

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    How awful!

    Mom, who passed away two years ago, had a statement next to her bed, passed on by her mother. Translated, it said about those "Luminous Days" - those wonderful days and memories we all treasure: "Don't cry because they passed, but smile that they existed."

    She lived by it, or tried to. I keep that in mind on tough occasions, such as my father passing away rather suddenly earlier this year.

    The whichness of the why of bad things is difficult to explain. I feel for your friends.

    Mike
     
  7. Wayne A. Pflughaupt

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    Sorry to hear about your loss, Mike. My brother passed away a few years ago, he was only 41.

    Re children dying, we’re actually pretty fortunate in this day and age, because this is a fairly rare thing now. I’ve done genealogy research on my family, mostly in the 19th century, and you wouldn’t believe some of the horrible things I’ve seen. It was very common back then for families to lose children – often lots of children.

    For instance, my great-great grandfather lost five of his twelve children. His sister lost five of her ten. Both of them, and their spouses, lost siblings when they were growing up.

    I’ve seen more than one case where a family lost three children in the same month when a nasty bug of some kind was going around.

    Some of these poor people, you have to wonder of weren’t born under some kind of a black star. It seemed like misfortune relentlessly stalked them their whole life.

    My g-g-g grandfather’s second wife had buried two husbands and five of her six children by the time she was 48. Due to some foul-up with my g-g-g grandfather’s estate that I haven’t quite unraveled, she was pursued in the courts for a decade or more by a vengeful creditor who somehow had a lien on her portion of the estate. Later on, her only daughter-in-law and one and of her two grandchildren died a month apart. Her own demise shocked the whole county and made the front page of the paper: She burned to death after her dress caught fire from a wood-burning stove.

    Certainly, life is not always fair, but I’m eternally thankful I missed out on those days.

    Regards,
    Wayne A. Pflughaupt
     
  8. Van Patton

    Van Patton Second Unit

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    This is awful. My thoughts and prayers go out for you and your family.
     
  9. Chris_Morris

    Chris_Morris Screenwriter

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    Prayers for all those affected.


    Chris
     

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