Someone please kill me (1 Viewer)

[Gary->dee]

Seen the commercials for this movie. It looks incredibly fucking bad. Not bad meaning good but bad meaning BAD.

And it's rated PG? Christ I would have given it more credit had it been rated G.

 

[Kevin M]

Wasn't this foretold in some of the apocalyptic visions of Nostradamus?

...something about the end of the world...anti-christ...great tribulation...famine...War...plage...Baby Geniuses 2...

 

[Timothy Alexander]

This movie's been in development since 2001? Jesus, why did they go all the way through with making this?

 

[Mark Pfeiffer]

OK guys, I took a bullet for everybody and saw this today as part of catching up on the openers I didn't see while out of town on vacation. (Suspect Zero wasn't much better, I'm afraid.)

I'm not going to bother to spoilerize anything as I presume no one reading this is the least bit interested in actually seeing it.

The original Baby Geniuses made my 1999 worst of the year list. I can't say I recall much about it, but the sequel strikes me as not as bad or as creepy in regard to the talking babies. Of course, it looks like they cheaped out and favored bad overdubbing rather than doing any CGI mouth work. The weird thing is that this quality also extends to the teen and adult actors.

The story doesn't make a lick of sense--as if it matters--and the hero isn't even a baby but some seven-year-old frozen in development who has some super abilities and still remembers the baby language. The timeline is all off in this movie too, as we see this seven-year-old hero, the Kahuna, fighting Voight's character in East Berlin in 1962 (seriously). Of course, we learn that these two are brothers, but that would have to put Voigt at, oh, age 30 or so in '62 (and that's being generous). Which would mean that Kahuna is actually 70 years old in the present day also, even though he looks and acts like a kid. Just writing this makes it sound unbelievably stupid.

There are some hilarious bad moments early on, and I thought maybe it would be a laugh riot for all the wrong reasons. Nope, it's just run of the mill bad. Did I mention that Scott Baio is in it too?

Voight's priceless line, repeated at least twice in his German accent: "I have a soft spot for the laughing of babies."

It's terrible. You already knew it would be. Please, Bob Clark, no more.

 

[Gary->dee]

You should get an award, Mark. You truly took one for the team.

 

[Amy Mormino]

It really is sad to see Voight and Bob Clark, who directed the great Black Christmas and A Christmas Story, reduced to this. While Clark's career has been going downhill for awhile (perhaps he needs to do another movie with 'Christmas' in the title), Voight hasn't been doing too bad. But he seems to alternate respectable roles in films like Ali, Holes, and The Manchurian Candidate with movies like this and some film called The Karate Dog that I saw on his resume on IMDB. I guess he needs the money and must work constantly.

 

[Kevin M]

....the rivers shall turn to blood.....the sky will be black as pitch.....Baby Geniuses 2....the dead shall rise.....dog & cat's, living together..you know, Mass Hysteria!!

 

[Jan Strnad]

I noticed at rottentomatoes.com that this film earned 0%. I've never seen that low a rating before. Is this a first?

Jan

 

[Kristian]

I noticed at rottentomatoes.com that this film earned 0%. I've never seen that low a rating before. Is this a first?

It's happened several times before, but in almost every case, one weirdo shows up out of nowhere with a positive review. Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever, Master of Disguise and Yu-Gi-Oh were all completely rotten for a long time until this happened. Roberto Benigni's Pinocchio is one of the rare exceptions to this, as it remains at 0%.

 

[RobertR]

I've seen the trailer for this from time to time on HDNet, and I'm simply astounded at the sheer awfulness of it. Hollywood really does appear insane at times.

 

[Dennis Pagoulatos]

You just don't wake up one morning and say to yourself, "Hey, I'm going to put Scott Baio and Jon Voight in a film together!" That kind of evil takes years and years of planning.

-Mr.Cranky