What's new

Some short, humorous Netflix reviews... (1 Viewer)

Brett_M

Screenwriter
Joined
Nov 19, 2004
Messages
1,397
Location
Mos Eisley Spaceport
Real Name
Brett Meyer
Rent -- The opening song is great. (end review)

The Ring Two -- One Ring too many.

Final Destination 3 -- Not worth the plastic it's imprinted on.

Planet of the Apes -- This movie sucks eggs.

Carlito's Way: Rise to Power -- A steaming turd with no resemblance whatsoever to Carlito's Way.

9 Songs -- 71 minutes I'll never get back.

The Jazz Singer -- Neil Diamond. 'Nuff said.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy -- This hitchhiker should have been murdered.

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants -- My wife loved it. (Take that for whatever it's worth.)

The Dreamers -- Eva Green is hot but there's no penetration.

Must Love Dogs -- Must not rent.

The Transporter 2 -- Go back to France.

The Cave -- Should be dropped into one...

Freedomland -- Suck-fest.

This Film Is Not Yet Rated -- This film is not yet a real movie.

Catch a Fire -- Start by burning this dvd.

Altered -- Would be better if the alien didn't suck so much.

Gridiron Gang -- The real footage during the end credits is better than the whole movie.

Half Nelson -- "A crack-addicted teacher/girls' basketball coach" hits too close to home.

Jesus Camp -- Awesome in a "watching a car wreck" sense.

Stranger than Fiction -- Will Ferrell reigned in = nice movie.

For Your Consideration -- Consider me unimpressed.

Infamous -- "I don't see what all the fuss is about."

Shortbus -- Watch this for the tattooed chick getting railed from behind. That, and the gay sex.

Borat -- Nice. Please to rents this moviefilm disc.

Private School -- Betsy Russell is hot. Otherwise, this school should be closed.

The Marine -- Should be given a dishonorable discharge. Rips off every 80s action flick...and badly at that.

The Descent -- If you're thinking about watching this alone...DON'T!

Quigley Down Under -- Great facial hair.

Cobra -- Crime is the disease. He's the cure. This film also cures any sensitivity to violence.

Koko: A Talking Gorilla -- (in David Puddy voice) "That chimp's alright. High five!"

Marilyn Hotchkiss Ballroom Dancing and Charm School -- The movie felt as long as the title.

Ask the Dust -- Salma Hayek gets totally naked...but it's not enough to save this slow if somewhat humorous period piece.

Resident Evil: Extinction -- Paul W.S Anderson needs to go extinct.

Phantasm -- I'm a phan -- you should be, too.

Accepted -- Denied.

A Scanner Darkly -- A Movie Worthless.

Snakes on a Plane -- It bites.

Jackass: Number Two -- I never knew pooping and male genitalia were so funny. Watch it with someone you love.

World Trade Center -- Oliver Stone-Lite.
 

rich_d

Senior HTF Member
Joined
Oct 21, 2001
Messages
2,036
Location
Connecticut
Real Name
Rich

Good thing I wasn't taking a drink when I read this otherwise I have spit it all over the CRT from laughing so hard.
 

JohnRice

Bounded In a Nutshell
Premium
Ambassador
HW Reviewer
Senior HTF Member
Joined
Jun 20, 2000
Messages
18,935
Location
A Mile High
Real Name
John
That's clearly Blade Runner. Must be a behind the scenes bit.
 

rich_d

Senior HTF Member
Joined
Oct 21, 2001
Messages
2,036
Location
Connecticut
Real Name
Rich
Jason:

John Rice is correct. It's from the documentary Dangerous Days. I think this Tyrell Corp. set is memorable.
 

Ruz-El

Fake Shemp
Senior HTF Member
Joined
Sep 20, 2002
Messages
12,539
Location
Deadmonton
Real Name
Russell
the FLIXTER application from FAcebook is pretty ripe with goofy reviews to.

For Hilary Duffs "Cadet Kelly"

I really liked this movie as a kid maybe because I was Hilary Duff fan before she turned all nasty and gross but Ya... I liked this movie.

Watch if you want to see Hilary Duff completely miserable. Other than that, it really has no value.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Sign up for our newsletter

and receive essential news, curated deals, and much more







You will only receive emails from us. We will never sell or distribute your email address to third party companies at any time.

Latest Articles

Forum statistics

Threads
357,052
Messages
5,129,622
Members
144,285
Latest member
acinstallation715
Recent bookmarks
0
Top