1. Visit this thread for your chance to win a selection of Lionsgate action films on UV!
    Dismiss Notice

So, You Think You Know Why The Chicken Crossed the Road?

Discussion in 'After Hours Lounge (Off Topic)' started by Chu Gai, Sep 14, 2004.

  1. Chu Gai

    Chu Gai Lead Actor

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2001
    Messages:
    7,270
    Likes Received:
    1
    The following was sent to me.


    TEACHER:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. To get to the other side.
    PLATO:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. For the greater good.
    ARISTOTLE:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. It is in the nature of chickens to cross roads.
    KARL MARX:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. It was a historical inevitability.
    TIMOTHY LEARY:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
    SADDAM HUSSEIN:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified
    in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
    RONALD REAGAN:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. I forget.
    CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
    ANDERSEN CONSULTING:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Anderson Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking it's physical distribution strategy and implementation process. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Anderson helped the chicken use it's skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chickens, people, processes and technology in support of it's overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Anderson Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution.
    LOUIS FARRAKHAN:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
    MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
    MOSES:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. And God came down from the Heavens, and he said unto the chicken,
    "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
    FOX MULDER:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road for you to believe it?
    RICHARD M. NIXON:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken DID NOT cross the road.
    MACHIAVELLI:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
    JERRY SEINFELD:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. Why does anyone cross the road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was the chicken doing wandering around all over the place anyway?"
    FREUD:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
    BILL GATES:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000 (with integrated
    Internet Seed Explorer), which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
    OLIVER STONE:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who is crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?
    DARWIN:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are genetically disposed to cross roads.
    EINSTEIN:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
    BUDDHA:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. Asking the question denies your own chicken nature.
    RALPH WALDO EMERSON:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. The chicken did not cross the road - it transcended it.
    ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. To die. In the rain.
    COLONEL SAUNDERS:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. I missed one?
    BILL CLINTON:
    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. I did not have sexual relationships with that chicken.
     
  2. Bill Williams

    Bill Williams Screenwriter

    Joined:
    May 28, 2003
    Messages:
    1,699
    Likes Received:
    0
    Truett Cathy:

    Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A: To get to the Chick-Fil-A.

    [​IMG]
     
  3. Robert_Gaither

    Robert_Gaither Screenwriter

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2002
    Messages:
    1,370
    Likes Received:
    0
    Me:

    Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A: What to do you expect it to do, play in the middle of the road with traffic? If it didn't make it... oh well it gets to be a candidate for the Darwin award.
     

Share This Page