so... who believes in soul mates? (1 Viewer)

[Brad_W]

Unfortunately my wife and I are soul mates. Everything about our meeting was... fate. Now I won't be able to get rid of her.

Fated meeting includes:

1. I hung out with her brother for 2 years and he never mentioned that he had a sister. She lived is South Dakota for most of her life and only recently moved to Michigan. I stopped hanging out with her brother and six months later, completely out of the blue and without warning, I showed up at his house. Low and behold she was also there. She was going to be there the week before, but there was a violent snow storm and she couldn't make it. Yeah, fate.

2. She and I both worked at video stores at the time of our meeting.

3. The roofies kicked in.

 

[David Ren]

Brad W, and you hadn't have met her, you would've met some other girl who you'd think is your soul mate.

Dave

 

[Max Leung]

I am hijacking this thread a little bit, with a link to an article/discussion that MIGHT interest some of you:
Starter Marriages?
(A rant/article on the high divorce rate of young gen-xers, quoting from another article on the subject.)
One interesting response:

I think the problem with us kids today (lol) is that, when it comes to relationships, we really have no decent role models. I surmise that back in our parents and grandparents day, it was probably somewhat easier to meet someone and get hitched. The idea of getting married and having a family was much more ingrained back then, and there was probably a social system to facilitate meeting other people.
Nowadays, it's so much harder to meet people. Unless you happen to stay in the same small town all your life, the process of meeting someone usually entails a series of chance meetings and frequent dating. Not to mention that people nowadays have some lofty and unrealistic ideals concerning relationships. Most of us have come from divorced families, and our ideas about relationships have largely come from popular media or peer groups.
A prime example is the philosophy of "soulmates", or the idea that one person out there was meant just for us. Just like some Hollywood movie or something, our Prince(ss) Charming will come along and we'll fall deeply in love. Not to say that such a thing couldn't happen, but when it becomes the primary criteria for a relationship, it's no wonder people become so confused. And one more thing: I get kind of annoyed when people always use the term "GenX" to refer to whatever the young people are doing today. Surely some GenX-ers have tried this marriage approach. But if I recall correctly, GenX was the generation born between 1966 and 1975 (or something like that). That makes the youngest GenX-ers somewhere in their mid to late 20's, which is the point that most people start settling down anyway. So next time you want to complain about the young people, try avoiding the tired GenX cliche.

 

[Tony_Faville]

I absolutely believe in them. I went through 7.5 years of marriage hell, swore to never do it again and found my soulmate a few months later. We just celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary this past December.

 

[Dean DeMass]

But if I recall correctly, GenX was the generation born between 1966 and 1975 (or something like that). That makes the youngest GenX-ers somewhere in their mid to late 20's, which is the point that most people start settling down anyway. So next time you want to complain about the young people, try avoiding the tired GenX cliche.

I was born in 1975, will be 27 years old in a couple of weeks, and I am getting ready for my 1st divorce.
Soulmates? No such thing. All you can do is hope that you can have a wonderful person in your life who will do nothing but love and support you. But there is no perfect person out there. Not in my book. The girl I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life is not that person and it does make me a bit sad. But the good thing is that I now know that there is someone out there who would appreciate me more than she does.
Well, I am off to start looking for the future Ex-Mrs. Dean DeMass.
-Dean-

 

[Kenneth]

As others have mentioned I don't believe that there is one (or more than one person) that is "fated" to meet you and be your mate forever. However, I do believe there is a limited number of people who are perfect (or nearly perfect matches for you). This does not mean that you will have a slam dunk and will never have to work at the relationship, but that if you both work at it, the relationship will ultimately succeed. I think the characteristics of your "soulmate" would likely be:

- someone who wants to be in a relationship as much as you (not more and definitely not less)

- someone who has the same goals in life (if you want money and success you will not generally match up well with a person who wants a less structured life)

- someone who has the same biological urges (children should be something both partners feel equally strong about and other proclivities should match "wink wink, nudge nudge, know what I mean)

- someone who matches your temperment (if you are fiery then although an opposite might work out, it will require far more work)

- someone who likes/loves you for being you (people that marry or have relationships in the hopes of making their partner something new or different are generally doomed from the start)

There are certainly other traits. I think too many people get caught up in their senses (particularly men, I think) and don't let their brain think things through. Although the physical portion of a relationship is important, it will never carry incompatible persons through any length of time. Just my take.

Kenneth

 

[Rachael B]

Soulmates....yeah, I've had hundreds of them!

 

[Evan S]

I don't believe in categorizing relationships in regards to terms like "Soulmates" because I feel it puts too much pressure on the relationship. What if you feel you are with your "soulmate" and it doesn't work out? You end up feeling more like a failure then you would have if you just looked at the relationship from the outside and analyzed what went wrong.

I tend to think optimistically about these kind of things. I feel if you are "meant" to be with someone, you will. Somehow, someway, you will find that person. Is this "fate"? I'm not sure. But I find that looking at relationships in this way keeps me sane.

I just got out of a 15 month relationship with a woman who was totally unappreciative of what I gave her and someone who totally took me for granted. Unfortunately, she allowed me to fall OUT of love with her before changing her ways and now I just feel jaded.

One thing I haven't heard mentioned in this thread is that in order to be a "soulmate" with someone, you must first be their best friend. I've had plenty of girlfriends in my time, but I'm 30 and have never been married and am presently single. Not once have I felt I was ever dating someone I would consider my best friend. I think that's huge in any relationship. I presently live with two women right now...one who I consider a perfect match for myself and one of my best friends. I'm desperately attracted to her and have realized this for about 4 months now. Unfortunately, she's one of my ex-girlfriend's best friends. In order for me to keep my sanity, I have to believe that if we are meant to be together one day, we will. Until that day, I take it one day at a time.

By the way, she knows I care about her in this way and has divulged her attraction and affinity towards me as well, so time will tell. I remain optimistic.

 

[Jeffrey Noel]

Well, if I do have a soul-mate and find her, I hope she has big boobies!

 

[Carl Johnson]