Snake! Help! (1 Viewer)

[Ryan Wright]

Gopher snake. Will be 72 inches long when he grows up.

Sweet! Is he a pet?

I wouldn't mind a pet snake. Had one as a kid. The problem is the smell...

 

[NickSo]

I like snakes... but not the poisonous ones.. its okay on TV they're interesting.. but when i hear ANY kind of rattle in rattlesnake country (i usually mistake the dry grass rustling for rattling), im scared to death.

 

[ChrisMatson]

Depending on how close you live to Texas, you could try getting this jerk to remove it for you...

http://www.click2houston.com/news/2165653/detail.html

 

[Ryan Wright]

That's awful. Don't they have people that can relocate these animals to a swamp somewhere? For crying out loud, it wasn't terrorizing the neighborhood or attacking people. It was just wandering around. So you get the Crocodile Hunter to put the gator in a bag eh, move that beauty to a swamp and release him.

I watched the video. That SOB should be jailed for what he did to that animal.

 

[Julian Reville]

That was a really stupid thing to do, but the guy probably thought he was doing the right thing at the time. Can you imagine the outcry if he had left it there while trying to get assistance, and it had eaten someone's dog (or child)?

Still, he stepped on his crank on this one.

 

[ChrisMatson]

There are too many other options available to move an alligator to justify this guy's actions. He could have slipped a muzzle around its mouth and duct-taped it shut. He could have sat there in his truck and made sure no one approached it to get hurt. He could have called for help from someone who knew what to do.

This jackass surely should have known that people will get offended when ANYTHING is dragged behind a truck. Especially in Texas...

 

[Shawn Bridges]

Is he still in my garage? After he settled down from the tong incident he went back outside, right? I mean, he's an "outdoor snake" isn't he? He's not lying in wait in the garage waiting to ambush us is he?

If there is plenty of his natural prey living in your garage he could set up shop in there for awhile.

I wouldn't worry worry about it, snakes only bite for two reasons:
1. A feeding response. So if you smell of his natural prey (which is most likely rodents)it may strike.

2. If they feel threatened. So the best thing to do is ignore him.

As Dick had mentioned the myths that snakes are horrible creatures is very prevalent. Both my sons want to get a Ball python. Everyone (well just about everyone)I know thinks my wife and I are crazy for agreeing to it.

 

[Garrett Lundy]

Is it growling? A growling snake is a sure sign that it is indeed not a snake, but a werewolf disguised as a snake so you won't think to kill it with a silver shovel.

 

[JayV]

A growling snake is a sure sign that it is indeed not a snake, but a werewolf disguised as a snake ...

I don't know what nut you heard this from, but this is a common internet myth. There are no documented cases of werewolves disguised as snakes.

This ridiculous legend arose with an increase in incidence of weresnakes with damaged trachaea [Journal of American Psychoherpetology Fall 2002]. When these noble creatures try to hiss majestically they are unable to elicit anything but a growl.

This increase of damaged trachaea has been traced to the explosion in the early 1990's of weresnake employment in professions that require a lot of speaking, notably collect call commercials on television.

This mass phobia regarding weresnakes must be curbed with education.

-j

 

[BrettB]

Update.

The snake is no longer a problem. I saw him last night in pretty much the exact same spot where he was the other night (sidewalk near corner of garage).

My first action was to try and contain him by covering him with a plastic bucket. The degree to which this tactic worked was on par with the tong technique. The sidewalk was not flat/level due to numerous slopes to shed water from the house. Within seconds the demon was slithering out from under the bucket.

After the bucket escape, my next step was to keep him from returning to the garage. Using the flashlight I attempted to steer him away from the house toward the grass, but the bastard spawn of Satan was having none of that. He seemed intent on heading toward the garage. He was quite aggressive, lunging several times at the flashlight. Eventually he slithered down into the crack between the driveway and the grass as my yard is always well kept including the edging.

Now it was time to liberate myself, my family and my cat from the unholy torment the beast had brought upon us.

I poked at the devil near the tail end until he abandoned the safety of the crack and moved onto the grass.

Now, the weapon of choice, the instrument of his demise...

a glass Mr. Peanut jar.

While distrating him with the flashlight in my left hand I grabbed him behind the head with my right hand. The monster thrashed about wildly but his fate was sealed. I lowered him tail end first into the Mr. Peanut jar, let go of him and as quickly as I could set the top hat lid in place.

The adrenaline was still pumping as I drove to the large open field with pond a few blocks from my home.

I removed the top hat and poured the vile creation onto the ground.

Then it happened. As I was cursing him, preparing to leave and taking one last look, he turned and...and...I believe he...

smiled at me.

I left the field with a new understanding, a special knowledge, but also with a heavy heart, for I shall never see him again. Goodbye snake, farewell you majestic creature, and good luck in your travels.

 

[Chris Moe]

Thank you for not killing it.

 

[Adil M]

Bravo. (clap clap)

I personally would have eaten him. You hunted him and it was your choice. Can you see the look on your family's face when you feed them some snake while you tell them the story?
(Just adding to the other bizarre options given.)

 

[Malcolm R]

I can't believe you actually grabbed it with your bare hands.

Hopefully it didn't hatch any eggs under your house.

 

[JayV]

Update.

And I wonder if the update to the update will involve him rescuing you from a burning car and then nursing you back to health.

-j

 

[Julian Reville]

for I shall never see him again

Wanna bet? $5 says he'll be back within a month. It's destiny.

 

[Jay H]

Either that or a Mallard Duck will follow his car back to his garage and take up residense in his furnace room.

Jay

 

[Mark Barnhill]

Silly Malcolm, snakes lay eggs in your hair... no.. wait, never mind, that's bats.

 

[Jason_Els]

I too am very happy you've humanely removed the snake. But it does present another issue you have to face.

Why would a snake take up residence in your garage if there wasn't anything to eat nearby?

The snake was likely quite happy and effectively disposing of vermin in and around the garage so now that the predator is gone you may have to deal with an infestation of some sort. Keep an eye out!

 

[Dennis Nicholls]

So did the snake ever come back? How about the vermin?

To determine if the snake is poisonous you can examine the shape of his head (round is good, triangular is bad) and the shape of his pupils (round is good, vertical slit is bad). Also you can check for fangs, versus teeth (self-explanatory). Unfortunately, this requires getting closer than I really like.

Triangular head...check.
Vertical slit pupils...check.
Fangs...check.

Oh my goodness, Fluffy Pumpkin is a SNAKE.

 

[Aaron Reynolds]

Oh my God -- are you a fan of Hard Ticket To Hawaii??