Directors Simpsons Character Draft! Excccccelllllent! (1 Viewer)

[Ric Bagoly]

Nelson Muntz

-"Ha-HAH!"

 

[Scott Weinberg]

"This sounds like rock and/or roll."

"Homer, God didn't burn your house down. But he was working in the hands of your friends and neighbors, be they Christian... Jew... or miscellaneous."

"Today's Christian doesn't think he needs God. He's got his Hi Fi, his boob tube, and his instant pizza pie..."

"Once something has been approved by the Government it's no longer immoral."

"This is very sad news, and it wouldnt've never happened if the wedding would've been inside the church with God, instead of out here in the cheap showiness of nature."

"Ned, have you thought about one of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same."

"I remember another gentle visitor from the heavens. He came in peace and then died, only to come back to life, and his name was..E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial. I loved that little guy."

"This so-called 'new religion' is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants designed to take away the money of fools. Let us say the Lord's prayer 40 times, but first let's pass the collection plate."

"Dearly beloved, I will now read the special vows which Homer has prepared for this occasion. Do you Marge take Homer in richness and poorness, poorness is underlined, in impotence and im-potence, in quiet solitude or blasting across the alkali flats in a jet powered monkey navigated...and it goes on like this..."

"Flanders again? What did he do now, swallow a bug?"

"And as we pass the collection plate, please give as if the person next to you was watching."

Reverend Timothy Lovejoy

 

[Scott Weinberg]

Matt's Pick:

"Now, over the years a newsman learns a number of things that for one reason or another, he just cannot report. It doesn't seem to matter now, so...the following people are gay..."

"Did you know that 34 million Americans are obese? Taken together, that excess blubber could fill the Grand Canyon two-fifths of the way up. That may not sound impressive, but keep in mind, it is a very big canyon."

"Welcome to another edition to 'Smartline'. Are cartoons too violent for children? Most people would say 'no, of course not, what kind of stupid question is that?' But one woman says 'yes'...Marge Simpson."

"And in environmental news, scientists have announced that Springfield's air is now only dangerous to children and the elderly."

"Top 'o the morning to ye on this gray, drizzly afternoon. Kent 'O Brockman live on Main Street, where today everyone is a little bit Irish! Heh heh, except of course for the gays and Italians."

"Thousands of people are gunned down each day in Springfield, but until now none of them where important"

"Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside?"

"...and that fluffy kitten played with that ball of string, all through the night. And on a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered..."

"Ladies and gentlemen, uh, we've just lost the picture, but what we've seen speaks for itself. The Corvair spacecraft has apparently been taken over- 'conquered' if you will- by a master race of giant space ants. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive Earthman or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves."

Kent Brockman

(a.k.a. Kenny Brocklestein)

 

[ThomasC]

Double damn it!

 

[Scott Weinberg]

I know how you feel, Tom. I would have liked both Moe and Quimby on my list.

Clearly we're participating with men who know where the best of The Simpsons material comes from.

 

[Nick Sievers]

My picks:

Lenny

"So I said to the cop, No! you're under the influence, of being a jerk!"



Homer: "Lenny had an accident at work"
Marge: "OH NO NOT LENNY, ANYONE BUT LENNY!!"
Kids: "Not Lenny!"

and

"I don't get it everyone likes rats, but they won't drink the rats milk?"

Fat Tony



"I don't get mad. I get stabby."

 

[ThomasC]

Mr. Stone, please pick up the white courtesy phone.

 

[Matt Stone]

Sorry for the hold-up.

Otto



"Wow! I've never been referred to as an adult before. I've been tried as one."

"They call 'em "fingers," but I never see 'em fing. Oh wait, there they go."

 

[Scott Weinberg]

"Uh heh heh heh heh!"

Dr. Julius Hibbert

Dr. Julius Hibbert likes to laugh. He has a sweet, infectious giggle that wafts through the examining rooms of his private practice and through the halls of Springfield Hospital. He usually laughs when offering his diagnoses to patients, which leads some people to think him a bit insensitive. But he's just a happy guy. A very happy guy. Dr. Hibbert has two kids and supportive wife. He is known throughout Springfield as the best doctor money can buy. Unless you have no money, in which case you'll be seeing Dr. Nick Riviera.

 

[Scott Weinberg]

Ric, Tom, Mike Brad...

 

[Ric Bagoly]

Rainer Wolfcastle aka McBain

-"Okay, give me a minute to get into character."

-"Time to take out da trash."

The Critic: "How do you sleep at night?"

-"On top of a big pile of money, surrounded by many beautiful women."

-"MENDOZA!"

 

[Nick Sievers]

Thought Hibbert would go soon, I was so close to picking him.

 

[Brad Porter]

Rainer Wolfcastle

Grrrrrrrrrr!

Wolfcastle: "Hey that jacket makes you look like a homosexual."

Audience: Boooooooo!

Wolfcastle: Maybe you are ALL homosexuals!

 

[ThomasC]

"Did you know that disco record sales were up 400% for the year ending 1976? If these trends continues...AAY!"

Disco Stu

 

[Scott Weinberg]

Mike? Bradford?

 

[Brad Porter]

I'm ready and waiting... for Mike Hutman to steal my pick again.

Brad

 

[Scott Weinberg]

Brad,

You could PM me your pick if you like. I'm apt to overlook 'time limits' during the weekend. Plus we're in no big hurry.

 

[Mike Hutman]

Sorry, I am out of state right now. I will try and get my picks on time, but if I am taking to long just go ahead and skip me.

My pick is for

Hans Moleman

I said Boo-urns

 

[Brad Porter]

Yarrrr! I be selecting Captain McAllister.



Homer takes him to court
McAllister: "Twas a moonless night, dark as pitch, when out of the mist came a beast more stomach than man.
Homer: "Hey!"
McAllister: "So I says to me boatswains, 'batten down the missenmast, Matees.'"
Hutz: "Captain McAllister, isn't it a fact that you're not a real captain?"
McAllister: (lowers his head in shame) "Aye."

A not-so-great lighthouse keeper
Man: "I'm telling you the light would work better if it pointed out to sea."
McAllister: "Arr, shut up. I know what I'm doin'."
(a boat crashes in the distance)
McAllister: "Arr, I hate the sea and everything in it."

Charity Bachelor Auction reject
Krusty: "Come on! He likes sunsets, what more do you want?"
McAllister: "Arr, I'm not attractive."

Brad

Walt's up!

 

[Walt Riarson]

I pick...



Duffman

"Duffman can never die, only the actors who play him."

"Oh, yeah!"

"Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem!"

"Duffman... can't breathe! Oh, no!"

"New feelings brewing in Duffman. What... would Jesus do?"

And...



Jasper

"Well, well...if it isn't the tooth fairy."