Scared of damage to your theater (1 Viewer)

[Robert Ma]

OK,
I need to hear other stories from people to make me feel better. I had a blow out with my wife last night.
Basically, her sister and family came to stay over night as a pit stop on their way to another place. She planned without me to have the 12 and 10 year olds sleep on my home theater's floor.
I thought OK, the floor and its only one night. When they show up, I didn't even have a chance to talk to them before they were bringing in huge suitcases and slamming them in the room. I bit my tongue as one of the suitcases hit my Star Wars poster frame.
Then, the 10 year old sets up camp on the larger couch. I think, no problem and I'd rather sleep on the couch if it was me.
Well, 30 minutes later they are both in the pool. That's it! I say to my wife calmly, "No chlorine covered bodys in the movie room!". Lets swap rooms and the kids can have our bed and we'll take the floor for one night.
She ignores me and treats me like my concerns our ridiculous. So I raised my voice and forced the issue. We switched with the kids.
Has anyone else been in terror for their home theater? My wife is pissed now. I tried to explain to her that kids have accidents all the time and I do not like to have ANYONE in there without me, kid or adult.
Help me loose my guilt
Bob

 

[Charles J P]

I pretty much let my fiance know that her, her family, her friends, my family, my friends, etc can use the room for any kind of entertaining she plans, but anything that gets broken, will immediatly be replaced with something far more expensive.

 

[HenrikTull]

In my house though, there is only 1 rule:
NO ONE TOUCHES MY HOME THEATER BUT ME
That includes even the remotes and the DVD's. Disobey and prepare to meet your maker.

 

[Todd Hochard]

I don't know. I'm of the opinion that if your possessions mean more to you than your family- it's time to seek help.
However, there's really no reason for them to go indiscriminately breaking things. I wouldn't have cringed when they smacked the poster- I would have said something. Not something terribly disciplinary or condescending (to them or your relatives), but just so they know that they need to be careful in your space. But, I'm not sure I understand your chlorine phobia. If they dry off first, is there really going to be an issue? I don't have a pool, so I can't say.
And I agree with Charles- it's rather uncanny that the replacement cost of any HT piece is always higher than the original cost. Why is that?
Todd

 

[Robert Ma]

Well, I have a ton of t-shirts with chlorine stains. Its basically bleach so I have acquired a phobia to it with fabrics. It may be overeating, but my room is safe

 

[Dave Poehlman]

Sheesh, next time I'm drunk in Easton, Bob, I wont be knocking on your door for a place to crash.

 

[JoshF]

Isn't there some saying about possessions ending up owning you?

Sounds to be pretty appropriate here.

While I understand your concern with your property, I think you should have given the benefit of the doubt to the kids, explained to them that the stuff in that room was very important and valuable, and they would probably respect that. If not, THEN you would have a case.

 

[Robert Ma]

Accidents happen though. Just on monday my buddies kids accidently busted an under water pool lamp I just installed for the pool. No big deal, its just a posession and watching the kids have fun is much more important.

But in the case of the movie room, I just prefered to be more cautious. Last year, Matty (my nephew - the 12 year old) stayed in there for a week. I had no problem with it. It was the chlorine phobia that got the best of me. You should see my patio chairs. The chlorine has bleached them to white and they used to be blue. I envisioned partitally wet swim suits on the couches.

I had planned to talk to them about the pool and the room but they got in so late and went in immediately that I didn't even get the chance. I knew that if I hadn't said something to my wife they'd be changing their wet suits in there. It really must be a phobia, LOL.

I must say I am suprised about the reactions I am receiving here of all places. I thought if anyone would understand, they'd be here. I guess I am in the wrong.

 

[Charles J P]

We're not bashing you for wanting to keep your room nice. I used to freak out when my roomates would have parties in college, and our friends would use my Monitor 7s as drink holders. I didnt want big water marks on my speakers. But, now my speakers having made it through college unscathed, I realize that while my previous post was somewhat a joke, if anything ever got slightly damaged, I would live with it, and if it got broken beyond repair and use, I would replace it. Dont sweat the small stuff. As far as the pool, thats different, chlorine can be very damaging to carpet and fabric. I would just tell them that when your done in the pool, you dry off and come inside and change. No going back and forth, or keeping your suit on "in case" you might want to get back in the pool. In or out. Thats it.

 

[Robert Ma]

Charles,

Thats 100% accurate about the pool. And thats what I try to enforce with the tv room. I have hardwood floors and couch covers in the rest of the house so I let the kids come in and out as long as they don't go in the one room.

I just didn't have a chance this time to talk to them. I was upset with my wife for blowing me off when I brought the concern to her while they were swimming. I thought since it was her side of the family, that she should be the one relaying the message. Then, when I figured a simple solution would be for us to sleep in there instead, she wouldn't even talk to me. So the bottom line is, I was more upset with the communication between myself and my wife then I was about the cause of the situation.

 

[Ryan Wright]

Well, Robert, I sympathize with you. I have a rule in my theater room, and that's "no goofing off." Period. My five year old daughter knows better than to play in there. Now, if she's playing with her horses or cards or a puzzle, then sure, she can be in there. I don't mind at all. But horseplay, or tossing objects around, is strictly forbidden.

My biggest problem with this is trying to keep other people's children out of there. The "older" kids (~4 years old on up) are easy, you just ask them to play in the family room instead and they're happy. It's the younger children who can't yet talk that are an issue. They come over and the first thing they want to do is run their grimy little paws all over my 65" widescreen. Then, when you say something, the parents act like you're abusing their child. I want to slap them upside the head and say, "Hey, that TV cost more than my car, so if you don't mind, tell your kid to keep his hands off it."

Our pre-requisite for having friends over is that their children must be well-behaved. I don't mind the kids, but I don't want them running wild through my house. Parents who allow their children (especially toddlers) to do their own thing just aren't invited back. I supervised my daughter when she was that age and I expect others to do the same.

Robert, as for your issue: The swimming pool thing could have been easily fixed - you just inform the kids they're going to have to hose themselves off with clean water, dry and change clothes before returning to the room. Problem solved. So, on that issue, I think you went overboard. Now, if these kids are the careless type (as many are) who are constantly damaging or getting into things, then I totally support you in not wanting them to stay in there. Not for the chlorine issue as that could have been easily remedied, but due to the type of children they are.

That said: Apologize to your wife for your behavior. Really. Tell her that in the future, you would prefer that she consult you before allowing anybody to stay or play in your home theater, but that you are sorry for your anger. That should smooth things over somewhat.

 

[Andrew W]

There's nothing wrong with taking reasonable steps to ensure that children don't damage valuable property.

If you wife had a room of porcelain vases and statues, would she be willing to let the kids sleep in there unsupervised???

The best way is to make sure everyone that comes to your home understands *your* house rules. This includes other family members. We have several which include:

No whining.
No spousal fighting.
No walking on furniture.
NO touching the movie figures.
No jumping on beds.
HT equipment can only be operated by adults that have been briefed on how to use it.
Be nice to our animals.

My wife and I make it clear to all visitors and their kids what is expected and we will discipline the kids if the parents don't.

PS: Our daughter has to follow these rules no matter where we go. Even if walking on furniture may be allowed in someone elses home.

Andy

 

[John Besse]

Hmm, I wont let anyone touch my equiptment. Except for a hurricane. Then I can claim that I had Wilson Audio Grand Slam speakers all around with a DLP projector!

 

[Chet_F]

Sounds like you need to communicate with her the importance of your HT room prior to family coming over. Just my opinion. I know when I was a kid their was a strange room called the "living room". The reason this room was so strange was because no one ever lived in this room unless they were adult guests. But I obviously understood the importance of this room to my mother. She communicated this to me quiet frequently. I know nothing of your specific situation besides what you have said but does your wife have a room like this? Just and idea. And even though I do not have an immaculate HT room setup I know the importance of a major hobby such as this. Communication is the key to this situation. It is obvious she does not understnad the importance of this hobby of yours just like a great deal of people do not understand the importance of let's say classic cars or hot rods, etc.
Good luck.....

 

[Jack Briggs]

You have every right to be adamant that your rules regarding your home theater are observed. It's your pride and joy, in which you've invested heavily in finances and in emotion. Your house, your home theater, your rules.

 

[Robert Ma]

Ryan,
I know what you mean with some other parents. I find that some people feel like they can take a parenting break when they are over other people's homes and let the homeowner chase their kids. When I take my son anywhere, I watch him as closely as I would anywhere else.
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Chet,
Communication is key to any relationship and we can definatley improve in that area. Both of us know....
She does know how much the room means to me, and to her as a matter of fact. She even brags about the setup to her family and friends. I guess she was so excited to see her sister that it really didn't matter and phase her to bring it up. I understand that. On the other side, when I brought it up she could have been more understanding to me.
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Jack, Thanks for the positive re-enforncement of my rules. You mean I'm not crazy after all
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As far as her having delicate stuff...she doesn't collect much. But the crystal candle sticks and all the other candle stuff she loves packs up neatly when needed to be put away.
I did consider giving the "special show towels" to the kids to dry off with. That would get a rise.......
.....I would never do that. Funny though, what is it with women and towels that you're not supposed to use? LOL.

 

[Joseph DeMartino]

. It was the chlorine phobia that got the best of me. You should see my patio chairs. The chlorine has bleached them to white and they used to be blue. I envisioned partitally wet swim suits on the couches.

So you go outside and tell the kids that while they're still in the pool instead of having a fight with your wife about it. Simple procedure: After swimming, before going into the rooms in the house, the little darlings have to bathe or shower and change. Now you don't have to worry about your chlorine paranoia. BTW, if your patio furniture has been ruined by chlorine, it was obviously not designed for poolside use - either that or you're using absolutely insane levels of chlorine in your pool. Either way I would suggest that it was poor planning on your part (not taking the chlorine effect into account) rather than anything your guests did wrong that led to that problem.

BTW, chlorine or no chlorine, anybody with the faintest trace of manners would know better than to leave a wet anything on someone's furniture. But, again, this is something you could have reminded them about while they were in the pool and you were generally going over "the rules".

Regards,

Joe

 

[Chet_F]

"Funny though, what is it with women and towels that you're not supposed to use? "
The same as HT equipment your not supposed to touch

 

[Robert Ma]

Joseph,

You are correct. I could have told them while they were in the pool. Or, my wife could have also. Even though they are family-in-laws, I have only met them twice and I would have been more comfortable with my wife handling it. If I saw them on a regular basis, I would have felt more comfortable.

I do not over chlorinate the pool. In fact, I keep the minimal for what my test strips show a safe pool rating.

You are also correct about the patio furniture. It wasn't designed for near pool usage. Neither were the couches in my theater room, or the rug for that matter.

Also, I do not feel my guests did anything wrong at all. I never said they did. I was upset with my wife not caring about my concerns.

 

[Robert Ma]

Chet,
Got me )