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Recommendations For (Alcohol - Sobriety - Recovery) Inspiration?

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Jeff_A, Feb 16, 2003.

  1. Jeff_A

    Jeff_A Screenwriter

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    Imagine . . . Yesterday morning I awoke and realized that I was an alcoholic. After fighting through some very thankful tears that my loving wife and beautiful daughter were still with me, I felt as if a tremendous weight had been lifted off of me.

    Now I am looking for some inspiration. Can anyone recommend any books or films which may be especially helpful to someone in the early stages of recovery? Thanks so much.
     
  2. Greg Kolinski

    Greg Kolinski Second Unit

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  3. Dheiner

    Dheiner Gazoo

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    Well, Jeff, welcome to the club. The same thing happened to me, Thanksgiving 1989.

    My first thought echoes Gregs'; go to lots of meetings.

    For movies, maybe "My Name Is Bill W.", or "Clean & Sober"

    Besides "The Big Book", try "A New Pair of Glasses" by Chuck Chamberlain. On a more "entertaining" level, if you like mysteries, Lawrence Blocks' Matt Scudder series follows a PI through his descent and recovery. For you I'd recommend starting with "When the Sacred Ginmill Closes", or "Eight Million Ways to Die."
     
  4. dave_brogli

    dave_brogli Screenwriter

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    For movies you want a good movie..... "when a man loves a woman." (with meg ryan) great movie.
    As for your addiction. people have always said go to 90 meetings in 90 days. I have known alot of people, including MYSELF, who have gotten burnt out on all of AA's ideals and all from this. Try hitting 60 in the next 3 months. You cant give your WHOLE life to AA. You already faced admitting your problem (only 11 more steps to go lol) Find a sponsor. Someone thats been clean for atleast 5-10 years...... preferably male. You will always have us here. After being in intensive inpatient AA/NA treatment for 6 months Ive seen alot.


    DONT LOSE YOUR FAMILY BECAUSE OF ANOTHER DRUNK



    good luck you will be in my prayers[​IMG]
     
  5. Christopher P

    Christopher P Supporting Actor

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    I definitely agree with going to AA meetings to start, if only to see how much they'll work for you. Different people commit themelves to AA in different ways...some people live their life around it, others make it only a part of their recovery. Do whatever works best for you.

    You already made, arguably, the first step. But it's not neessarily easier from here. The biggest thing I learned...alcohol wasn't my biggest problem. Alcohol was how I dealt (or refused to deal) with my real problems. Once I stoped drining, then I could deal with them.

    I will say you'll have to start making changes right way..where you go, who you hang out with. That can be a tough change at first. I'm sorry I have no suggestions for books or films. But I wish you luck.

    Chris
     
  6. Christ Reynolds

    Christ Reynolds Producer

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    although i dont have any advice for you, i'd just like to wish you the best of luck. youve made a brave first step, i hope all goes well.

    CJ
     
  7. John Miles

    John Miles Stunt Coordinator

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  8. Rain

    Rain Producer

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    I don't really have any advice, but I just wanted to say Good Luck.

    My mother is and always has been an alcholic...and the kind that doesn't just get drunk, but who has to go out of her way to make everyone else miserable... Not fun. [​IMG]
     
  9. John_Bonner

    John_Bonner Supporting Actor

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    Jeff,

    All I can say is Good Luck and hang in there brother!
    As someone previosly mentioned, admitting you've got a problem is the first step in the process.

    Look around and see all that you have to be thankful for...a loving and supportive wife, a daughter whom I'm sure is the apple of your eye and people to lean on when you need them.

    I remember you once wrote that you're a former drummer (me too). For inspiration look no further than Mike Portnoy of Dream Theater who is an amazing drummer and a recovering alcoholic. Just take it day by day....
     
  10. Steve Schaffer

    Steve Schaffer Producer

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    HI Jeff!

    For inspiration think of never having to wake up with one of those god-awful hangovers that seems to last all day. Never having to worry about the consequences of drunk driving. Never waking up and not remembering what you did the night before.

    The best way to learn right now is to go to lots of meetings and listen to others share their experiences. Listen long enough and you will begin to identify and realize you're not unique, that these folks have something you want more than booze and they're anxious to share it with you. We're so used to so much psychobabble these days that AA, a sorta homemade thing invented by a failing stockbroker and a general practitioner over 60 years ago seems way too simple and naive to possibly work, but it does, and better than anything else so far.

    Get a tough sponsor who will actually make you work the 12 steps. Bug the hell out of him. You will make many new friends who truly care about you and love you, and won't be afraid to tell you when you're fucking up.

    You will learn that you can have more fun sober than you ever had drinking. Your senses will come alive without the dulling haze of alcohol. You'll find great pleasure in simple things. You'll stay up all night drinking coffee and playing board games. With no booze to spend your money on you'll be amazed at how much spare cash you have laying around.





    Hollywood has rarely gotten alcoholism "right". Clean and Sober came kinda close. Leaving Las Vegas might make a newbie think "I'm not that bad, maybe I'm not really an alcoholic"--not recommended for newcomers.

    There are "low bottom" drunks like in Leaving Las Vegas, but movies and books rarely deal with those of us who haven't lost everything but are nevertheless just as alcoholic as any skid row wino.

    After 6 months or a year of AA, watch "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"--with your new perspective you may just laugh your ass off.
     
  11. Jim_F

    Jim_F Screenwriter

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    Don't drink Any train of thought that ends in "have a drink." contains an inherent flaw. Myself, I made the mistake of seeking other drugs to "relax and unwind" when the alcohol got out of hand. That choice resulted in the the most nightmarish couple of years of my life.

    Go to meetings I was one of those who went to 90 meetings in 90 days. It was easier for me than for some folks, as I was single and unemployed. Just bear in mind that you can lose all those things that presently occupy your time if you don't do what you need to do to stay sober. Try to keep an open mind. You'll encounter your share of windy BSers, but you'll also hear from those who will save your life.

    It gets better.
     
  12. Jeff_A

    Jeff_A Screenwriter

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    I want to thank each and everyone of you for information, recommendations, support, well-wishes, and perhaps most importantly, your prayers. You are a fantastic group of people and this I have always known. [​IMG]

    Greg, your email address was especially thoughtful. I may need it.

    John D, it was comforting to see a name I am very familiar with here. I will look into all of your great recommendations.

    John B, my issues probably took-off and truly developed during my performing days almost twenty years ago. Sadly, one of the most difficult things I may face initially is disassociating myself from even listening to music - it was one of my most serious alcohol triggers. One day I hope that I am able to establish a love affair with it once again.

    Steve, extremely wise words. I will consider them very closely.

    Once again, my thanks to everyone!
     
  13. Dave Morton

    Dave Morton Supporting Actor

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  14. brentl

    brentl Cinematographer

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    I have a buddy that I've known for about 17 years. He admitted to me just last weekend that he was days from dying due to his drinking.

    He's been clean for almost 2 years now.

    The friends you've lost over the way you acted. The people you hurt with the things you said, will come back to you when they see the real you again.

    People will notice the difference in you.

    My buddy says it was the greatest thing he ever did. He says it feels good to be in control finally.

    I admit, that I walked away from my buddy for a couple years when he was at his worst. NOT because I didn't care, but it hurt too much and he was unwilling to change.

    I almost started crying when he explained how close to death he was.

    Your friends and family will forgive you, and life will be alot better now. You have started the recovery phase ... great!

    Good luck, Brent
     
  15. StephenA

    StephenA Screenwriter

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    My mom was an alcoholic when I was younger, partly due to my dad, who got her started. It used to scare me when she came home drunk, because she didn't act like herself and was very touchy feely, loud, and got angry easily. Luckily my stepfather got her to stop drinking, by showing her how it affected me. I'm glad she stopped, due to her health problems now.

    about two and a half years ago when I turned 21, I started drinking. It started getting bad. It was this past April when I realized I needed to stop or I'd become an alcoholic after I went on a drinking binge with with a bunch of tequila, Smirnoff Ice, and beer. I blacked out and couldn't remember most of the night. It was crazy, and I hated the feeling of not remembering. My cousin still drinks heavily though, and denies he has a problem.

    I was going for a year of not drinking, but screwed up a few weeks ago when I visited my cousin. I ended up drinking a little and got slightly drunk. My goal lasted 9 months. Didn't beat myself up. Just figured I'd go day by day instead to make it easier. So there's my story.

    Good luck to you. You'll be able to beat it, especially since you have loved ones with you. It's hard, but you'll get through it all.
     
  16. Tony_Woods

    Tony_Woods Stunt Coordinator

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    John, dude another DT fan! I thought I was the only one around here...I've seen them live 3 times now, it's awesome.
     
  17. AdamM

    AdamM Extra

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    You will need help early on, family and AA are best in my experience. Read Jim_F's post again, and think that's just 1 meeting today... You should also ask your family to attend Al-anon meetings. This was the biggest help to my family before I started recovery and after. Keep your guard up, it's the little things that make you slip. Find a sponser that will help you work a program. They should be stable, commited to the program and available.
    I've been sober for 9 1/2 years, through the grace of God. I can come up with plenty of reason to drink I just choose not to...

    I wish you the best.
     
  18. MikeMcGrew

    MikeMcGrew Stunt Coordinator

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    Christopher P makes a great point and I second it. Now that you know/accept your situation, you have to try and find the cause. I have been 100% sober for just under five years now and my whole life has changed dramatically for the better. As a matter of fact, I graduated from college with a BA about a month ago and I couldn't be more proud. I have never been much of an AA person but, I deffinitely had to work the steps in my own way/order. I made the decision to stop drinking and found a really good therapist. She helped me to work through issues that had manifested themselves in who I was. I knew they existed but never wanted to confront them on my own. I was drinking to escape/avoid being honest and letting myself feel hurt. I'm not saying that's your story, only trying to share a little of mine. My therapist said that I was ready to work through these issues and it didn't take much, only a few really heavy sessions, and they were resolved. My suggestion is good professional help. Try and find someone who has been through it. A sponsor is a great idea because he will help you with the every day stuff. Often times it takes a pro to dig a little deeper. Sounds like you have a decent support system started. Build on that and the biggest thing is do your absolute best to be 100% honest with yourself and your support people. Without being honest, it's only a sham. If you have money concerns, check into programs that your state has available. I used State Vocational Rehabilitation for asisstance. They are a program that focusses primarily on employment but they will pay for the therapy and even school if your surroundings/job are deemed as unhealthy (ie. restaraunt business). Anyway, it will not be easy but you are on the right track. If you ever need to talk, you can email me. Good luck to you Bro. MM
     

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