Quiz show funnies

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Steve Christou, Oct 24, 2002.

  1. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2000
    Messages:
    15,814
    Likes Received:
    415
    Trophy Points:
    9,110
    Location:
    Manchester, England
    Real Name:
    Steve Christou
    Heres something to make you smile, they were taken from various tv quiz shows and posted on the net. I laughed out loud at some of these, some really stupid answers, but hey we're only human![​IMG]
    Q: What does a planet orbit around?
    Contestant 1: The galaxy?
    Contestant 2: The moon?
    Q: What is origami?
    Contestant: A herb.
    Q:How many metres are there in a kilometre?
    Contestant: Three.
    Q: What’s the Prince of Wales’s Christian name?
    Contestant: Err...
    Q: Here’s a clue: he was married to Diana.
    Contestant: Err...
    Q: It begins with a ‘C’.
    Contestant: No idea.
    Q: In which US state can you find Los Angeles, San Francisco and lots of big bears?
    Contestant: Florida.
    Q: No, it's on the other side.
    Contestant: New York.
    Q: What planet is named after the goddess of love?
    Contestant: Neptune.
    Q: Who was Bill Clinton's vice president?
    Contestant: I don't know.
    Q: Come on, he also stood for president himself. You know, Al...
    Contestant: Al Jolson.
    Q: Who did Britain go to war with over the Falklands?
    Contestant: Er...
    Q: It's a South American country.
    Contestant: Iran?
    Q: What is the capital of France?
    Contestant: Belgium.
    Q: If I travel at 60 miles an hour, how far do I travel in ten minutes?
    Contestant: Two hundred thousand miles.
    Anne Robinson: Which Cluedo character has a military rank?
    Contestant: Colonel Sanders.
    Anne Robinson: How many hours are there in three days?
    Contestant (thinking Anne said how many r’s): One.
    AR: What was the sequel to the movie 'I Know What You Did Last Summer'?
    Contestant: I Know What You Did Last Winter?
    AR: Who wrote 'Cat on a Hot Tin Roof'?
    Contestant: Dr Seuss.
    Q: What’s the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.?
    Contestant: William Shakespeare.
    AR: In sport, the name of which famous racehorse was the word “murder” spelt backwards?
    Contestant: Shergar.
    AR: In which film did Dudley Moore star as the title character?
    Contestant: 10
    AR: What man-made structure built during the 3rd century BC is often said to be visible from space?
    Contestant: The Millennium Dome.
    Q: Which South American politician overthrew Allende in a coup?
    Contestant 1: Ayatollah Khomeini?
    Contestant 2: Chile?
    Q: What is another name for "cherrypickers" and "cheesemongers"?
    Contestant: Homosexuals?
    Q: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.
     
  2. Cam S

    Cam S Screenwriter

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2002
    Messages:
    1,524
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Hahaha, some of those are really funny. What game shows are they from??
     
  3. Evan S

    Evan S Cinematographer

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2001
    Messages:
    2,210
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Don't forget the all-time classic from the Newlywed Game...

    Host Bob Eubanks: "What's the most unusual place you and your husband have had sex?"

    Contestant: "God...my Mom might be watching! I'd have to say...In the butt, Bob"
     
  4. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2000
    Messages:
    15,814
    Likes Received:
    415
    Trophy Points:
    9,110
    Location:
    Manchester, England
    Real Name:
    Steve Christou
    Cam, I'm embarrassed to say they're mostly from British quiz shows like The Weakest Link [cringes].:b
     
  5. Cam S

    Cam S Screenwriter

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2002
    Messages:
    1,524
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    The Weakest Link is british?? Is Anne Robinson that lady bitch from hell who never cracks a smile?
     
  6. John Torrez

    John Torrez Second Unit

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2000
    Messages:
    311
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I never liked TWL with Anne, I think it's much better with George Gray. He's much funnier, he comes up with bettter insults, and you can understand what he's saying!
     
  7. Anders Englund

    Anders Englund Second Unit

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 1999
    Messages:
    426
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Here's a good one from Jay Leno:

    Jay: Who did we fight in the civil war?
    Guy in the street: Uh... Mexico?

    --Anders
     
  8. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2000
    Messages:
    15,814
    Likes Received:
    415
    Trophy Points:
    9,110
    Location:
    Manchester, England
    Real Name:
    Steve Christou
    Well I don't know who George Gray is, but believe me Anne Robinson is our worst nightmare over here, think of your worst head teacher and magnify by a factor of 10.

    Here are some more silly answers...

    Q: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
    Contestant: Er...
    Q: He makes bread...
    Contestant: Er...
    Q: He makes cakes...
    Contestant: Kipling Street?

    Q: Which actress starred in Sleepless in Seattle and When Harry Met Sally?
    Contestant: Tom Hanks.

    Q: Which desert war did Britain take part in 10 years ago today?
    Contestant: The Falklands.

    Q: What were the gifts the Three Wise Men brought to the Baby Jesus?
    Contestant: Gold, platinum and silver

    Anne Robinson: Space exploration. What does the acronym NASA stand for?
    Contestant: National Socialist Space Satellite.

    AR: Complete the title of this novel by Henry James: "The Turn of the ..."?
    Contestant: Century.

    AR: Which bird gives its name to a straight-legged marching step?
    Contestant: The cuckoo.

    AR: In the animal kingdom, what "C" is a large North American reindeer?
    Contestant: A moose
     
  9. andrew markworthy

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 1999
    Messages:
    4,762
    Likes Received:
    12
    Trophy Points:
    0
    In fairness to the contestants, some mistakes on things like TWL are cases of being cued by the wrong thing because of nerves. There is a *very* long psychological explanation for this, but it boils down to starting with the right idea and then being sidetracked by a more frequently-used response. Thus, the poor soul who answered 'Colonel Sanders' to the Cluedo question had probably generated the answer 'Colonel White' but having got out 'Colonel' then switched to a more frequently-used partner word. From errors such as these psychologists get an insight into how we use language.

    In other cases, it's probably because the contestant's thick.

    One of the classic tales about quiz shows concerns an unbroadcast edition of Family Fortunes (I think it's called 'Family Feud' or something similar in the USA). One of the families on it was unbelievably stupid, and it was feared that if the episode was broadcast the ethics of permitting its showing would have been questioned. E.g. in answer to the question 'we asked one hundred people for the name of something coloured pink', the matriarch of the family answered 'was it my cardigan?'.

    A few years ago a friend of mine got on a quiz show which basically pitted members of different professions against each other. He enjoyed the experience and said to one of the producers that he would like to go on other quiz shows. The producer told him not to bother, as he was obviously too intelligent. Basically, on a lot of quiz shows, Mr or Ms Average is deliberately chosen so that there will be optimal audience identification. Hence why there are so many gaffes on quiz shows.
     
  10. Denward

    Denward Supporting Actor

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2001
    Messages:
    552
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I agree with Andrew that responses given in the heat of the moment may not be indicative of the contestant's knowledge. (BTW, in British slang, is 'thin' the opposite of 'thick'?)

    However, now that I've demonstrated a bit of sensitivity to these contestants, the funniest thing I remember on a quiz show was also on Family Feud.

    For those who don't remember, the final round at the end required two members of the same family to answer the same set of questions, but any duplicate answers were not allowed. The question was, "Name a state beginning with the letter M." The first person says, "Mexico". Ha Ha Ha. Laughs and embarrassment ensue. The second person comes up and responds, "Mexico". Richard Dawson almost busted a gut. The family did have Mexican ancestry.

    Of course, that story is not nearly as funny as the Newlywed Game story from Evan.
     
  11. Michael Marklund

    Michael Marklund Stunt Coordinator

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2002
    Messages:
    160
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    And sometimes the questions are unbelievably stupid. My favorite was from "Who wants to be a millionaire?"...The $100 dollar question was: "What is the primary ingredient in the dish known as Toast?" Loved that one.[​IMG]
    MM
     
  12. andrew markworthy

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 1999
    Messages:
    4,762
    Likes Received:
    12
    Trophy Points:
    0
     
  13. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2000
    Messages:
    15,814
    Likes Received:
    415
    Trophy Points:
    9,110
    Location:
    Manchester, England
    Real Name:
    Steve Christou
    Okay here are more classics, these are from Family Fortunes,
    I cried at some of these.[​IMG]
    Q: Name a kind of berry.
    A: Chuck.
    Q: Name something people are allergic to.
    A: Skiing.
    Q: Name something you might do during a power cut.
    A: Read a book.
    Q: Name a well known superstition.
    A: Running in front of a car.
    Q: Name something a blind person might use.
    A: A sword.
    Q: Name a famous French landmark.
    A: Hawaii.
    Q: Name the first place detectives look for fingerprints.
    A: On the floor.
    Q: Name something you find on a fire engine.
    A: Coal.
    Q: Name something you do before you go to bed.
    A: Sleep.
    Q: Name a song with 'moon' in the title.
    A: Blue Suede Moon.
    Q: Name an item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers.
    A: A horse.
    Q: Name something in the garden thats green.
    A: A shed.
    Q: Name a pair of famous brothers.
    A: Bonnie and Clyde.
    Q: Name a method of cooking fish.
    A: Cod.
    Q: Name something that floats in the bath.
    A: Water.
    Q: Name an animal you find in a zoo.
    A: A dog.
    Q: Name a game played in the dark.
    A: Charades
    Q: Name a bird with a long neck.
    A: Naomi Campbell
    Q: Name something you associate with the sea.
    A: A coffin.
    Q: Name a famous cowboy.
    A: Buck Rogers.
    Q: Name something you wear on the beach.
    A: A deckchair.
    Q: Name a part of the body beginning with the letter N.
    A: Knee.
    Q: Name something people have more than two of on their body.
    A: Arms.
     
  14. Craig Robertson

    Craig Robertson Supporting Actor

    Joined:
    May 12, 1999
    Messages:
    982
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
     
  15. Joseph DeMartino

    Joseph DeMartino Lead Actor

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 1997
    Messages:
    8,311
    Likes Received:
    13
    Trophy Points:
    5,610
    Location:
    Florida
    Real Name:
    Joseph DeMartino
    Love the thread, but have to throw cold water on the Newlywed Game exchange. It never happened. First of all, it would never have aired if it did happen - the TV censors of the time would never have allowed it. (This story is always told as taking place on the old Bob Eubanks version of the show - and always as something people claim to have seen themselves on television.) But it didn't happen, period, even during a taping from which it was later cut. There are no contemporary accounts of the incident, and every book written about the show by or with the cooperation of the show's cast and crew that has mentioned it has done so only to deny it. (This belongs to the same class of legend as the two Johnny Carson stories: "I will if you get that damned cat out of the way" - variously told about Sophia Loren, Raquel Welch, Joey Heatherton and others, depending on who was the current "hot" actress, and the "I'll bet that made his putter stand up" told about Arnold Palmer's wife - or in some versions Jack Nicklaus's. Neither of whom ever appeared on The Tonight Show because Johnny was not in the habit of interviewing athelte's wives.)
    Regards,
    Joe
     
  16. Gui A

    Gui A Supporting Actor

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2000
    Messages:
    596
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    They showed the Newlywed thing on a gameshow special a couple of months ago.
    They never aired it originally. It was in pretty bad condition, like an old beta tape... snopes has a story and video here...
     
  17. Holadem

    Holadem Lead Actor

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2000
    Messages:
    8,967
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
     
  18. Joseph DeMartino

    Joseph DeMartino Lead Actor

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 1997
    Messages:
    8,311
    Likes Received:
    13
    Trophy Points:
    5,610
    Location:
    Florida
    Real Name:
    Joseph DeMartino
    I stand corrected. I was familiar with the denials going back all those years, and didn't realize that a tape had actually surfaced. OK, so where's the tape of Raquel and her cat on the Carson show? [​IMG]
    Regards,
    Joe
     
  19. Denward

    Denward Supporting Actor

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2001
    Messages:
    552
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    The pussy cat appears to be fake
     
  20. NickSo

    NickSo Producer

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2000
    Messages:
    4,260
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Real Name:
    Nick So
    [​IMG] oh my god Steve that last list had me rolfmao!!! hahahahaa
     

Share This Page