Prayers Needed

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Adam Sanchez, Jun 4, 2002.

  1. Adam Sanchez

    Adam Sanchez Supporting Actor

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    Hey everyone,

    I don't think many of you know me, I have only posted here and there once in awhile but I wanted to ask a favor of everyone if I could please.

    I wanted to ask everyone to say a little prayer for me and my girlfriend. We found out today she miscarried and are quite saddened to say the least. The baby should of been about 3 months along by now. She had gotten pregnant unplanned but we were both so happy, it was going to be our first together.

    I have so much going on right now, so many things to think about. "Everything happens for a reason" doesn't really do it when it happens to YOU...
     
  2. Cam S

    Cam S Screenwriter

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    awe, I'm sorry to hear that. Well, everything DOES happen for a reason, but I know it's really tough what your going through. ALl the best to you and your gf though
     
  3. CamiloCamacho

    CamiloCamacho Stunt Coordinator

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  4. Carl Johnson

    Carl Johnson Cinematographer

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    [​IMG]
     
  5. Michael Langdon

    Michael Langdon Stunt Coordinator

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    Sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your girlfriend.

    Mike
     
  6. Eve T

    Eve T Supporting Actor

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    Things will be better for you both in time. I only say this as someone who has not only miscarried twice but who lost her infant daughter minutes after birth due to a cardiac arrest.
    No words can help make sense of this now, just knowing that people cared was about the only thing that helped me. I still haven't made sense of why this happened to me or anyone else for that matter.
    Counseling might be in order for the both of you as it can be very difficult to deal with and sometimes each partner greives differently than the other one does and sometimes the other person takes it as "they don't care as much as I do" because they don't greive the way I do.
    I offer you both my sincerest condolances and wish you peace at this time of sadness in your lives. I've been there and I know it hurts. Remember, it's okay to cry. [​IMG]
    Peace,
    Eve
     
  7. Pamela

    Pamela Supporting Actor

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    My thoughts and prayers are indeed with you and your girlfriend.

    -Pam
     
  8. Steve_J

    Steve_J Extra

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    Be assured that you and your girlfriend will be in my prayers as well.
     
  9. ScottR

    ScottR Cinematographer

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    I just prayed for you guys.
     
  10. Daniel J

    Daniel J Stunt Coordinator

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    [gives Adam a hug and a pat on the back]
    I wish I had something else to say, but I don't. I'm at a loss for words to give that could do anything but patronize and pity. So I will pray for you, and tommorow will be another day in a glorious world, so hang in there.
     
  11. RogerB

    RogerB Second Unit

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    I know how you feel and I will pray for you guys.
     
  12. Shayne Lebrun

    Shayne Lebrun Screenwriter

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    Speaking as a father who's wife has miscarried, I'll tell you that, in this case, yes, there is a reason.

    Miscarriages generally occur because something wasn't quite right. 1 out of 3 pregnancies will miscarry, completely natural.

    Still, my condolences. It doesn't make it any less painful. I can tell you though that if you and she have another baby, you'll appreciate it all the more.
     
  13. Adam Sanchez

    Adam Sanchez Supporting Actor

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    Just wanted to thank everyone for thier support. I'm not feeling much better and I'm going to have to work today... great I really feel up for THAT. :-(
     
  14. Grant B

    Grant B Producer

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    think good thoughts

    very sorry about your loss
    sincerely
    grant
     
  15. Adam Sanchez

    Adam Sanchez Supporting Actor

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    I've been crying, believe me. I'm like a big blubbering baby. I've always been too sensitive. I've never had to deal with anything like this, so natrually, I'm doing it all wrong.

    I found about all this just as I was leaving for work yesterday at 2:50pm. I called in work of course hoping I would soon get to see my girl, Stacie. But I never saw her yesterday. She was mourning, resting, and in alot of pain. I mostly talked with her sister to be kept updated. To make it worse, I actually haven't seen Stacie since Sunday. So I have my normal amount of missing her in addition to all this.

    I guess last night they took her to the ER because she was in so much pain and she got drugged up.

    I'm such an idiot. I just finally talked to Stacie a minute ago, she was hurting again because the meds were wearing off and I was dumb enough to actually say I feel like everyone is trying to keep me from her. I managed to upset her on top of everything else. She said I could try and see her at noon a little while before I have to goto work but that I wouldn't be able to be lovey dovey to her. I took that the wrong way too, dumb immature me.

    As much as I want to see her, what should I do? Just stay away till she is really ready? I need to do the right thing here... no matter how much I suffer. I need to be the right way for all of this, I love her more than I could ever say and the last thing I would ever want is to lose her after all this because I didn't react right.
     
  16. Andrew_Sch

    Andrew_Sch Cinematographer

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    I wouldn't be here today if my mom hadn't miscarriaged during a previous pregnancy, so maybe something good can come out of this. Still, very sorry to hear about that, and my thoughts are with you.
     
  17. Neil Joseph

    Neil Joseph Lead Actor

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    I know how you feel and offer my sympathy. The same thing happened with our first pregnancy. It apparently is quite common especially for the first pregnancy. I hope your girlfriend recovers 100% and when the timing is right, try again.
     
  18. Johnny wilson

    Johnny wilson Stunt Coordinator

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    Sorry to hear manolw.[​IMG]
     
  19. Adam Sanchez

    Adam Sanchez Supporting Actor

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    Sorry to say she isn't my wife, although that will change someday.

    I need to write now. I need to get some things down and just see what everyone thinks.

    A little history of me and her. I met her on Dec 27th 2001. She was introduced to me by a girl named Brandi who I had became good friend with in the previous 6 months at this club I went to and had some other friends at. I would always see Brandi there and we just kind of became unspoken friends. One day she got it in her to introduce me to Stacie (they have been friends for 20 years) so she brought her. I knew that we were meeting for you know... to see what might happen but Stacie didn't. But still we hit it off immediately.

    We had a dinner and movie date 2 days later and we just had the best time talking and I loved getting to know her. Then our big date (which was planned that night we met) was a big new years party where I think it's safe to say we started falling in love. She had a little reservation about me because of our age difference, I'm 24, she is 30 but that literally dissolved away at midnight when I kissed her for the first time. That going as well as it did still amazes me till this day. I had planned to kiss her for the 1st time at midnight on New years... but for it to go so well... Wow.

    After that night we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I actually asked her to be mine like an after thought. She was like you really don't even need to ask.

    Quick background on her: She was married and her husband died. She has a 7 year old boy who I love alot and he seems to love me. His dad died when he was 6 months old so he never knew him. I never knew my dad either. Stacie had had to deal with alot of death... her husband who was also her first serious love, and then her father who she was very close to. Ever since then she has become very strong and independent. I tend to rely on people and I have never had anyone in my close family die. This thing now is the closest I've been you could say.

    I was married too, the divorce isn't even final yet. I knew my ex for 2 years dating then we were married for 2 years. I learned alot from that relationship. I loved my ex wife at our best... but it wasn't like how I feel about Stacie. She is simply my world... not to sound corny or anything but she is. I love her more than I could ever express. She says she can see it in my eyes... I've never had anyone tell me that before.

    In the 5 months we've been together, we've had so many wonderful times. Everything has just been RIGHT. The kiss at new years was just the beginning. 2 weeks later we had a night in a beautiful hotel here in town where we said outload for the first time we were in love even though we both already knew and then we were... together (you know) for the first time. We've had a couple very fun trip and things were very good. Untill...

    I have a problem with insecurity. If she does or says something I take it the wrong way and I'm always so afraid she doesn't love me. She says I wasn't like that in the beginning. I will do anything to get back to how I was. I need to STOP worrying about if she loves me or not or whatever, I need to worry about how she is doing right now and be there for her.

    The baby wasn't planned but believe me we weren't trying very hard to prevent having one and when she told me I was thrilled. Knowing her and already changed my life, I didn't care about little things like I use to, and the baby coming gave me such a goal. Stacie lives with her sister, her son of course, the girl Brandi I mentioned above and her 2 children. The house is Stacie and her sisters that they bought with money from when thier dad died. When the baby was coming me and her had planned to move into an apartment with her son (Michael) just before or right after the baby was born. Brandi was going to stay in the house with Stacie's sister and cover her half of the mortguage so Stacie would still have her house which is very important to her.

    But now there isn't going to be a baby. Will Stacie still want to move out with me? Because of everyone she lives with, I don't see her everyday. I come over after work and see her about 3 nights a week. I wish it was more but she feels we have to be understanding about the others. That too had been the source of a few fights. It's so hard for me to not see her every second, it's just how she feels and her thinking of others makes me worry about how much she loves me which I know is wrong. But I was also ok knowing soon we would be living together. But now what? As you can see, I just have so many thoughts going on.

    Right now I'm home alone tonight. I moved back in with my mother and her new hubby after my breakup. But they just went away on a trip for thier year anniversay. My Mom offered to stay but I told them to go.... still it's hard to be alone. I want to be with Stacie SO bad... but she simply isn't up for it and it's honestly very hard for me not to take it personally. But if it will really help her me being away for now.... if it will truly help, that will make it a little easier for me. Friday is her D&C which she said just me and her Mom are going to. She mentioned something about this weekend me and her are going to stay at her Moms so we can just have some peace. I hope that happens because I feel we need that... I know I do.

    I keep worrying I somehow did something. Stressing her out about stupid fights worrying how she feels about me. I also have had insecurities about the husband she lost, thinking they had this perfect love I can never touch even though she has TOLD ME that they didn't and that I'm what she wants now. I'm her first serious love and relationship since him. I just want to be enough for her. I need to mature and grow up... like NOW.

    I talked to her today when I was at work and told her I was sorry that she felt she needed to worry about me. That I wanted a chance to show her I could be strong for her. I promised her I wasn't going to worry about dumb little things anymore.

    I'm going on and on so bad it's not even funny. The bottom line is I want to be what she needs. The only thing that could possibly hurt me more than losing our baby would be losing her... but I can't think about things like that! I need to believe "Us" will be fine... and I just need to be there for her in whatever capacity she needs and not think how it will affect me... need to be strong!

    I can't shake the worry of losing her though. I'm really terrified. To those who read this far down, thank you.
     
  20. Adam Sanchez

    Adam Sanchez Supporting Actor

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    How do I deal with being alone? How do I understand that me staying away may actually help her? I just want to do the right thing...but the right thing sure does hurt.
     

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