Leila Dougan
Screenwriter
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2002
- Messages
- 1,352
Five months ago I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl. She's wonderful, doing just fine, and an absolute joy. But it seems, unfortunately, that I have developed postpartum depression. I'm under care of my OB, on medication, and will be seeing a counselor this coming week. So those details are already worked out; this post isn't about that.
I realize that most of you here are guys, which is what I'm after. Essentially, my husband is having a hard time being supportive, having never been depressed before. I'm in search of advice for him, mainly. So let me ask you all. . .any of you guys have had the women in your lives fall victim to the evil postpartum depression monster?
My husband, being much like a lot of guys I know, is a problem solver. He wants to "fix" my problem and when he can't, he (I think) feels defeated and leaves me alone. And since he has no personal experience with depression, he doesn't have a clue on how to be supportive. I know, I know, I should be able to tell him what I need, but being depressed, I'm havinga really hard time gathering my thoughts. I've been having an extremely rough couple of days and today I couldn't get out of bed until 4pm. He walked in at one point, asked if there's anything he could do, and when I said no, he just left me there. I know I am no fun to be around, but I do need him around, and when I tell him that he's frustrated that he can't fix it so he leaves. He doesn't know what it's like when it takes all your energy to deal with the very bad thoughts.
He's a good husband and father, really, and I'm grateful for that. Truthfully, as bad as this sounds, I don't want to be around the baby at all but I grudgingly feed her (I'm breastfeeding) because she needs it. He's been taking care of her alone for the last two days because I am not able to do a good job. So I'm grateful that he can do that for me.
Now that I've written all this, I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for. I think mainly, I'm looking to see if any of you have been in his shoes. Or if you have a story to share, or just general support for me.
Thanks, I appreciate it.
I realize that most of you here are guys, which is what I'm after. Essentially, my husband is having a hard time being supportive, having never been depressed before. I'm in search of advice for him, mainly. So let me ask you all. . .any of you guys have had the women in your lives fall victim to the evil postpartum depression monster?
My husband, being much like a lot of guys I know, is a problem solver. He wants to "fix" my problem and when he can't, he (I think) feels defeated and leaves me alone. And since he has no personal experience with depression, he doesn't have a clue on how to be supportive. I know, I know, I should be able to tell him what I need, but being depressed, I'm havinga really hard time gathering my thoughts. I've been having an extremely rough couple of days and today I couldn't get out of bed until 4pm. He walked in at one point, asked if there's anything he could do, and when I said no, he just left me there. I know I am no fun to be around, but I do need him around, and when I tell him that he's frustrated that he can't fix it so he leaves. He doesn't know what it's like when it takes all your energy to deal with the very bad thoughts.
He's a good husband and father, really, and I'm grateful for that. Truthfully, as bad as this sounds, I don't want to be around the baby at all but I grudgingly feed her (I'm breastfeeding) because she needs it. He's been taking care of her alone for the last two days because I am not able to do a good job. So I'm grateful that he can do that for me.
Now that I've written all this, I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for. I think mainly, I'm looking to see if any of you have been in his shoes. Or if you have a story to share, or just general support for me.
Thanks, I appreciate it.