Possible first date soon...... Looking for some female and male advice.

Joe Spratley

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Aug 5, 2003
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Just wanted to put in my .02 cents.

I think sometimes the advice "just be yourself" is not helpful to some individuals. If you have someone that acted like the guy on "My big fat fiance" and he kept striking out with women, you wouldn't tell him "just be yourself". If someone is having repeated failures with women then they must be doing something wrong or projecting an image that is not appealing to the opposite sex and obviously need to change some things. I think that when people say just be yourself, what they're really trying to say is be calm and loose, don't be so nervous and uptight that you make the other person uncomfortable. Also don't go to the opposite end of the spectrum and go over the top and make a fool of yourself. If you watch the show Blind Date you will see repeatedly that guys are either so nervous that they clam up and the girl is uncomfortable and bored, or guys try too hard and make a complete fool of themselves.

I would say the third thing that repeatedly gets the guys on Blind date shot down is moving too fast.

Not saying this is you Erin but just wanted to temper some of the "just be yourself" advice with reality.
 

MikeH1

Screenwriter
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Oct 25, 2000
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Lets not use this show as an example. I know its true what you said...and as funny as it can be, I believe it's just staged entertainment. It doesn't get any more materialistic than this and I bet 80% of these people on this show never get married.

But anyway Erin, just be yourself. And make sure you have on some nice footware. Chicks dig that
 

MikeAlletto

Effects Supervisor
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Mar 11, 2000
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Hahaha, I was going to post that too. You should not be asking for information like this on a place such as this. Its a waste of time and will only make you more nervous. The majority of people know what to do on dates but they ask this kind of question here because they want some kind of reassurance. They want someone to make decisions for them and think that if someone posts it here that is the decision being made. You see it in every single "what should I do..." type post.
 

EricKH

Agent
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Jul 26, 2001
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I would also recommend going someplace where you can talk (like dinner). Most go to a movie where you spend alot of the evening looking at a screen, rather than getting to know each other
 

Bruce_S

Second Unit
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Sep 11, 2001
Messages
319
Ask her first to get a "YES" first than worry about it.
I agreed w/most members here.

I think - a movie and dinner is an ok for the first date -but try to be creative. Try to find out what she enjoys doing and plan around that. It's alot of pressure of sitting at dinner and could be a long night if you don't have much in common to talk about, hence - the movie so to talking.. hehe

I always try doing something that's fun. Try something different like ice or roller skating. She'll have fun and you'll get a good chance of holding her hand.

Be yourself and have fun!

-bruce
 

ChuckSolo

Screenwriter
Joined
Jun 26, 2003
Messages
1,160
Yes, be yourself, but......be a gentleman!!! Nothing puts the screws to a first date as much as LOUTISH behavior. I agree that a rose is a bit much. One final word........ BE NICE! Have fun, ah, first dates, how sweet the memories.
 

Holadem

Lead Actor
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Nov 4, 2000
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Not everyone thinks that every date is a stepping stone towards marriage.

--
H
 

Scott DeToffol

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Oct 25, 2000
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If you're nervous about being nervous, you might want to prepare a bit for the uncomfortable silences that are bound to happen. You could prepare a few light topics of conversation that you can bring up if you find yourself stuck with nothing to say or questions to ask.
If things go well and conversation is natural with her, you probably won't need them. But they may be good for backup. Stay away from politics, religion or sports (unless she brings them up).

I also find that follow-up questions are really important. They keep converstaions moving, demonstrate that you are interested in her and that you listen and pay attention. The ability for a man to listen to a women is probably the single most important factor in maintaining long term relationships. Seriously.

Also, this may seem old fashioned, but if you feel things are going reasonably well, take a bit of initiative and find ways to touch her in an appropriate way. As you open the door for her to get in the car, offer your hand to help. As you open the door to a restaurant, place your hand lightly on the small of her back as she walks through. If she makes a good joke, reach over and touch her arm as you laugh, but only for a second. Offer your arm as you're walking, but I wouldn't go so far as to grab her hand just yet. This is a very subtle but effective way to demonstrate that you are attracted to her physically and can break the ice for a good night kiss.

Good luck.
 

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