Possible first date soon...... Looking for some female and male advice.

Discussion in 'After Hours Lounge (Off Topic)' started by Erin C, Feb 4, 2004.

  1. Erin C

    Erin C Stunt Coordinator

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    I'm getting ready to ask out my friends sister,and I am a complete novice to the whole dating world,plus I am very shy and quiet. Does the single rose work? She has been exposed to my comedic style,is that appropriate for a first date to lighten the mood,break the ice,etc.(in small doses of course)? Any input and/or advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks!!!
     
  2. Carl Johnson

    Carl Johnson Cinematographer

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    I'd say the single rose sounds like a good idea, and when it comes to conversation just be yourself. Talk to her like you would one of your male friends. If you style is comedic then let it all hang out. Hopefully she will appreciate it but even if she doesn't she's not worth your time. If you're into telling jokes and she doesn't have a sense of humor then why waste your time on a second date?
     
  3. Mike Graham

    Mike Graham Supporting Actor

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    While its a cliche, the real truth is just be yourself. I had two separate dates last year (it was my first year of university) where I ended up being really uptight and nervous, which is a complete turn off. However, when I met my girlfriend last fall, I just relaxed and acted like I would with an old friend, and it worked like a charm.

    Bringing a flower would be a nice touch, but if the relationship continues remember not to be constantly giving gifts, as it'll make you seem insecure.

    Try to talk about your interests a lot, but give her a chance to share her thoughts as well. Remember, she's more then likely just as nervous as you.

    Good luck!
     
  4. Holadem

    Holadem Lead Actor

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    [​IMG] Not a good idea, even with the second proposition. The priority should be the other way around. Try to talk about her interests a lot, don't dwell on yours unless she insists. Be a good, active listener (ask questions) and when she is done talking your ears off, she will think you're the greatest thing since sliced bread.

    --
    H
     
  5. Erin C

    Erin C Stunt Coordinator

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    Hmmm....interesting...awaiting female input.
     
  6. JonZ

    JonZ Lead Actor

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    I wouldnt bring a rose,and yes although a cliche, you must be yourself.

    Go into it with the intent of just having company for a few hours - no expectations.

    Just have fun.
     
  7. AllanN

    AllanN Supporting Actor

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    Unless your friend knows your about to ask out his sister, you have bigger troubles that how to act on the first date. [​IMG] I agree on be yourself and if she does not like who that is its her problem.
     
  8. Lew Crippen

    Lew Crippen Executive Producer

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    Holadem gives very good advice. I’d pass on a rose on a first date, as some girls might feel that is declaring too much intent too soon.
     
  9. Ryan Wishton

    Ryan Wishton Screenwriter

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    Rule #1: Dont burp and fart!!! It's a turn off for almost anyone on the first date... This one gal did this several times on a first date... I had to make it my obligation to never see her again...

    Rule #2: Dont over drink!!! You will appear to be a drunk... Most girls dont like that on the first date...

    Rule #3: Dont be a jackass... No one likes that...

    Now, Good Luck!!! If this should happen to go somewhere good, dont blow it... A good relationship is too hard to come by these days...
     
  10. Randy Tennison

    Randy Tennison Screenwriter

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    Pass on the rose for the first date. Perhaps some other type of flower, less "love" oriented.

    Like everyone says, be yourself. If she likes you, make sure it's you she likes, and not the character your portrayed during the date.

    And remember, unless you get outright signs of disapproval, chivelry is still alive. Open the restraunt door for her, pull out her chair, open the car door. And take the lead in planning the date. Find out what she likes, and then choose the restraunt. Choose the other activites. Don't start the date by saying, "So, what you want to do?"

    Go get em, tiger!
     
  11. Mark Murphy

    Mark Murphy Supporting Actor

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    Thats a no no with my group of friends. Does your friend know? Is your friend close w/his (or her) sister? She may know more about you and your past hijinks (if there are any) than you realize.
     
  12. Mike Graham

    Mike Graham Supporting Actor

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    Questioning will only go so far - she may just stay quiet on what she's interested in, unless he openly talks about what his interests are. That way she'll feel a bit comfortable talk about her interests!
     
  13. Todd H

    Todd H Go Dawgs!

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    Here's where I stand....

    Don't bring a flower to a first date. That should be reserved for a later date.
    Be yourself.
    Don't be needy or clingy.
    Don't rush things.
    Listen to what she says.
    Don't monopolize the conversation talking about yourself.
    Hygiene, hygiene, hygiene!
    And remember, "When it comes to makin' out, play side 2 of Led Zeppelin 4." [​IMG]
     
  14. Jason Pancake

    Jason Pancake Stunt Coordinator

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    Erin,
    No flowers! Please check out Doc Love's advice. His advice is golden. Granted I'm already married but I am a "nice guy" turned "good guy". Yes, there is a BIG difference. His advice would've saved me TONS of heartache in my late teens early twenties. His advice is helpful to anyone. He is not a typical "love doctor" by any means. He wants to get you confident and to keep you from falling into the "nice guy" syndrome without being an arrogant pr1ck. Good luck.

    http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove/index.html

    Don't forget to check out the "More Archives" for more articles. The Doc knows all.
     
  15. Mike Graham

    Mike Graham Supporting Actor

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    I second Jason's website - its definitely the best "confidence/dating" site I've seen around.
     
  16. Danny Tse

    Danny Tse Producer

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    I will third Jason's website as well.

    Just for fun, and since I am in a self-pimping mood, you can read about my dating adventure. I haven't updated it recently but it's still going on. [​IMG]

    Here's the article at Askmen.com on dating friend's sister.
     
  17. Mark Philp

    Mark Philp Second Unit

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    Don't spend all evening talking "tech" about computers or home theatre, it won't impress her. If she's not into it she'll be bored. Give her a chance to talk about her interests. I'll bet it won't be the difference between snappers and keep cases. Relax and enjoy yourself. Good luck.
     
  18. Cameron Yee

    Cameron Yee Executive Producer
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    I would also pass on the rose. If you want to bring her flowers, give her something less cliched and with fewer "love" connotations.

    Another thing that might get in the way is how long you've been interested in her. If this has been building for some time there's a chance your anticipation will get the better of you. Try not to make too much of the evening or consider it a make-or-break event. Essentially, have fun and try not to think beyond the moment.
     
  19. Mark Sherman

    Mark Sherman Supporting Actor

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    I would have to say that there is an unwritten law that One should not day his friends sister. Unless you get your frinds Blessing first. I have seen many a friendship die because of this.
     
  20. Philip_T

    Philip_T Supporting Actor

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    I too, would pass on the rose. Too soon for the 1st date and implies romance when you really haven't even been on a date yet. I had a buddy of mine recently go on a 1st date and when I asked him how it went, he said, "well 1st, I got her a single red rose" and I didn't need to hear anymore. He also came across too romanticly too quick. Needlesss to say, it didn't work out. Too many times, men feel that they have to come across as romantics or that they need to impress the girl from the very start. I say why. Chances are, you 2 really don't know each other yet and thats what early dating is for. Are you 2 compatable? Do you enjoy each others company? Can you be yourself around her? When the answers to these questions are more explored, the answer to the rose question will become obvious to you. Thats finally how I met my wife, by relaxing, being myself, and not being needy/clingy. Things just fell into place. Whatever happens, Good Luck and have fun!

    my .02 cents
     

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