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Periodic Fun

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Andrew V, Jan 12, 2002.

  1. Andrew V

    Andrew V Stunt Coordinator

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    For my Chemistry Class, the teacher has assigned a Project for the class. We need to create our own version of the Periodic Table. Here’s the Instructions:

     
  2. Mark Dubbelboer

    Mark Dubbelboer Screenwriter

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    I can't help because i'm unimaginative, but i "periodic fun" made me think of this
    What's a pirates favourite periodic element?
    Arrrrrrrrrgon
    [​IMG] so bad
     
  3. Andrew V

    Andrew V Stunt Coordinator

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    Mark: [​IMG] Thanks for the Joke. I’ll be sure to use that in class.
    Any suggestions? I’m really at a loss of idea.
     
  4. Andrew V

    Andrew V Stunt Coordinator

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    Thanks for everyone's help. [​IMG]
     
  5. Steve Tannehill

    Steve Tannehill Ambassador

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    The Periodic Table is definitive in its form. It's a stupid assignment.

    - Steve
     
  6. Andrew V

    Andrew V Stunt Coordinator

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    Steve: I complete agree with you. Luckily I was able to think of a new design at the last moment.
     
  7. Joel C

    Joel C Screenwriter

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    That's possibly the dumbest, most bullshit assignment I have ever seen. I'm glad I didn't have to do it, it would've involved a lot of swearing, and my voice might've gotten hoarse.
     
  8. Ryan Wright

    Ryan Wright Screenwriter

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    Andrew, I hope you're in high school. If this is a college assignment, I'd be at someone's office raising hell.

    As the others have said, it's a bullshit assignment. It's one of those "there is no wrong answer" assignments that doesn't teach you anything. This is just another reason why my children are being homeschooled.

    I'm reminded of a hilarious tidbit about how teaching has changed over the years:

    PROGRESS OF MATH TEACHING--WITH LOGS

    Teaching Math in 1950:

    A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

    Teaching Math in 1960:

    A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

    Teaching Math in 1970:

    A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a set "M" of money. The cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each element is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set "M." The set "C," the cost of production, contains 20 fewer points than set "M." Represent the set "C" as a subset of set "M" and answer the following question: What is the cardinality of the set "P" for profits?

    Teaching Math in 1980:

    A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. Her cost of production is $80 and her profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

    Teaching Math in 1990:

    By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees? There are no wrong answers.

    Teaching Math in 1996:

    By laying off 40% of its loggers, a company improves its stock price from $80 to $100. How much capital gain per share does the CEO make by exercising his stock options at $80? Assume capital gains are no longer taxed, because this encourages investment.

    Teaching Math in 1997:

    A company outsources all of its loggers. The firm saves on benefits, and when demand for its product is down, the logging workforce can easily be cut back. The average logger employed by the company earned $50,000, had three weeks vacation, a nice retirement plan and medical insurance. The contracted logger charges $50 an hour. Was outsourcing a good move?

    Teaching Math in 1998:

    A laid-off logger with four kids at home and a ridiculous alimony from his failed first marriage comes into the logging company corporate offices and goes postal, mowing down 16 executives and a couple of secretaries, and gets lucky when he nails a politician on the premises collecting his kickback. Was outsourcing the loggers a good move for the company?

    Teaching Math in 1999:

    A laid-off logger serving time in prison for blowing away several people is being trained in computer science in order to work on Y2K projects. What is the probability that the automatic cell doors will open on their own as of 00:01, 01/01/00?
     
  9. NickSo

    NickSo Producer

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    [​IMG] nice one ryan! Mark too!
    Boy, i've seen retarded assignments, but that one takes the cake.. who the hell would want, or need to rearrange the periodic table of the elements??
     
  10. Matthew Chmiel

    Matthew Chmiel Cinematographer

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    Andrew, you should've not done the assignment as a form of protest. [​IMG] That is one of the stupidest assignments I have ever heard of. Oh well, what can you expect when you're in high school? [​IMG] If only I was homeschooled...
     
  11. NickSo

    NickSo Producer

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    hehe up here in BC, a bunch of schools are having walk outs from their students...

    No, not due to retarded assingments... THe stupid teachers wont do their work!

    Im set to walk out on the 23rd...
     
  12. Shayne Lebrun

    Shayne Lebrun Screenwriter

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    Ah, highschool. I remember my grade ten science class, the teacher was an eco bunny. One of her assignments was to design the garbage disposal plant of the future. Make up whatever science will explain it, as long as it's consistant.

    A buddy of mine's disposal included slave labour of mutants created in the Third World War, known as the 24 Minutes War, as according to the Mutant Rights Act of 2028, mutants have no rights, and are not allowed to reproduce. The backstory was HUGE, he put a lot of effort into it. It was great. I don't think the teacher ever bothered to grade it, though.

    15 percent of our final mark was an assignment to reduce your household garbage output by 20 percent or more. Most of us just wrote a report about what we did, the night before it was due. Then took a picture of five garbage bags, then two.

    My Grade 13 World Affairs class was MUCH cooler. For my main project on Terrorism (this was a while ago) I had some buddies come in and take the class hostage. One rigged up his car to make extra noise. I got up in front of class, and stammered and stuttered for about ten minutes, the way all the other students do (you know..."Terrorisim, it's like, you know, bad, and stuff. A terrorist is, like, well, he's like a guy, you know, who uses, like, terrorisim and stuff? to further his, um, goals. And stuff.") Then, when the class looked suitably tuned out, I put on a video clip from Patriot Games, leaned out a window, waved, then turned and yelled something suitably terrorist like, my buddies came roaring up, jumped out of the car, ran into the HS, and into the class, kicking over empty desks, yelling for people to lie on the ground, we tied up the teacher, threatened to start killing one student an hour unless I got better grades, and so on. It was great; the teacher commented that it showed very well what terror was. I'd not advise doing it in this post columbine, post 9/11 day and age, though.

    Bullshit assignments can be fun, if you look at them right. For the periodic table, for example, and don't read if you don't want to be grossed out by the human reproductive cycle,

    I'd call it 'a table of elements of the Period' and say that it's the composition of the average woman's period.
     
  13. Peter McDonald

    Peter McDonald Stunt Coordinator

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