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Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan went to heaven. (1 Viewer)

Greg_S_H

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Sick of their bad behaviour, the captain of a cruise ship marooned Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan on an island. They were promptly taken captive by islanders outraged that bimbos had set foot on sacred land. The chief was a sporting fellow, though, so he told them they had a chance to live if they would go out and collect ten pieces of fruit and bring them back to him.

Paris came back first carrying kiwis. The chief said, "You must shove all ten kiwis up your kiester without any reaction. Flinch even a little, and we will kill you." So, she popped a couple up there, but the third one caused her to grunt with pain. She was quickly dispatched.

Britney returned soon after carrying ten grapes. She started to work and had nine in when she started to laugh. She was immediately killed.

Up in Heaven, Paris said, "I was watching you, and I thought you had it made! Why did you laugh?"

"Because I saw Lindsay coming back, and she was carrying ten pineapples!"
 

drobbins

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Dave
Paris, Britney and Lindsay are vacationing in a small obscure Caribbean country. They are out partying one night and the local militia police arrest them for drug possession. They have very strict laws there and the 3 are given the death penalty by firing squad. They are taken to a wooded area at the base of a volcano. Lindsay is first. Just as they were going to pull the triggers, the volcano rumbles and shakes the ground. She yells “Earthquake!” Everyone is disorientated and looking around long enough that she makes a run for it and escapes. Next they bring out Britney and just as they were going to shoot her, some rocks start tumbling down the side of the volcano. She yells “Avalanche!” Once again everyone is distracted and she escapes. Paris is last. She has seen how the other 2 got away and is thinking of her way out. She noticed a small lava stream near by burning everything in its path. She thinks about the flames and smoke and she has made her plan. Just as the squad raises their guns, she yells “Fire!”
 

Nick

Second Unit
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Jun 30, 1997
Messages
251
Paris, Britney and Lindsay were bragging to each other that
They have so much money they can go anywhere they want.
So they all decided that they should go visit another planet.
So they all flew to NASA space center.
Once they got there.
Britney says to the flight technician "I want to go to the moon". The flight technician says she can go tomorrow. Lindsay says "I want to go to Mars". He says she can go next week. Paris says "I want to go to the sun". The flight technician says, "Don't you know you'll burn up?" Paris replies "Well then I'll go at night."
 

Nick

Second Unit
Joined
Jun 30, 1997
Messages
251
Paris, Lindsay and Britney decided to go to the football game to see why all the guys are so into it. They had great seats right behind one of the teams bench
After the game, one of the teams members asked if they liked the
game.

"Oh, I really liked it," Lindsay replies, "especially the tight pants and all
the big muscles, but Britney said I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Yeah, I know. Paris added.

Dumbfounded, the guy asked, "What do you mean?"

Paris replies "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of
the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the
quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!! *
 

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