Okay, how do I *NOT* come across as a stalker?

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Joel Mack, Jul 24, 2002.

  1. Joel Mack

    Joel Mack Cinematographer

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 1999
    Messages:
    2,317
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Dear Abby, [​IMG]
    Here's my situation:
    Yesterday, I screwed up the courage to ask a girl I know out on a date. She's really only an acquaintance, not really a friend (she works in a store that I patronize, and we've always had friendly conversations, but nothing too personal). I'm not sure she knows I was ever married, much less divorced.
    Anywho, after she agreed to go out with me, she gave me her phone number so I could call her and we could set something more concrete up. I gave her a call, and left a message for her yesterday afternoon. To this point I've not heard back from her. Now, I don't know if she's just been busy, or if maybe it's something else: I realized last night, to my horror, that my ex-wife's name still appears with my phone number on Caller ID. Egad, maybe she thinks I'm cheating on someone. (I've since called the phone company, and my ex-wife's name will be gone by Friday)
    So, do I seek her out immediately (I know she works again today, so I could drop by the store) and risk looking like a stalker (or some extremely needy person) to determine what's going on, or do I wait awhile longer and see if she calls back? I don't want to scare her away, but I'm very attracted to her, and I don't want to lose her, either...
    Any thoughts? Is there another option I haven't thought of?
     
  2. Patrick Sun

    Patrick Sun Studio Mogul

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 1999
    Messages:
    38,779
    Likes Received:
    493
    Trophy Points:
    9,110
    Watch "Swingers", and don't do anything that the lead character does in the final 30 minutes of that film.
     
  3. JoshF

    JoshF Supporting Actor

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2000
    Messages:
    884
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Joel:

    Mellow out. It's been what, not even 24 hours yet? And you called her the same day she gave you her number?

    Give her some time, dude. Chill. Take a deep breath. She's gonna smell the hormones and run if you don't.

    Good luck!
     
  4. Leila Dougan

    Leila Dougan Screenwriter

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2002
    Messages:
    1,352
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I personally would give her a few more days. Once your name is on the caller ID, give her another call. If she doesn't respond to that call, I'd just let her be. I wouldn't go see her at work again unless a few weeks have passed. Once you call her for the 2nd time, you've clearly made your interest known and the rest is up to her.
     
  5. Dennis Reno

    Dennis Reno Supporting Actor

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 1997
    Messages:
    862
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I agree with Leila. I would wait a few more days and then contact her. If you don't hear from her after that, it may be a case where she didn't want to hurt your feelings, but she isn't interested.

    Either way, not a big deal. There are plenty of women who would donate a kidney for a shot at dating the HTF FFL commish!
     
  6. Joel Mack

    Joel Mack Cinematographer

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 1999
    Messages:
    2,317
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    [​IMG] Don't I wish!
     
  7. Michael*K

    Michael*K Screenwriter

    Joined:
    May 24, 2001
    Messages:
    1,806
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Like everyone else has said, relax and give it a few days. And no sense in getting worked up over the Caller ID. It's possible she doesn't even have it or doesn't use it except to screen calls.
     
  8. Dave Poehlman

    Dave Poehlman Producer

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2000
    Messages:
    3,813
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Give me her phone number, I'll call her for you. [​IMG]
     
  9. Brian Mansure

    Brian Mansure Second Unit

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2000
    Messages:
    460
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Joel,

    If you patronize the place where she works regularly anyhow, I would suggest the next time you stop in be very casual about the situation and let her know you tried to call her. Carry on a conversation with her as you normally would.

    There could be a bunch of reasons why she hasn't called you back yet or possibly didn't get the message for some reason. Be cool about it. It sounds to me like you and her pretty much had a date setup anyhow you just needed to work out the details.
    Give it a day or two and see if she's still interested in going out.

    Good Luck,
    Brian
     
  10. Richard Travale

    Richard Travale Producer

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2001
    Messages:
    3,425
    Likes Received:
    12
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    The Island, Canada
    Real Name:
    Rich Travale
    I agree with Patrick, watch Swingers.

    If you have business in the store then go in and while you are paying casually mention that your ex's name would be on her call display. Just say 'in case you thought you were being called by some stranger'. Hopefully it won't be a Mike/Nicki moment.
     
  11. John Spencer

    John Spencer Supporting Actor

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2000
    Messages:
    857
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Man, this feels like I'm watching Singles all over again.
     
  12. Ryan Wright

    Ryan Wright Screenwriter

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2000
    Messages:
    1,875
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I'd let the caller ID issue go. Chances are she doesn't even have it. If she does, and if she noticed, and if she really wanted to date you, she will say something about it. It might be, "You asshole", but at least that's something.

    Really, let it go. Don't mention it unless she brings it up.
     
  13. Carlo Medina

    Carlo Medina Executive Producer

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 1997
    Messages:
    10,611
    Likes Received:
    764
    Trophy Points:
    9,110
    I second the Swingers viewing.
    If you call her too soon you could scare the pretty baby away. Be money, wait 2 days.
     
  14. Michael*K

    Michael*K Screenwriter

    Joined:
    May 24, 2001
    Messages:
    1,806
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
     
  15. Joel Mack

    Joel Mack Cinematographer

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 1999
    Messages:
    2,317
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    She called. Everything's [​IMG]
    Not that anyone besides me really cares... [​IMG]
     
  16. Carlo Medina

    Carlo Medina Executive Producer

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 1997
    Messages:
    10,611
    Likes Received:
    764
    Trophy Points:
    9,110
    You are so money and you don't even know it...
     
  17. Philip_G

    Philip_G Producer

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2000
    Messages:
    5,030
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    OK damnit i've tried to resist. I can't any longer.

    How long do you wait to call your beautiful babies?
     
  18. Allen W

    Allen W Stunt Coordinator

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2001
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Five Days
    I third the recommendation of Swingers
    The Dao of Steve is pretty funny also and has a few good dating truths in it.
     
  19. Chris Derby

    Chris Derby Second Unit

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2000
    Messages:
    371
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    7 days...
     
  20. Yee-Ming

    Yee-Ming Producer

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2002
    Messages:
    4,383
    Likes Received:
    29
    Trophy Points:
    1,610
    Location:
    "on a little street in Singapore"
    Real Name:
    Yee Ming Lim
     

Share This Page