*** Official PIRANHA 3D (2010) Review Thread

Michael Elliott

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I guess I shouldn't be shocked that there wasn't already a thread on this one. Only a total of five people showed up at the first screening today and the theater manager said only two showed up for the midnight screening so I'd say this here isn't going to be a hit.

 

Piranha 3D (2010)

 

Alexandre Aja

 

After making a huge splash with his film HAUTE TENSION, director Aja was brought to America where it seems studios just want to use him to remake other films. First we got a ghoulish and ultra-violent remake of THE HILLS HAVE EYES followed by MIRRORS, which in my opinion was just horrible. Now Aja is back with this remake of Joe Dante's 1978 cult classic. The story is pretty simple as an underwater earthquake causes the ground to split open, releasing hundreds of prehistoric piranha's with razor sharp teeth. The timing is perfect as the lake is just happening to be throwing a spring break bash. I went to the first screening of this film and very few were in the theater with (five of us total) and I must admit that I walked out with my head down in disgust at how bad this thing was. Even the others walked out shaking their heads and one girl had to wake up her boyfriend who had fallen asleep. What I found so sad about this film is that director Aja has so much talent yet you couldn't see any sort of vision on the screen as this movie looks like it should have been shown on MTV and even that movie SPRING BREAK SHARK ATTACK seemed to have more vision to it. I'm really not sure what happened here as nothing we've seen from the director carries over to anything in this film. I think the biggest problem is the horrid screenplay and the downright awful and embarrassing characters. I hated every character from the hero son (Steven McQueen) to the jerk porn director (Jerry O'Connell) and all of the partying kids on the beach. They were all incredibly annoying and I just couldn't put up with any of the horrible dialogue they were screaming and I didn't want to see any of them live, which isn't good in a movie when you're suppose to cheer for someone. I found McQueen to be very boring in the lead and O'Connell is just so over the top that you can't help but roll your eyes. Elizabeth Shue isn't too bad as his mother but she isn't given enough to do. Ving Rhames gets to kill a few fish but again, he's not given too much either. Christopher Lloyd get a fairly funny cameo. We even get Eli Roth appearing as an actor again while we all wait for his next directing gig. The most inspired moment happens at the very start of the film when Richard Dreyfuss is obviously playing the character he did in JAWS. We even get him dressing in the same outfit and singing a certain well-known song from that film. This was without question the highlight of the movie but after this everything pretty much went downhill. Those who will sit through the worst garbage around as long as there's gore won't be disappointed as we get countless CGI attack scenes that are often edited way too fast to the point where we really can't see much. The film does have some visual effects that are very good and the aftermath of the attacks when we see the damage done to the bodies looked very realistic and was another highlight. Those wanting full frontal nudity from hot women will also find plenty of that as well. With that said, this thing still comes off as a major disappointment considering the director in charge. The gore and nudity just isn't enough to save the lame screenplay, bad dialogue and pathetic characters that we have to put up with. There's no visual style and even the 3D effects are used rather poorly as if they were added in much later. I'd probably recommend people to just save their money and check out the film in 2D if they have to see it at all. There's no question that the 1978 film is safe as is the original 1995 remake.
 

Patrick Sun

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I went into this film expecting lots of blood, bewbies, and carnage. With those lowly expectations, the film delivered. The cast actually had veteran actors who played up their roles to the hilt, which made a lot of the scenes hilarious, undercutting some of the insane mayhem and tension from the impending piranha attacks on their human prey. Viewed with the right mindset, this film is a lot of fun in how it shows the effects of the piranha attacks. There is some strong R-rated gore in terms of depiction of damage inflicted upon the victims, and the language used reflects real world reaction to being in the midst of the chaos. If you go into this film expecting strong characterization, you'll be let down, but if you just accept that the film sets out to maximize all the trappings of such a genre movie, it pays off well.

 

I give it 2.75 stars, or a grade of B-.
 

SteveGon

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Gotta go with Patrick on this one! This was good schlock! *** out of ****
 

SWFF

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Who else here is waiting for the DVD announcement? AMAZON already has them listed, but they're on ALERT ME status.

Anyone, heard anything yet?
 

cineMANIAC

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Man, this movie rocked! Not "high art", but, then again, it's not expected to be. There's a lot of whining going on about how today's horror movies suck, it's all crappy remakes, etc. Someone actually makes an entertaining flick and nobody goes to see it. Same goes for Adam Green's Frozen and this month's Machete. Can't wait for the Piranha blu-ray.
 

Michael Elliott

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Originally Posted by Luisito34
 

it's all crappy remakes, etc. Someone actually makes an entertaining flick and nobody goes to see it.

A large group thought this was a crappy remake. They finally got one right and stayed away.
 
 

JonZ

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Agree with both of you. This movie was just "fun". I enjoyed it alot, prefer it to 95% of the recent horror Ive unfortunately seen, and cant wait for the Bluray so I can see it again.
 

Paul D G

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I don't think it got a lot of love from the theaters either. It's the only 3D movie that I know of that hasn't had a 2D counterpart showing as well - at least near me. Since I can't see in 3D I couldn't go. Sorely disappointed as I was really excited to see this. Now I'll have to wait for the Blu.
 

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