Scott Weinberg
Senior HTF Member
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2000
- Messages
- 7,477
Hi guys. First off, I adore the first one (4/5) and like the second one (3.5/5) more than I probably should. With that out of the way, here's my review for Goldmember.
Goldmember (:star::star: out of 5)
Sequelitits catches up with Austin Powers in a big way. While the first entry was a surprisingly good time, and the sequel was somehow more entertaining than it probably should have been, the series comes spiraling back to earth with Goldmember.
A lazy, paint-by-numbers follow-up that takes great pains to include all the fans’ favorite characters (and punchlines) from the earlier films, Goldmember simply lurches along, pushing all the appropriate buttons, yet everyone onscreen seems completely bored with the project by now. Most importantly, it’s simply not very funny.
After starting the movie out with an unexpectedly clever tweak on Hollywood moviemaking, Goldmember slowly runs out of steam for the next 80-some minutes. In an effort to keep the Powers-faithful from exploding with rage, star (and co-screenwriter) Mike Myers has enlisted all the familiar faces to show up one more time. (What Robert Wagner and Mindy Sterling, two solid participants in the earlier movies, are doing in this film is beyond me. They look as if they were paid to hold the furniture down.) With the ‘casting continuity’ properly squared away, Myers opts to (once again) recycle the best gags from Parts 1 and 2 and invents a few new ways for us to laugh at urine, rear-ends, and flatulence.
The plot is nearly incomprehensible (as if it matters one whit), but as far as I could glean: Austin (Myers) is still battling the maniacal Dr. Evil (who aims to melt the polar ice caps thereby flooding the world...and is also played by Mike Myers), only this time that pale bald freak has a new ally – a Dutchman named Goldmember (Myers again, the hardest working man in...well, in the Austin Powers flicks, anyway). He has a gold…member. Ironic when you think about it: Myers takes the time to create a new villain, names the movie after him, battles out of court to retain the usage of the moniker…and then the damn character is A) barely used and B) offers not one single laugh. Not one. No kidding. If you thought the addition of the Fat Bastard character (as played by yet another Canadian comedian named Mike Myers) signaled the end of the Austin Powers franchise, wait till you see the stupidity that is Auric Goldmember. With a massive bulge in his crotch and a predilection for eating his own dead skin, the titular character is a gaping black hole in the middle of this tiresome farce.
Not content to simply add a new villain to this sequel’s ridiculously overcrowded stable of characters, Myers also offers a new femme fatale named Foxxy Cleopatra (the charming Beyonce Knowles) and a previously unmentioned father figure played by Michael Caine. My initial reaction upon hearing that Caine took this role was that of bemused anticipation; after seeing the film, I’m wondering why Caine even bothered. In other words, he (like over half the cast) is given virtually nothing to do. Even the affable Seth Green, generally employed as a breath of delightfully acerbic air in the earlier movies, is totally wasted here.
Goldmember is all about going-through-the-motions. You can almost see the filmmakers checking off items on their list of Austin Powers ‘requirements’. Gone is the freewheeling playfulness of the original movie; it must be near impossible to maintain that sort of subversive freshness when you’re now responsible for a movie studio’s biggest cash cow. Are there a few laugh-out-loud moments to be found in Goldmember? Sure, but you have to sift through a whole lot of tiresome moments (too numerous to mention), pointless cameos (Nathan Lane?), and self-referential in-jokes that would be a whole lot funnier…if the joke weren’t on the audience.
While neither International Man of Mystery or The Spy Who Shagged Me could hardly be considered works of filmmaking brilliance, the third entry displays a stunning ineptness at simply telling a story. I realize that the film is meant to be nothing more than a series of comedy set pieces, but the first two entries at least had A-B-C plots that you could follow along with. Without some sort of narrative structure (however flimsy), your ‘story’ becomes a ‘variety show’. Goldmember is a series of indulgent character introductions (and re-introductions – as if anyone seeing this film somehow missed the first two), lazily attempted exposition scenes, and a whole lot of belabored bits. (Fred Savage with a massive mole on his face: funny for about 14 seconds, right? Yet this gag is milked as feverishly as would be the world's last cow.) Every 15 minutes, I found something supremely amusing in Goldmember. Unfortunately, that equals out to about 6 solid laughs spread over 90 minutes; you’ll find more than 6 laughs in the first ten minutes of the first Austin Powers adventure.
On the other hand, if you think the accident-prone midget Mini-Me (Verne Troyer) represents the pinnacle of American comedy, Goldmember may be your new favorite film. The diminutive guy deserves top billing here. As for Myers, he does strike a handful of solid yuks, but it's plain to see that his heart isn't in it...or maybe he's just exhausted from playing seventeen frantic characters.
Much like this summer’s Men in Black sequel, Goldmember is rife with threadbare and off-puttingly familiar humor, rehashed concepts (most of which were not all that amazing to begin with), visibly bored performers, and a shockingly shallow devotion to overt product placement. (I counted 6 in the first 25 minutes.)
Once again, the moviegoing public is essentially punished for making one small movie a massive hit. It’s only logical to assume that a moneymaker like Austin 1 would spawn a sequel (or four), but that doesn’t mean they have to be so damned generic.
Far from the worst sequel ever made, but surely you have better things to spend 9 bucks on than ‘far from the worst sequel ever made’
Goldmember (:star::star: out of 5)
Sequelitits catches up with Austin Powers in a big way. While the first entry was a surprisingly good time, and the sequel was somehow more entertaining than it probably should have been, the series comes spiraling back to earth with Goldmember.
A lazy, paint-by-numbers follow-up that takes great pains to include all the fans’ favorite characters (and punchlines) from the earlier films, Goldmember simply lurches along, pushing all the appropriate buttons, yet everyone onscreen seems completely bored with the project by now. Most importantly, it’s simply not very funny.
After starting the movie out with an unexpectedly clever tweak on Hollywood moviemaking, Goldmember slowly runs out of steam for the next 80-some minutes. In an effort to keep the Powers-faithful from exploding with rage, star (and co-screenwriter) Mike Myers has enlisted all the familiar faces to show up one more time. (What Robert Wagner and Mindy Sterling, two solid participants in the earlier movies, are doing in this film is beyond me. They look as if they were paid to hold the furniture down.) With the ‘casting continuity’ properly squared away, Myers opts to (once again) recycle the best gags from Parts 1 and 2 and invents a few new ways for us to laugh at urine, rear-ends, and flatulence.
The plot is nearly incomprehensible (as if it matters one whit), but as far as I could glean: Austin (Myers) is still battling the maniacal Dr. Evil (who aims to melt the polar ice caps thereby flooding the world...and is also played by Mike Myers), only this time that pale bald freak has a new ally – a Dutchman named Goldmember (Myers again, the hardest working man in...well, in the Austin Powers flicks, anyway). He has a gold…member. Ironic when you think about it: Myers takes the time to create a new villain, names the movie after him, battles out of court to retain the usage of the moniker…and then the damn character is A) barely used and B) offers not one single laugh. Not one. No kidding. If you thought the addition of the Fat Bastard character (as played by yet another Canadian comedian named Mike Myers) signaled the end of the Austin Powers franchise, wait till you see the stupidity that is Auric Goldmember. With a massive bulge in his crotch and a predilection for eating his own dead skin, the titular character is a gaping black hole in the middle of this tiresome farce.
Not content to simply add a new villain to this sequel’s ridiculously overcrowded stable of characters, Myers also offers a new femme fatale named Foxxy Cleopatra (the charming Beyonce Knowles) and a previously unmentioned father figure played by Michael Caine. My initial reaction upon hearing that Caine took this role was that of bemused anticipation; after seeing the film, I’m wondering why Caine even bothered. In other words, he (like over half the cast) is given virtually nothing to do. Even the affable Seth Green, generally employed as a breath of delightfully acerbic air in the earlier movies, is totally wasted here.
Goldmember is all about going-through-the-motions. You can almost see the filmmakers checking off items on their list of Austin Powers ‘requirements’. Gone is the freewheeling playfulness of the original movie; it must be near impossible to maintain that sort of subversive freshness when you’re now responsible for a movie studio’s biggest cash cow. Are there a few laugh-out-loud moments to be found in Goldmember? Sure, but you have to sift through a whole lot of tiresome moments (too numerous to mention), pointless cameos (Nathan Lane?), and self-referential in-jokes that would be a whole lot funnier…if the joke weren’t on the audience.
While neither International Man of Mystery or The Spy Who Shagged Me could hardly be considered works of filmmaking brilliance, the third entry displays a stunning ineptness at simply telling a story. I realize that the film is meant to be nothing more than a series of comedy set pieces, but the first two entries at least had A-B-C plots that you could follow along with. Without some sort of narrative structure (however flimsy), your ‘story’ becomes a ‘variety show’. Goldmember is a series of indulgent character introductions (and re-introductions – as if anyone seeing this film somehow missed the first two), lazily attempted exposition scenes, and a whole lot of belabored bits. (Fred Savage with a massive mole on his face: funny for about 14 seconds, right? Yet this gag is milked as feverishly as would be the world's last cow.) Every 15 minutes, I found something supremely amusing in Goldmember. Unfortunately, that equals out to about 6 solid laughs spread over 90 minutes; you’ll find more than 6 laughs in the first ten minutes of the first Austin Powers adventure.
On the other hand, if you think the accident-prone midget Mini-Me (Verne Troyer) represents the pinnacle of American comedy, Goldmember may be your new favorite film. The diminutive guy deserves top billing here. As for Myers, he does strike a handful of solid yuks, but it's plain to see that his heart isn't in it...or maybe he's just exhausted from playing seventeen frantic characters.
Much like this summer’s Men in Black sequel, Goldmember is rife with threadbare and off-puttingly familiar humor, rehashed concepts (most of which were not all that amazing to begin with), visibly bored performers, and a shockingly shallow devotion to overt product placement. (I counted 6 in the first 25 minutes.)
Once again, the moviegoing public is essentially punished for making one small movie a massive hit. It’s only logical to assume that a moneymaker like Austin 1 would spawn a sequel (or four), but that doesn’t mean they have to be so damned generic.
Far from the worst sequel ever made, but surely you have better things to spend 9 bucks on than ‘far from the worst sequel ever made’
