night of the living MOUSE

Discussion in 'After Hours Lounge (Off Topic)' started by Micah Cohen, Nov 8, 2005.

  1. Micah Cohen

    Micah Cohen Screenwriter

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    OH MY GOD, the worst most horrible thing just happened to me. This will haunt me forever.

    I have a mouse. I mean, sometimes, living in the city, mice come into my house. They frolic in the ceiling space and skeeve me out by obviously frolicking on my stove top and in my kitchen, where they are looking for something to eat (which they never find). I set traps for them, and ultimately they get SNAPPED! in the traps, and I whisk them away into the garbage - goodbye cute little vermin!

    Well, yesterday I set out traps in my kitchen for the current devious little prankster. A Cocoa Puff with a small dab of peanut butter is my bait. I can barely put the set trap down without it SNAPPING! on my hand, but this mouse managed to lick the peanut butter from the Cocoa Puff on all three traps without tripping the traps. How the...? So, I dutifully reset my traps.

    A short while ago, I was minding my own business surfing the web like the loser I am, when SNAP! in the kitchen! Gotcha! That might have been 20 or so minutes ago. I didn't want to go down there because, you know, YUCK! The little guy might still be warm or something, I don't know. And I usually like to leave the SNAPPED! mouse in the trap for at least a couple hours, so if any of his friends show up he serves as a sort of object lesson. Anyway, turns out I had to go into the kitchen to get some scissors to open a package that was just UPS'd to me, and I figured, okay, enough time has passed, no problem. I can peek in, see what I caught, and he'll be dead and all, and I will just get the scissors and open the box and... As I was getting the scissors, I heard a little rustling sound. I thought, "Another mouse? Two traps left..." And then I looked up and over at the mouse that I caught 20 minutes earlier...

    AND IT WAS MOVING! IT WAS SNAPPED IN THE MIDDLE OF ITS BODY BY THE SPRING ARM OF THE GOLDARNED MOUSETRAP -- SNAPPED! -- AND THE TOP PART OF THE MOUSE WAS MOVING, STRUGGLING! AHHHHHH! IT WAS HORRIBLE! LIKE A MONSTER MOVIE! AND SAD, TOO! DIE! DIE DIE DIE! OH MY GOD IT WAS MOVING, SNAPPED FLAT UNDER THE BAR AND BY ALL APPEARANCES D-E-A-D! BUT... IT... WAS... MOVING!

    I ran right up here like a little girl and called all my friends (who all said: "Get a cat") and I am completely SKEEVED OUT! I AM SCARED! I HAVE NIGHT OF THE LIVING MOUSE IN MY KITCHEN! WHAT IF IT NEEDS HUMAN FLESH NOW! BACK FROM THE DEAD!

    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

    Is my hour up?

    MC
     
  2. mark alan

    mark alan Supporting Actor

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    A zombie mouse will take forever chewing a hole in your head to get to the brains. I wouldn't worry.
     
  3. Greg_S_H

    Greg_S_H Executive Producer

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    I take it you didn't watch Masters of Horror last week.
     
  4. Micah Cohen

    Micah Cohen Screenwriter

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    [​IMG]

    I'll never be able to go back into my kitchen! What if... it's... still... moving?!

    I'm terrified! (And... I need some iced tea. Which is in the kitchen... But I can't go down there! THIS WILL HAUNT ME FOREVER!)

    MC
     
  5. Colton

    Colton Supporting Actor

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    Don't be a pussy. You can do this. Be a man!

    - Colton
     
  6. MichaelBA

    MichaelBA Supporting Actor

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    ...the Mouse Police never sleeps, eh?

    I think that was my original advice as well.

    But, come to think of it, I actually recall that my cat (now deceased[​IMG] ) never quite killed the mice she caught. Luckily she nabbed them all outside. No nasty in-house disposal issues.

    Can you somehow work flypaper and tongs into your murine-ambuscading schemata?
     
  7. Inspector Hammer!

    Inspector Hammer! Executive Producer

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    I don't understand people's fear of mice, all they are are furry little mammels, heck, put a tiny leash on it and it's suddenly a pet, they certaintly are cuter than rats that's for damn sure.

    "They're coming to nibble on you, Barbara. Look, here comes one of them now!"

    "When there's no more room in hell...the dead mice will walk the Earth."
     
  8. Micah Cohen

    Micah Cohen Screenwriter

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    "Look out, little furry folk!" [​IMG]

    Okay. Coast is clear. Didn't mean to be such a P-word, but the thing was CAUGHT and STILL moved, reared it's cute little head EVEN THO it was crushed in the middle in a pathetic horrible sort of way. You gotta understand; I just didn't expect the DEAD mouse to not be dead.

    Usually, I SNAP their cute fuzzy little necks with my traps and I don't have a second thought about it. SNAP! But, this one SURVIVED somehow!

    I'm not a-scared of mice -- they are totally cute! Cute cute cute! But... I don't want them in my kitchen and running around in my house. So... I kill 'em ruthlessly.

    So, I let this one fester for a few hours, surely it was dead by the end of "Frontline," then I went into the kitchen and picked the trap up (by the string I tie to it) and plopped it into the garbage.

    Just a little scare there folks. Nothing to be ashamed of.

    MC
     
  9. Scott L

    Scott L Producer

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    Did it look something like this:

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
  10. Micah Cohen

    Micah Cohen Screenwriter

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    AH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    That can't be a real thing.

    [​IMG]

    MC
     
  11. Inspector Hammer!

    Inspector Hammer! Executive Producer

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    I hear ya, I had a similar thing happen to me at work this summer, I was working and suddenly I see this huge waterbug crawling across the floor, they mortify me beyond words so I grabbed a big broom and SPLAT, squashed the thing...so I thought.

    I take the broom away only to discover that the little son of a bitch is still alive, marauding it's way across the floor like the Terminator after it had been blown in half. I finally finished it off with a box that I threw on top of it.
     
  12. Inspector Hammer!

    Inspector Hammer! Executive Producer

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    Ewwwwwwwww!!!!!!! [​IMG]
     
  13. Lynda-Marie

    Lynda-Marie Supporting Actor

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    My mother came thundering up the stairs one day while doing laundry, shrieking at the top of her lungs to my dad that she had just seen a mouse. All she needed to complete the cartoon image was to jump up into the middle of a table and pull her skirts up.

    Dad just laughed at her, and said that it was her imagination.

    My dad was normally a very smart fellow, but not this time.

    My mom fumed but did not reply. She went out and bought a ridiculous amount of traps, baited them and set them all over the basement. My dad laughed himself sick.

    One night about two weeks later, he came home, and there was his favorite meal, steaming hot, waiting for him, with an ice cold brew right next to it.

    Mom went over to him, kissed him ever so sweetly on the lips and said, "Good evening, dear. Would you be so kind as to go downstairs and remove my imagination from the mousetrap? Thank you."

    I heard him stomping downstairs and cussing up a storm, but he never did yell at mom. More than likely, he was calling himself a total f&%$ing idiot
    .

    *************************

    My own encounter with a mouse in the basement was one my cats killed. I was in a hurry to get to work, and saw them crouched over what I thought was some lint. Then I realized, "Lint doesn't have cute little pink feet and a tail!"

    I was grossing out, and muttering, "Eeewwww!!" so as not to startle the cats into galloping away and secreting their prize under the dryer or something.

    I finished getting dressed and grabbed a couple of Kleenex to pick up the mouse with, the intent being that I would dump it in the outside garbage can. Shadow, my older cat, saw me coming with the Kleenex and swallowed the damned thing whole. Moonshine, the other cat, was pretty put out that Shadow was too greedy to share the "treat" with him.

    Shadow was pretty smug for the next few days, having put one over on me. I called him "Mousie Breath" for the next few months.
     
  14. Casey Trowbridg

    Casey Trowbridg Lead Actor

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    Well, I've got a couple of stories about mice. When my family moved out in to the country around 2002, we took our cats of course, and for a few weeks there they would be hunting and killing mice. I think in a 4 week time frame they got something like 2 dozen mice, but that's what can happen when you move to the country and in to a house that hadn't been lived in for a year or so. Anyway, one morning my sister gets out of bed, and steps on a dead mouse that one of the cats had left as a trophy by the door.
    Recently, my mom told me that one of the cats had killed a mouse and was bringing it to my mom to present, sort of like if my dad were to walk in to the house with a goose he had shot or something.

    My favorite though was when I was younger and we lived in our old house. My mom was up late one night washing dishes as she tended to do, working a job until 11 PM sort of lends itself to late-night dish washing. Anyway, my mom was in the kitchen washing dishes, and our dog who was for the most part glued to my mom's side was laying down over by the telephone which was straight out of the kitchen. All of a sudden, mom sees a mouse just dart from out of no where. However, the mouse apparently had a death wish as it ran straight out of the kitchen and right in to the stomach of the sleeping dog. You know how they say to let sleeping dogs lie, apparently the mouse never got that particular lesson, and that was the last mistake that mouse ever made. As within maybe 5 seconds the dog had killed the mouse, and this was just a small fat dog.

    But thinking that something was dead only to find out that it was still alive is something my dad has some experience with. He went hunting once and shot a partridge. Brought it home, in to the house, and decided to clean it. When he removed the head, he found out that the thing was still alive because it started flying around the kitchen. Apparently, it made quite the mess, I don't know cause I may not have been born when that happened or if I was I was real young, but both parents and my older brothers swear its true.
     
  15. Jay H

    Jay H Producer

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    OK Micah, please don't go out and read Albert Camus' The Plaque I read that in high school and really enjoyed it...

    Jay
     
  16. Micah Cohen

    Micah Cohen Screenwriter

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    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

    [​IMG]

    MC
     
  17. MichaelBA

    MichaelBA Supporting Actor

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    When I was about seven years old, visiting relatives in the old country, I pestered my grandfather to kill a chicken for dinner. He agreed, grabbed the clucker, held it down hard on a tree stump, and hatcheted off its head... whereupon the body got loose and started RUNNING AROUND ALL OVER THE YARD with BLOOD SHOOTING out of the red tube that was its throat and SQUAWKING LIKE CRAZY.

    I ran off in terror and hid behind the goats.

    I love my childhood.[​IMG]
     
  18. Craig S

    Craig S Producer
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    [​IMG] This thread is great! I can't believe those pics...

    Wait a minute... are you saying the headless BODY was squawking??? How...????
     
  19. MichaelBA

    MichaelBA Supporting Actor

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    It was pretty wild.

    I suppose my grandfather lopped off the head very high along the hackle, right below the wattle, so the laryx was fairly in tact -- hence the continued squawking as the life-breathe was finally exuded.

    It's not unusual for the headless chicken body to engage in violent death-throes.

    Check out this graphic link:

    http://www.leafpile.com/TravelLog/Romania/Farming/Slaughter/Chicken/Chicken.htm

    >>It's a quick chop to the neck and the body tries to fly away for almost a minute.
     
  20. Cameron Yee

    Cameron Yee Executive Producer
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