My mom yelled at me! :(

Matthew Chmiel

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Tonight, my best friend asked me if I wanted to go skating with him. Since I was bored, I said yes. I left a message on my mom's cell phone (since she wasn't home at the time) and out the door I went skating.
Now, my mom always tells me that I need to make friends. Now since my best friend I were there at the skating rink from opening to almost closing (we left around 10:40/10:45pm) and there weren't a lot of people there I made a few friends. I made friends with two male 8th graders who were fun to hang out with, three 9th grade girls, and a group of 11th grade girls who were avoiding my best friend and I like the freakin' plague.
Overall, it was a great night (better than last week's football/fracturing arm incident).
I get home at 11pm, and who's waiting there pissed? If you answered my mom, you win... you win nothing, but that's beside the point.
She said I shouldn't be out so late as I'm only 15 and a sophomore and that there's a curfew in the city (like the cops would bust into a skating rink full of kids, teenagers, and parents
) and that I could've went to Juvienile Hall. I told her that she's always telling me to make friends and I made friends tonight. She was still pissed, made some snide remarks how I will never step foot out of my house for a while, and went back to bed. What should I do (and what you guys do if you were my parents)? My mom knew where I was, and I'm not a trouble maker. My best friend and I said we have to do this again next Saturday as most of the people we met are returning next Saturday.
Oh well, my friend did make a nice comment about me: "I hate to say this, but you're getting pimper." OH YEAH!

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Travis D

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Yeah she was a little tight-assed if you don't mind me saying so. Although you only left a message and didn't really get her ok on th whole deal. Oh well, that's still nothing compared to what on of my friends did.
He told his parents he was spending the weekend at this guy's house and the guy told his parents he was staying at my friends house. So, they both high-tail it to Panama City, Florida and spend the weekend in the guy's summer condo.
Long story short, my friend's parents and the guy's parents meet at a football meeting by chance and discover something very bad for the two. When my friend gets home, his parents have police search him for drugs, get him tested for drugs, cut up his licence w/ scissors, and make him do community service at a library for a month. I just told him, be glad you didn't go to Mexico. Who knows what would have happened to him then.
 

Matthew Chmiel

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quote: Yeah she was a little tight-assed if you don't mind me saying so.[/quote]
I don't mind you saying so.
quote: Although you only left a message and didn't really get her ok on th whole deal.[/quote]
She called my cell phone at the rink and I got to it right in time, and since it was so noisy in the place we couldn't talk that long.
quote: So, they both high-tail it to Panama City, Florida and spend the weekend in the guy's summer condo.[/quote]
Maybe I'll do that next weekend.

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[Edited last by Matthew Chmiel on October 14, 2001 at 01:58 AM]
 

Mark Dubbelboer

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do her nails for her...it's what the chicks dig

you're 15. it's your moms job to watch over you night and day. just be thankful yo'uve become more pimping
ha ha
 

Cees Alons

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MAtthew,
Be glad she really cares for you. And, if I understand the whole story right, what was the deal anyway? She explained to you what she'd expected of you and then went to bed? No penalties?
And, how much we all would like to assure you you're perfectly right, bla, bla, bla... uhm.. that excuse about how she wanted you to make friends wasn't the strongest, agreed?
I mean that would serve for almost anything you did and well, honestly, you're not really trying to "prove" to her how lovingly obedient you were being?
Cees
 

David Lambert

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Here's a thought. I can't say as how well it'll work, since I don't know your mom. But it's an idea.
Take the first 3 paragraphs of the post you made to start this thread. Add the bit about your mom calling you on your cell phone so that she knew where you were, but that it was too loud to talk. Throw in that she could have called you back on it at any time to ask why you were staying out so late.
Remove all indications that you posted that stuff on the HTF...who wants to be dissed on the Internet by their teenage son?

Print it out and hand it to her. Hand it to her folded in half, and say, "Mom, I know you were pissed at me last night. I'm a bit confused about the whole thing, and I put my thoughts here. Do me a favor and read it over, and tell me what exactly you want me to do different. I'm sure we can work it out, but please don't tell me not to go back next week and miss making new friends. I hope you know you can trust me."
Yeah, it's all kinda shlocky and kissy-poo. But I figure that, in about a dozen years, that sort of thing would work with my son and my wife. Maybe it will work for you, in some fashion.
At your age, it's about time to start figuring out how to make the transformation to dealing with your mom - and her with you - on a more adult level. Some moms never let you, which is why I haven't talked to my own mom in a couple of years.
So maybe I'm the wrong guy to take advice from concerning moms.
Good luck, though.
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Kenneth

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It sounds like your Mom panicked a little and reacted poorly because of that. The best approach (rather than outright defiance) is probably to reassure your Mom that you are responsible enough to be out later (and as you get older that degree of lateness will need to grow). Work out a system that you both are comfortable with so that your Mother doesn't need to sit at home worrying too much (which always makes for cranky confrontations).
I went through some similar occurances when I was 16/17 because I would often be out late playing D&D and board games with a small group of friends. The first time I came in at 3 in the morning I got in trouble because my Mom wasn't sure where I was. After that we worked out a system that I'd call and identify my location, even if it was late. Also, when I came home very late I would wake her up so she knew I had returned okay. This worked out fine and allowed plenty of late night gaming sessions.
Good luck.
Kenneth
 

Steve Tannehill

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Matthew, you can take this with a grain of salt since 1) I am old enough to be your father and 2) my worst transgression as a teenager was going underaged to an R-rated movie. (I more than made up for this as an adult, however.)

What's the issue, Matthew? Is it that you broke curfew? That you went out assuming your mother's approval? That you were out too late by the standards set for you? What, if anything, did you do wrong?
Are there ground rules about your going out with your friends on Friday and Saturday night, and did you break them? Or have these rules not been established?
This is the only advice I'll offer: if you did something wrong, apologize for it...quickly. If you don't have any ground rules about going out with your friends, write some down and offer them to your mother for her consideration. Then live by them.
I just saw the governor of Nevada on the news talking about anthrax being detected at a Microsoft office in Reno. Now rationally, I know that the chances of this happening at a skating rink in Vegas is remote. But if I were a parent, and I had just heard about the terroristic spread of a fatal disease in my state, I would probably be a little concerned about the safety of my teenage son.
Good luck,
Steve
 

Andrew W

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I only have a 4 year old daughter, not any teenagers. But I think 11:00pm is not too late for a 15yo to be out on a weekend in a public place like a skating rink.
I will probably have a variable curfew for my daughter which will depend on where she is and who she's with.
Your mom is probably over-reacting to current events a bit.
Work out an agreeable plan for the future and then respect whatever you two agree to. That's the best way to get more adult responsibility.
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Glenn Overholt

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I've been a son and a dad too, so my thoughts are mixed on this.
I went out when I was 17 once and got back at 12:30AM. She freaked but I did it again and she never said a word after that. Be thankful, (I think).
As for the dad part, it is true that she may have overreacted just because of WTC, but you left out how you got there and back.
If it was just a few blocks, there wouldn't be a problem with this, but knowing how Vegas never closes, there might be some extra concerns there, but she should have told you all about that long ago.
She may be concerned too about the 'types' of people that are out that late. You're automatically guilty by association.
If the other kids at the rink were all ok, then ask them how their parents feel about them staying out at that time, and try to get some of their parents to call your mom. You need to get a stamp of approval on this.
Glenn
 

DaveF

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Out until 11pm; you're 15; you had left your mom a phone message before; city has curfew.
Thinking back on it, my mom would likely have been upset at me in the same situation. And I would have felt the same as you. My parents were fairly conservative about my curfews growing up -- to my frustration at times, especially when other friends didn't have the same restrictions.
But in hindsight, they were pretty consistent, and the rules were because they cared and were concerned about me. And I was the first child; parents generally are most conservative with the first; the fourth child they let run wild in the streets...
It's hard in the thick of it. If you can talk with your mom, ask what she was worried about and get the ground rules clarified for future outings. Then deal with it, 'cause parents aren't perfect, but teenage kids are ususally even less perfect

And what the heck does "getting even pimper" mean?
 

DaveF

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quote: and try to get some of their parents to call your mom.[/quote]I'm not a parent, but I don't think that's a good idea. Seems to me that the one thing all parents dislike most is for other parents to even suggest that they aren't good parents.
A friend's parent calling your mom telling her how to raise you (that's how it would come across) would be embarassing for your mom. And if she learned you were behind it, you'd be in the doghouse for the rest of your life.
Your mom is probably over-reacting to current events a bit.
That's a mom's perogative -- no, her duty! A mom's job is to over-react, worry, fret, and generally be concerned about the things that clueless dads forget about

[Edited last by DaveF on October 14, 2001 at 12:19 PM]
 

Philip_G

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Bah. Just do like I did (and still do)
ignore her. She'll get over it eventually

hell I'm 23 and it still works for me (though maybe the 1500 mile distance between helps)
wait till you're 18 or 19 and don't come home at all sometimes. Then they really flip if you "forget" to call

[Edited last by Philip_G on October 14, 2001 at 12:30 PM]
 

Matthew Chmiel

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With the help of Seth Paxton and everybody who responded to my thread (which is a first as my threads usually die once they're posted
), I'm going to ask my mom if we could work out a deal where if I call every hour or so from where I'm at till I get home so she knows where I'm at and that I'm not causing mayhem.

And what the heck does "getting even pimper" mean?
I don't know, but I can tell you that the term my friend used does not deal with soliciting clients for prostituion. Now if I was doing that, I'd be in deep shit with my mom.

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Steve Tannehill

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I'm going to ask my mom if we could work out a deal where if I call every hour or so
Dude! No! Unless the alternative punishment is being banished from ever going outside, don't sign up for quite so heavy a chain! Be accountable, but be reasonable. Carry your cell phone, and let Mom call you whenever she wishes. But don't check in every hour unless there is a major change of venue.
IMO...
- Steve
 

DaveF

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I'm going to ask my mom if we could work out a deal where if I call every hour or so from where I'm at till I get home so she knows where I'm at and that I'm not causing mayhem
A bit similar to what my parents did when I was in high school. If I was going somewhere, I had to tell them where I was going, who I would be with, and when I would be home. If I wound up going somewhere else I had to call home first. If I was going to be out later than I had said, I had to call to get permission first.
...except when I went to my friend's house, who lived across the field. Then it was, "Mom, I'm going to Kyle's. I'll be back in a day or two."
 

Matthew Chmiel

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Well I just talked to my mom about the subject and we worked out on an agreement. Since she knows I'll just be at the skating rink next Saturday (from opening to closing: 7pm - 11pm), she just told me to call her when I get there and when I'm about to leave and she said she'd call me on my cell phone when she gets home (as she usually goes out with friends on Saturday nights).
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Ted Lee

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Well I just talked to my mom about the subject and we worked out on an agreement.
dude...you totally did the right thing. by talking it out with her instead of acting like a rebel, you probably showed her that you're mature enough to do the right thing. also the cellphone thing is a good idea. she can always check on you then and feel assured that you're safe.
on a completely side note, take a listen to my quickly summarized sob-story. maybe it'll put some things into perspective...
when i was fifteen i was doing the same thing as you. by the time i was 17 i was completely ignoring my parents and doing whatever i wanted. needless to say we didn't get along very well. by the time i was 20 both my parents had passed away. now i'd do anything to have them back.
just my .02
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