My family's in serious trouble, please help us, please. (1 Viewer)

[Inspector Hammer!]

I don't know where to even begin here, but I feel like the world is ending. I live with my parents for the time being, and several months ago my father was laid off from his job that he worked at for 17 years, running the machinery at a bakery. The compay was bought out by another bakery chain and his plant shut down, since then he's looked for another job and collected unemployment, which ran out 6 months ago, during this time. He was unsuccessful at finding anything becuase of his age, he's 62, nobody actually said that to him, but he knows that's why.

I've tried to help out the best I could, but the bills kept mounting. My mother is on disability which doesn't give her much at all, not enough to live on at least. My dad was summoned to appear in court with the landlord last month because he owed 3 months back rent, more now, and told the judge that my mother was due to go for lung cancer surgery soon and couldn't be put out in her condition. They made a note of it and said they would let him know. Well, a couple of weeks later, the constable for court 13 showed up with an eviction notice, and when my father told her about my mom, she said that nothing was said about that and she held off the eviction, this was last week.

My mother went in for her surgery on Friday and it went extremely well, she's recovering nicely in the ICU and will be moved to her regular room tomorrow, she can come home next week sometime, trouble is, we won't have a home next week.

The constable showed up today and said we have to be out Wednesday at 11 am. To add to our problems, my uncle, my dad's brother, passed away of a heart attack on Friday, my dad got that call after we returned home from my mom's surgery, so he has to deal with that on top of everything else. Over the course of the past few weeks, we've called everyone we could think of who might be able to help, but encountered nothing but referrence phone numbers and red tape, nobody is helping us. My mother doesn't know about my uncle or this Wednesday's eviction, my dad understandably want's to keep it from her until she recovers a little more.

I went up to visit her today after I got the letter from the constable, and I felt sick to my stomach standing their in her room, she was talking to me but I wasn't listening, I just wanted to get out of their before I exploded, seeing her their with the knowledge that she won't have a home to go to was too much for me to take. I realize that they can't discharge her if she has no address, but still.

I don't know what to do or where to turn. Come Wednesday, our lives will be in shambles. Any advice any of you can give me will be greatly appreciated. I'm sorry that I came to you with this, but i'm just trying everything at this point.

Please help us any way that you can.

Thank you.

 

[Bruce Hedtke]

John,

First off, my condolences. What you are going through is very rough indeed and you seem to be handling it as best as anyone could. The biggest hurdle to clear at the moment is housing. Do you know if there is any low-cost, state run apartments in the vicinity? Call your city housing department...or city hall in general and they should be able to give you information. The state run apartments are rent-controlled...so basically, they charge you as much rent as you can afford, based on a percentage of your income. I've known people who've lived in them that have only paid $9 a month. It might not be the best situation, but it'll help until your family can get back on it's feet.

Bruce

 

[Inspector Hammer!]

Bruce,

we've tried that already and was told that nothing is available at the moment. We tried section 8 too, but they had like 9000 people on their waiting list.

 

[Blu]

You have my prayers, empathy, and condolences.

I'm afraid I wouldn't even know how to begin to help but perhaps your father can qualify for early social security?
I know in some circumstances it can happen but I'm unaware of what those circumstances are.

 

[Inspector Hammer!]

Blu,

I just went and asked himabout that, and he said he already talked to social security and was told that he doesn't qualify. I don't know how bad things have to be to qualify for that, but things can't get much worse than this.

 

[Inspector Hammer!]

I actually had the idea of calling the mayor of our city and plead our case to him, i've seen people on the news do this and it has helped in their case.

Given the cicumstances, do you think this would help?

 

[ThomasC]

My deepest condolences, John.

I actually had the idea of calling the mayor of our city and plead our case to him, i've seen people on the news do this and it has helped in their case.

Given the cicumstances, do you think this would help?

You never know until you try.

Have you sold off all unnecessary possessions, including your home theater system and DVDs and the like, to try to pay the bills? I know that home theater is why we're all here, but you can't replace life. You can replace a home theater.

 

[Scott DeToffol]

Go to the press. Some hungry reporter will be willing to tell your story. Yes, they will be using you - but you will be using them as well.

Good luck.

 

[Justin Lane]

First off, sorry to hear about the bad situation your family is now in. It is times like this when sticking together is most important. Do you have any other relatives in the area your famiy could stay with on a temporary basis? I know it is tough to swallow one's pride and admit you are in trouble, especially with famiy members, but using your support system is sometimes a must.

Has your dad looked for work at Home Depot, Lowes, Wal-Mart, fast food or some other mega-store? These places seem to hire people older in age many times, and while it may be a pay decrease, these types of jobs should pay enough to cover the rent. Another suggestion would be to get rid of any other unecessary expenses and costs including new cars, Home Theater equipment, cable television, and internet service to name a few.

Best of luck in getting your family back on its feet.

J

 

[alan halvorson]

Does your father have an IRA or 401k? If so, he should be able to withdraw as much as he needs, probably without penalty as the funds will prevent an eviction.

 

[Cam S]

My condolences go out to your and your family.

One suggestion for your dad to find work is at a golf course. I ALWAYS see retired men working as golf course Marshall's, and they all seem to enjoy it, and the pay is pretty good as well, not to mention it would be relaxing to be on the course all day. Maybe give that a try.

 

[Carlos Mendoza]

My prayers are with you. What part of the country are you in?

 

[Malcolm R]

My condolences on your situation, John. I don't really have any advice to offer either, but as a couple have mentioned, perhaps if you let us know where you are located the HTF "grapevine" might be able to come up with something or someone nearby to help?

My parents are encountering similar employment situations. My stepfather is 58 and was laid off last Christmas. He was unable to find suitable employment, much of which we assume was due to his age. He's just in the past week been able to begin working again but only by taking the huge risk of running his own business.

My Father, who will be 59 in August, will also be laid off shortly. Fortunately his house is paid for and his other bills are minimal so he should be OK until he finds something else.

And I was notified yesterday that I'm probably going to be out of a job come mid-July. The Regional Manager of our office is leaving and the company has decided to close the office. Fortunately, I'm young enough and have plenty of family support nearby so that I'm trying not to worry too much.

Seems things are falling apart all over these days. :frowning:

 

[Eric_L]

There are plenty of social services out there, but finding them is the hard part. Your family needs an advocate who can direct you to where you need to be.

I would suggest visiting the director of your LOCAL United Way. They won't be able to help you themselves but they will be able to refer you to local charities who can help with houseing, medical costs, etc.

The United Way is a charity that does no direct public services. They only collect funds then allocate them to other local charities. Therefore, they will be familiar with all of the charities in town that could be useful to you. Don not call national. VISIT the local office.

You also may want to look at a church. Times like this a little spiritual help can be uplifting, plus a pastor/priest can command a substantial army of volunteers (among which may be accountants and attorneys) who would be glad to help. Given your circumstances I'd pick a church that has a HUGE congregation. Introduce yourself to the pastor/priest right away and ask for a private appointment - then share all.

best of luck and a speedy recovery for your mother.

 

[Michael Martin]

You also may want to look at a church.

Agreed with Eric. Be upfront both about your needs and your spiritual inclinations, even if you don't have any. A church that's serious about loving its neighbors will try and do something to help y'all out, regardless of your beliefs and opinions on religion.

 

[Eric_L]

Let me add that using a United Way charity in no way makes you a 'charity' case. Most of their charities have staff who can help with things like finding affordable houseing, completing forms for government assistance (like social security appeals) medical discounts, etc.

They will respect your dignity and give you much needed professional help that would cost a bundle if you paid an accountant or other professional for.

 

[Steve_Tk]

Do you work? At least I hope you are. If so, are you able to get two jobs? I would think that in this situation that no second job would be beneath your standards.

And I hate to be the bad guy, but you could save money by canceling your Internet connection, cable TV, things like that. And if you have not already, stop buying DVDs. If it gets really bad you might have to start selling things of value that are not necessities, like Home Theaters.

 

[Chuck Mayer]

John,
My prayers are with your family, and especially your father. In the silver lining department, thank goodness your mother is doing well. I was happy to read that. There has been a LOT of good advice already given in here, so I'll just leave blanket advice.

Try everything you've tried again.

Ask for help. Your family has no doubt paid plenty of taxes and service, and you deserve all the help you can get. Family, friends, the church, the city, whatever.

Appeal the Social Security. Work as often as you can manage (and don't burn yourself out) and stick together.

Good suggestions on the job front for your dad.

Nothing means more than your family.


We'll be rooting for you.

Please take care,
Chuck

 

[Ryan Wright]

Ask for help. Your family has no doubt paid plenty of taxes and service, and you deserve all the help you can get.

Absolutely. These cases are what assistance programs such as welfare are for. Your family should qualify for food stamps and all sorts of public assistance. Keep harassing the people who run these systems in your city. Go down to the welfare office and beg, plead and cry if you must. I see food stamp recipients climbing into new cars all the time. If you're losing your HOME, you have to qualify for these programs.

If welfare/food stamp/other government assistance places won't help you, go to the news media. Explain your situation. Tell them your family is going to be homeless. They will help you.

I wish you the best of luck.

 

[Mark Zimmer]

In the immediate future, call a bankruptcy attorney and file IMMEDIATELY. They can't throw you out if you file because of the automatic stay. If nothing else, it'll give you a little time to maneuver. But one can't do that very well without a roof over the head. This is no time to be prideful.

The foregoing was not legal advice. Contact a qualified bankruptcy attorney in your locale.