Movie Quotes, Uncut Edition

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Steve Christou, Nov 19, 2001.

  1. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

    Apr 25, 2000
    Likes Received:
    London, England
    Real Name:
    Steve Christou
    To celebrate the HTFs vbulletin rebirth I thought I'd include some favorite movie quotes, members are welcome to include their faves, here is a link I regularilily use for quotes....[​IMG]
    D-Day: War's over, man. Wormer dropped the big one.
    Bluto: Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
    Otter: Germans?
    Boon: Forget it, he's rolling.
    Bluto: And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough... [thinks hard] the tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go! [runs out, alone; then returns] What the fuck happened to the Delta I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble." Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer--
    Otter: Dead! Bluto's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
    Bluto: We're just the guys to do it.
    D-Day: Let's do it.
    Bluto: LET'S DO IT!!
    Larry's evil conscience: Fuck her. Fuck her brains out. Suck her tits, squeeze her buns. You know she wants it.
    Larry's good conscience: For shame! Lawrence, I'm surprised at you!
    Larry's evil conscience: Aw, don't listen to that jack-off. Look at those gazongas. You'll never get a better chance.
    Larry's good conscience: If you lay one finger on that poor sweet helpless girl, you'll despise yourself forever. ...I'm proud of you, Lawrence.
    Larry's evil conscience: You homo.
    Bluto: They took the bar! The whole fucking bar!
    Dean Wormer: Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
  2. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

    Apr 25, 2000
    Likes Received:
    London, England
    Real Name:
    Steve Christou
    Wow this was popular!

    Here are some more quotes...

    Rufus T.Firefly: Not that I care, but where is your husband?

    Mrs.Teasdale: Why, he's dead.

    Rufus T.Firefly: I bet he's just using that as an excuse.

    Mrs.Teasdale: I was with him to the very end.

    Rufus T.Firefly: No wonder he passed away.

    Mrs.Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him.

    Rufus T.Firefly: Oh, I see, then it was murder. Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.

    Mrs.Teasdale: Why he left me his entire fortune!

    Rufus T.Firefly: Can't you see what I'm trying to tell you, I love you!

    -Duck Soup-

    "I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con-men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglars, horse thieves, bull-dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shitkickers, and......methodists!"

    -Blazing Saddles-



    "You're putting me on?"

    "No its pronounced Fron kon steen"

    "Do you also say Frodorick"

    "No it's Frederick"

    "I see"

    "You must be Igor"

    "No its pronounced Aye gor"

    "But they told me it was Igor"

    "Well they were wrong than weren't they?"

    "You know I'm a rather brilliant surgeon perhaps I can help you with that hump"

    "What hump?"

    -Young Frankenstein-
  3. Rain

    Rain Producer

    Mar 21, 2001
    Likes Received:
    My all time favourite:

    "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here - this is the War Room."
  4. Steve_Ch

    Steve_Ch Supporting Actor

    Oct 14, 2001
    Likes Received:
    >>"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here - this is the War Room."
  5. Matthew Chmiel

    Matthew Chmiel Cinematographer

    Apr 26, 2000
    Likes Received:
    If you don't like profanity, don't read my post. [​IMG]
    (Note: I put the offensive quotes in spoiler space. [​IMG])
    Jay: All you mother fuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones that are the ball lickers! We're gonna fuck your mothers while you cry like little whiny bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks that are making the movie were gonna make them eat our shit, then shit out our shit, and then eat their shit that is made out of our shit which is made of meat. Then all you mother fucks are next! Love, Jay and Silent Bob.
    Baby Jay's Mother: Yo, fuck you, you fucking square!
    Passerby: Ahhhh, keep on trucking!
    Jay: Maybe one night, me and Lunchbox are out macking this one chick and shit, and she's like 'Ooooh, I want to suck yo guys dicks off' and then she's like 'What's your names?'. And I'm like 'Jay and Silent Bob. Recognize.' Then she's like 'Oh. I read on the internet that fucking you guys are a couple of little jerkoffs' and then she goes and sucks two other guys' dicks off instead. Well, fuck that! We gotta put a stop to these fucking hateful son of a bitches before they ruin our good names!
    Jay: So when's this movie getting made?
    Holden: They start this Friday.
    Jay: So if today's Tuesday, that gives us.... eight days!
    Holden: Three by my count, but close.
    Jay: Riiiiight... my bad. Three days to get that stupid fucking movie from getting made! Come on Silent Bob, we're going to Hollywood!
    Jay: Tickets? Since when did they start charging for the bus? Didn't we used to ride that shit to school everyday for free?
    Jay: You eat the cock?
    Hitchhiker: Yeah! If it'll get me a few couple hundred miles across the country, I'll take a shot in the mouth.
    Jay: Yeah, but we ain't gay!
    Hitchhiker: Don't be so suburban! It's the new millennium! Gay, straight.... it's all the same!
    Fred: Now we can finally solve the mystery of the hitchhiking ghouls! Pull off their masks and let's see who they are!
    Velma: I don't think those are masks!
    Daphhe: And I don't think they're hitchhiking girls either.
    Velma: GHOULS, you fucking moron. Not girls. I wish they were hitchhiking girls. Hot, sexy hitchhiking girls.
    Fred: Let's kick them out! We have a mystery to solve.
    Shaggy: The only mystery we have to solve is why we take our cues from a dick in a neck an...
    Fred: Keep it up beatnik and I'll feed you to the fucking dog!
    Jay: YO! You guys need to turn those frowns upside down, and I got just the thing for that. We call it.... DOOBIE SNACKS.
    Justice: Hi, I'm Justice!
    Jay: And I'm so fucking yours!
    [On Jay and Silent Bob hitching a ride.]
    Sissy: I don't think that's a good idea Justice.
    Jay: Sure it is jugs.
    Missy: Oh my god! He just called Sissy jugs.
    Chrissy: I'm on it.
    [Chrissy pulls out a knife.]
    Justice: Chrissy, no!
    Sissy: We're in the middle of surburbia Chrissy, let's act like it!
    Jay: What's the knife, we having cake or something?
    Chrissy: Shit. He's retarted to boot.
    [Jay points to Silent Bob.]
    Jay: Heh, she just called you retarted!
    Justice: Well maybe he just has manners.
    Jay: Hey baby, you ever have your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?
    Jay: I'm the master of the clit! Remember this fucking face! Whenever you see the clit, you'll see this fucking face! I make that shit work! No one rules the clit like me! Not this little fuck, not even none of you little fucks out there! I'm the clit commander! Remember that! Commander of all that is the clits! When it comes down to clits, that's what I do!
    *All the following was from the first 50 minutes of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back*
    I have other quotes to post, but since I'm lazy right now, so I'll post them later. [​IMG]
  6. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

    Apr 25, 2000
    Likes Received:
    London, England
    Real Name:
    Steve Christou
    [​IMG] Matthew thanks for that whole slew of profanity!
    I haven't seen that yet but now I may give it a go, I'd hate to see what the tv version would be like.[​IMG]
    Here's a longer version of Rain's Dr.Strangelove quote.
    SADESKI: What did you say?
    GENERAL TURGIDSON: I said, Premier Kissov is a degenerate atheist commie! That's what I said.
    SADESKI: Mr.President, I formally request that you have this ignorant fool removed from the war room.
    PRESIDENT MUFFLEY: Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the War Room! What is going on here? I demand an explanation.
    SADESKI: This clumsy fool tried to plant that ridiculous camera on me.
    GENERAL TURGIDSON: Yeah, you bet your sweets, Mr. Commie. Look at this, Mr. President. This lousy commie rat was taking pictures with this thing. Of the big board!
    PRESIDENT MUFFLEY: Mr.Ambassador!
    SADESKI: This clumsy fool attempted to plant that ridiculous camera on me.
    GENERAL TURGIDSON: That's a damn lie! I saw him, with my own eyes!
    PRESIDENT MUFFLEY: Gentlemen, this is outrageous. I have never heard of such behavior in the war room before.
    STAINS: Mr.President, I think they're getting him on the line.
    PRESIDENT MUFFLEY: Hello? Hello, Dimitri? Listen, I can't hear too well, do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little? Oh, that's much better.
    Yes. Fine, I can hear you now, Dimitri. Clear and plain and coming through fine.
    I'm coming through fine too, eh? Good, then. Well then as you say we're both coming through fine. Good. Well it's good that you're fine and I'm fine. I agree with you. It's great to be fine.
    Now then Dimitri. You know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the bomb. The bomb, Dimitri. The hydrogen bomb. Well now what happened is, one of our base commanders, he had a sort of,
    well he went a little funny in the head. You know. Just a little... funny.
    And uh, he went and did a silly thing.
    Well, I'll tell you what he did, he ordered his planes... to attack your country.
    Well let me finish, Dimitri. Let me finish, Dimitri.
    Well, listen, how do you think I feel about it? Can you imagine how I feel about it, Dimitri? Why do you think I'm calling you? Just to say hello?
    Of course I like to speak to you. Of course I like to say hello. Not now, but any time, Dimitri. I'm just calling up to tell you something terrible has happened.
    It's a friendly call. Of course it's a friendly call. Listen, if it wasn't friendly, ... you probably wouldn't have even got it.
  7. Rain

    Rain Producer

    Mar 21, 2001
    Likes Received:
    Matthew, I'm telling your mom. You should be grounded for such language. [​IMG]
  8. Matthew Chmiel

    Matthew Chmiel Cinematographer

    Apr 26, 2000
    Likes Received:
  9. Dheiner

    Dheiner Gazoo

    Jun 13, 2001
    Likes Received:
    Real Name:
    John Dhein
    DAD: You see, we believe--
    Well, let me put it like this.
    There are Jews in the world.
    There are Buddhists.
    There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
    There are those that follow Mohammed, but,
    I've never been one of them.
    I'm a Roman Catholic,
    And have been since before I was born,
    And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
    They'll take you as soon as you're warm.
    You don't have to be a six-footer.
    You don't have to have a great brain.
    You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
    A Catholic the moment Dad came,
    Every sperm is sacred.
    Every sperm is great.
    If a sperm is wasted,
    God gets quite irate.
    CHILDREN: Every sperm is sacred.
    Every sperm is great.
    If a sperm is wasted,
    God gets quite irate.
    GIRL: Let the heathen spill theirs
    On the dusty ground.
    God shall make them pay for
    Each sperm that can't be found.
    CHILDREN: Every sperm is wanted.
    Every sperm is good.
    Every sperm is needed
    In your neighbourhood.
    MUM: Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
    Spill theirs just anywhere,
    But God loves those who treat their
    Semen with more care.
    MEN: Every sperm is sacred.
    Every sperm is great.
    WOMEN: If a sperm is wasted,...
    CHILDREN: ...God gets quite irate.
    PRIEST: Every sperm is sacred.
    BRIDE and GROOM: Every sperm is good.
    NANNIES: Every sperm is needed...
    CARDINALS: ...In your neighbourhood!
    CHILDREN: Every sperm is useful.
    Every sperm is fine.
    FUNERAL CORTEGE: God needs everybody's.
    MOURNER #1: Mine!
    MOURNER #2: And mine!
    CORPSE: And mine!
    NUN: Let the Pagan spill theirs
    O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
    HOLY STATUES: God shall strike them down for
    Each sperm that's spilt in vain.
    EVERYONE: Every sperm is sacred.
    Every sperm is good.
    Every sperm is needed
    In your neighbourhood.
    Every sperm is sacred.
    Every sperm is great.
    If a sperm is wasted,
    God gets quite iraaaaate!
  10. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

    Apr 25, 2000
    Likes Received:
    London, England
    Real Name:
    Steve Christou
    TIM: To the north there lies a cave -- the cave of Kyre Banorg -- wherein, carved in mystic runes upon the very living rock, the last words of Ulfin Bedweer of Regett [boom] proclaim the last resting place of the most Holy Grail.

    ARTHUR: Where could we find this cave, O Tim?

    TIM: Follow! But! follow only if ye be men of valor, for the

    entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived! Bones of four fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty big pointy teeth.

    ARTHUR: What an eccentric performance.

    TIM: Behold the cave of Kyre Banorg!

    ARTHUR: Right! Keep me covered.

    GALAHAD: What with?

    ARTHUR: Just keep me covered.

    TIM: Too late!


    ARTHUR: What?

    TIM: There he is!

    ARTHUR: Where?

    TIM: There!

    ARTHUR: What, behind the rabbit?

    TIM: It is the rabbit!

    ARTHUR: You silly sod! You got us all worked up!

    TIM: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit. That's the most foul,

    cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on.

    ROBIN: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!

    TIM: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide, it's a killer!

    GALAHAD: Get stuffed!

    TIM: It'll do you up a treat mate!

    GALAHAD: Oh, yeah?

    ROBIN: You mangy Scot's git!

    TIM: I'm warning you!

    ROBIN: What's he do, nibble your bum?

    TIM: He's got huge, sharp-- he can leap about-- look at the


    ARTHUR: Go on, Boris. Chop his head off!

    BORIS: Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin'

    right up!

    TIM: Look!


    [Rabbit leaps towards Boris neck]

    BORIS: Aaaugh!


    ARTHUR: Jesus Christ!

    TIM: I warned you!

    ROBIN: I peed again!

    TIM: I warned you! But did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it?
  11. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

    Apr 25, 2000
    Likes Received:
    London, England
    Real Name:
    Steve Christou
    PILATE: People of Jewusalem. Wome is your fwiend.

    CROWD: wahaha!.

    PILATE: To pwove ow fwiendship, it is customawy at this time to welease a wongdower fwom ow pwisons.

    CROWD: Hahahaha.

    PILATE: Whom would you have me welease?

    MAN: Welease Woger!


    PILATE: Vewwy well. I shall welease woger!

    CROWD: Yay. Yay.

    CENTURIAN: Sir, eh. We don't have a Woger, sir.

    PILATE: What?

    CENTURIAN: Eh, we don't have anyone of that name, sir.

    PILATE: Ah. We have no Woger.

    CROWD: Aaaaaah.

    MAN: Well what about Wodewic then?.


    PILATE: Centuwian. Why do they titter so?

    CENTURIAN: Just some, uh, Jewish joke, sir.

    PILATE: Are they... swagging me?

    CENTURIAN: Oh, no, sir!

    PILATE: Vewwy well. I shall welease Wodewic!

    CROWD: Bwaaahahahaha.

    CENTURIAN: Sir, we don't have a Woderic either.

    PILATE: No Woger, no Wodewic?

    CENTURIAN: Sorry, sir.

    PILATE: Who is this Wodewic to whom you wefer?

    MAN 1: He's a wobber.

    CROWD: Ahhhhahahah.

    MAN 2: and a wapist.

    CROWD: Ahahahhahah!

    WOMAN: ... and a pickpocket!

    CROWD: Aaah no. ssssssh.

    PILATE: He sounds a notowious cwiminal.

    CENTURIAN: We haven't got him, sir.

    PILATE: Do we have anyone in our pwisons at all?

    CENTURIAN: Oh yes, sir. We've got a Samson, sir.

    PILATE: Samson?

    CENTURIAN: Samson the Saggisea strangler, sir. Ah, Silas the Assyrian Assassin. Ah, several seditious scribes from Ceaserea, ah... sixty seven seers from...

    BIGUS DICKUS: Let me thpeak to them, Ponthiuth.

    CENTURIAN: Oh, no.

    PILATE: Ah. Good idea, Bigus.

    BIGUS DICKUS:Thitithenth. We have Thamthon the Thaggithea thtrangler, Thilath the Athyrian Athathin, theveral thadithiouth thcribeth from Theatherea.....
  12. Danny Knapp

    Danny Knapp Stunt Coordinator

    Aug 14, 2001
    Likes Received:
    "You're fired, everybody's fucking fired!" - Lieutenant Herb 'Mac' McMahon in Speed
  13. Scott W.

    Scott W. Second Unit

    May 20, 1999
    Likes Received:
    Pvt Hudson: Well that's great, that's just fuckin' great man, now what the fuck are we supposed to do? We're in some real pretty shit now man... That's it man, game over man, game over, man! Game over! What the fuck are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?
  14. Brad_W

    Brad_W Screenwriter

    Sep 18, 2001
    Likes Received:
    "Up yours with a twirling lawnmower." -A Nightmare On Elm Street.

    "Where ever the red dot goes, ya bang!" -Friday The 13th Part 6: Jason Lives.

    "Cornbread, I think." -Aliens.

    "Later Dick." "That's Nick" "Whatever." -Cool As Ice.

    "Drop That Zero, Get wit da hero." -Cool As Ice.

    "Well hello Mr. Fancypants. I've got news for you pal, you ain't leading but two things right now: Jack and Shit, and Jack left town." -Army of Darkness.

    "My boots aren't laced." -The Blair Witch Project.

    "I named him Two-Socks because of his two milky white feet." -Dance With Wolves (worst quote)

    "Fuck me." -The Exorcist.

    "Down the dark decades of your pain, this will seem like a memory of heaven." -Hellraiser 3: Hell On Earth

    "Trick us again child, and your suffering will be legendary, even in Hell." -Hellraiser.

    "And to think, I hesitated." -Hellbound: Hellraiser 2.

    "Happy are those who come to my supper." -Hellraiser 3: Hell On Earth.

    "Never make an assumption because it makes an Ass out of you and umption." -The Long Kiss Goodnight.

    "I was born to murder the world." -Lord of Illusions.

    "Here's your big break on TV. Welcome to prime time bitch!" -A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors.

    "Go Robo." -Robocop.

    "I cut my own out years back, I did. Took care of poppas' too." -The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3.

    "Bah Weep Grah Na Weep Ninnybah." -The Transformers: The Movie.

    "Ironhide, I want you to make a special run to Autobot city on Earth." "But Prime..." "Listen Ironhide we don't have enough Energon Cubes to power a full scale assault. Ready the shuttle for launch." "Your days are number now Decipticreeps." "Now all we need is a little Energon and a lot of luck." -The Transformers: The Movie.

    "Welcome to Jurassic Park. -Jurassic Park.
  15. Ivan Berisic

    Ivan Berisic Stunt Coordinator

    Nov 27, 2000
    Likes Received:
    Shaft (2000):

    Peoples: This is Egyptian cotton, motherfuck. Two-twenty thread. This is like half of your shitty-ass paycheck, okay?

    Shaft: You wouldn't know Egyptian cotton if Pharaoh himself sent it to you, you knock-off wearin' motherfucker.
  16. Richard Kim

    Richard Kim Producer

    Jan 29, 2001
    Likes Received:
    From The Big Lebowski:

    Jesus Quintana: What's this day of rest shit? What's this bullshit? I don't fuckin' care! It don't matter to Jesus. But you're not foolin' me, man. You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus. This bush league psyche-out stuff. Laughable, man -- ha ha! I was gonna fuck you in the ass Saturday. I fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead. Wooo! You got a date Wednesday, baby!

    Walter Sobchak: I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Dude, he kept the money. My point is, here we are, it's shabbas, the sabbath, which I'm allowed to break only if it's a matter of life or death--

    The Dude: Will you come off it, Walter? You're not even fucking Jewish, man.

    Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talkin' about?

    The Dude: Man, you're fucking Polish Catholic--

    Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talking about? I converted when I married Cynthia! Come on, Dude!

    The Dude: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah--

    Walter Sobchak: And you know this!

    The Dude: Yeah, and five fucking years ago you were divorced.

    Walter Sobchak: So what are you saying? When you get divorced you turn in your library card? You get a new license? You stop being Jewish?

    The Dude: It's all a part of your sick Cynthia thing, man. Taking care of her fucking dog. Going to her fucking synagogue. You're living in the fucking past.

    Walter Sobchak: Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax-- YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I'M LIVING IN THE FUCKING PAST!
  17. RogerB

    RogerB Second Unit

    Oct 8, 2001
    Likes Received:
    Joseph Donnelly, Sr.: You are an especially odd boy. I know your mind because you have my handsome looks...

    Joseph Donnelly: You came back from the dead to tell me I'm odd?

    Joseph Donnelly, Sr.: You have all kinds of oddities clattering around in your brain. So had I when I was as young as you. But dreams, my boy, in this poor corner of the world end up in a glass of ale.

    -Far and Away
  18. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

    Apr 25, 2000
    Likes Received:
    London, England
    Real Name:
    Steve Christou
    Dr.Evil: My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15 year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy - the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really.

    Felicity: Felicity Shagwell. Shagwell by name, shag-very-well by reputation.

    Austin Powers: How do you get into those pants?

    Felicity: Well you can start by buying me a drink.

    Dr.Evil to Scott Evil: You're not quite evil enough. You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil, just one calorie, not evil enough.

    Austin: How could you sleep with Fat Bastard?

    Felicity: I was just doing my duty, Austin. I had to.

    Austin: No, I mean, literally, HOW could you sleep with him? He's so fat! The mechanics of it is just mind-boggling!

    Austin: Who are you, baby?

    Ivana: Ivana Humpalot.

    Austin: Excuse me?

    Ivana: Ivana Humpalot.

    Austin: And Ivana toilet made out of solid gold but that's not in the cards now is it?

    Dr.Evil: Mini-Me, stop humping the laser. Why don't you and the great big laser get a frickin' room.

    The President: C'mon, let me nuke that bastard.

    Commander Gilmour: You want to blow up the moon?

    The President: Would you really miss it that much?

    Dr. Evil: [deep voice] AUSTIN, I AM YOUR FATHER!!

    Austin: Really?

    Dr. Evil: No, I can't back that up.

    Ivana: Do you know how we keep warm in Russia?

    Austin: I can guess, baby.

    Ivana: We play chess.

    Austin: I guessed wrong.

Share This Page